Miss Peach Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 I like to ask this on dates. I don't necessarily need all the details. But I am wanting to know if the guy is into LTRs, recently out of a relationship, red flags (i.e., abuse, prison), etc. I wouldn't evade the question complete as I agree with the others it looks like you're hiding something. You don't have to spend the whole date on it either. You could just say something like 'I date but haven't found anyone I've wanted to be serious with'.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 I'll just be honest with them and say you're not comfortable discussing your history
Sunkissedpatio Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Is the reason so many are offended at talking about rel past on 1st or 2nd date because of some silly self-help notion that was being propagated in the 90's whereby you shouldn't talk or ask about ex's in early dates? I can't believe how many would refuse to discuss that! If a person I was out with got all uppity or refused to broach the subject or said "the past stays in the past" I'd be highly suspicious of what they are hiding and likely not about to stick around to find out what it is. OP since you mentioned you don't have a lot of past experience you should have a canned response that sheds enough light on your past to satisfy the person's curiosity and that doesn't leave you open to having to explain all the intricate details. That is probably the best approach. Kind of like how you would broach the no work experience question at a job interview. Can you tell a little more? As in, have you not had past rels. or just nothing serious in a while ?
Sunkissedpatio Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 I've encountered a few like that in the past. One was like a therapist, he had (I later learned) a set amount of questions that he asked all women he dated and one of them was "Why did your last serious relationship end?" Ugh I had one of those on a date many years ago, guess he thought he was really clever asking me "so, tell me what your top 3 worst traits are" I came so close to saying "well I really want to tell you to Fck Off right now and chances are I will because sometimes I am incapable of editing my thoughts before they come out of my mouth. That's Oooooone. Twoooooo...." Seriously? Some people try too hard. Like someone else said, it shouldn't feel like a job interview. 1
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