campeo Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 You simply don't have a good online profile. Being at the gym doesn't make one physically active, just as having defined muscles does not make someone athletic. People like to see photos of others doing a variety of fun activities because they can imagine themselves being there. No one is turned off that you go to the gym, you just need to balance out your profile with good photos of you doing other interesting things that indicate you have a variety of interests and experiences.
Emilia Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 I'm 5'9 and actually weighing around 132 pounds atm stress and sickness this year is taking a toll on my body. And yeah people don't realize that I "lift" at all but I have the athletic look about me even at my current weight. I think the way you look and the way you THINK you look are two different things. Especially if you put the word 'lift' in inverted commas. You need to cut down on your gym time to 3 x a week, you might feel better. You also need to learn to squat, deadlift and bench and eat properly. That's loads of protein and carbs. 5'9" and 132lbs is very small for a man, even for a woman. I'm 5'6" and heavier than you because I squat and eat a protein-heavy diet.
Ruby Slippers Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 (edited) [] I cringe especially when a guy is flexing his muscles in a gym pic. It says, "I don't have much to offer so I need to compensate with this bulging muscle. Please like me!" If you really need to lean on your muscles that much, at least get someone to take a picture of you at the beach, playing a sport, or doing something with your shirt off. [] Edited August 27, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
Author 4x4storm Posted August 27, 2016 Author Posted August 27, 2016 I think the way you look and the way you THINK you look are two different things. Especially if you put the word 'lift' in inverted commas. You need to cut down on your gym time to 3 x a week, you might feel better. You also need to learn to squat, deadlift and bench and eat properly. That's loads of protein and carbs. 5'9" and 132lbs is very small for a man, even for a woman. I'm 5'6" and heavier than you because I squat and eat a protein-heavy diet. Thx for the helpful advice but I've been doing this seriously for the past 3 years. You have to realize not every body is the same for me to go from 105 to 150 took 3 years of eating 6 meals a day and training 5 times a week. But this year I moved out of home to new city and have done it very tough there were many days I went without eating just to survive. Just because a person weighs more doesn't mean they looks bigger or can outperform you . My brother is the same height and currently weighs 167lbs his appearance is much slimmer than me yet I can lift more than he does.
BaileyB Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 Being physically active is a definite turn on for me - I want someone to hike with, bike with, golf with, ski with, etc... I want to be with someone who has time to spend together and spending several days a week at the gym, weight training, would not work for me. A few days a week is fine, more than that would not be ideal.
mikeylo Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 Men Flexing muscles pictures and in real life is as shallow as a woman not acting her age. It all screams -- attention seeker. They do get it but it doesn't satisfy them for long. They need more and more and more. When I see a woman above 40 ( mostly above 50), dressed up and acting like a 20 year old , it's repulsive.They attract similar shallow , insecure and attention seeking guys. This in itself repels people who are grounded. When a guy or a woman acts his/ her age , nothing is more attractive and sexier than that. It includes the way one dresses , carries oneself, behaves and how they think. Not dressing and acting your age is a turn off for normal, emotionally stable people. Ever seen a guy or woman who ' for some reason ' attracts a lot of attention without doing anything? Far and few but they are out there !
preraph Posted August 27, 2016 Posted August 27, 2016 Gymaholics are really only attractive to other gymaholics. I mean, from the outside, it can seem like a fussy preoccupation with your body to many people. And of course we'd reasonably assume because it's usually true that if you're focused on body, you're going to want a woman with a hard body. In your case that isn't true, and bravo for you, but the solution is super easy. Just minimize the working out on your profiles and in conversation. You know, make it just one of a long list of activities. "I like fishing, swimming, reading, bowling and going to the gym." Don't highlight it. And if you like women who aren't skeletons, put something light about "I'm attracted to a wide range of women as long as they're healthy and happy and share some of my activities." The "healthy" might prohibit the obese people (like myself) from answering (I'd be thinking "Oh, no queso, then, I'm out.") and the "activites" means they need to HAVE some and not just be a couch potato. Of course, you could just not put anything at all and just be the one who picks them first and communicates and then you can go from there and not have to write all that. Good luck. 1
SpiralOut Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 (edited) I'm not big people don't even realize I go to the gym until I take my shirt off. Still a tall skinny guy It may not be your looks that are intimidating, though. If a woman sees a pic of you at the gym, she may see you as a fit person who cares about fitness (which is true) and think to herself "I'm in horrible shape. What would he want to date me for?" Or something along those lines. That's especially true if you're mostly messaging larger ladies. They might be thinking to themselves that you could have someone skinnier if you want . . . they could be assuming that is your preference. Anyway, there is a ton of good advice here already. I just thought I would offer the perspective (or possible perspective) of the women you're messaging. Edited August 29, 2016 by SpiralOut
stillafool Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 I always hear women love a man that's in shape but i'm now starting to think it could be a turn off to some women? Maybe to some but a lot of women may think because you work out and are in shape that you will want that in a partner. So they may feel they are too out of shape for you.
Osmium13 Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 I thought the "dad bod" was what all the young ladies hankered after these days? Well, until 18 months ago that's what I had. I'm in a lot better shape now and I can confidently say it makes no difference whatsoever. I get just as little attention now as I did when I was a fat sod
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