Ex is back in his life?

[aracelli8]

My fiance got a new job where he'll be working with his ex from time to time. This only bothers me because she's been a problem in the past. She has left flirty comments on Facebook and months ago I saw an email from her in his inbox. (He left it open on my computer). When I asked him about her in the past, he assured me that nothing was going on. In the email, he responded to her email with a flirty comment but then rejected her when she asked to meet.

 

So now that I know they'll be working together I've been uneasy about this. He then said that she's engaged and has gained considerable weight (as to reassure me, I suppose.)

 

I really don't want to be one of those women who are constantly worried about the SO's location, what they're doing, etc. But I can tell I'm already distancing myself from him as to not get hurt. I'm lost. Am I obsessing or are these legit concerns? What should I do?

[Dis]

I would be worried

 

What seems to be cause for concern is that your fiance is entertaining her to some degree....otherwise he wouldnt have responded to her email....def not in a flirty way

 

The fact that she's married doesnt mean much...she's obviously not happy in her marriage otherwise she wouldnt be flirting with another man

 

The fact that shes overweight doesnt mean anything at all either...guys cheat with less attractive women all the time

 

It seems shes got her heart set on him....so lets hope your bf loves/respects you enough to reject her advances....and yes she will be making advances....esp once they start working together

 

Did you express to him that his flirting with her is unacceptable???

 

I would keep my eyes wide open if I were you

[sandylee1]

Does he know you saw his reply to the email? He may well still have feelings for her.

 

I'd be worried too if I were you and distance myself emotionally. By telling you she's engaged and has gained weight, makes it sound like he'd go for her if those two weren't an issue.

 

Note that he never said. I love you, I'm engaged to you and I'd never cheat on you. He only offered reasons why he or she may not get it on.

[ksol9]

If there is any sort of doubt in your mind about her..which would be completely understandable since she is his ex, he needs to do whatever it is he can to reassure you that everything is going to be ok. As far as facebook and email, he shouldn't be communicating with her. I would ask him to remove her from Facebook and not to communicate through email or at all for that matter. He should be willing to be completely transparent. if this woman oversteps her boundaries, it is his fault for not respecting your relationship to begin with.

 

Don't be afraid to ask him to establish these boundaries. You are not insecure or overbearing. You are being cautious. There is nothing wrong with that especially since she has been a problem in your relationship before.