Guys, what's going on here?

[ScreenName777]

After 7 years, I reunited with an old flame. (Me - F 35, him M 41). Wasn't sure if I wanted to rekindle after his FB friend request and thought he was in a relationship. Deleted it. A few weeks later, I see he is in fact single, my gut prods me to I re-add him.

 

We exchange numbers and he asks me out. I end up canceling our date 6 hours before hand, unsure again to get involved. I felt bad after this because I have mixed feeling about him.

 

A week later, I text him and he immediately asks me out. We meet up and I've start to develop feelings for him again. He invites me out of town the next night = wants sex. I decline, but ask for a rain check to hang out again. He agrees.

 

Now, here's where I'm getting irritated. Since the delete, re-add situation, I'm always initiating contact. However, he replies immediately, we arrange to meet-up, he pays for my drinks, he's introduced me to his friends, offered for me to front his band (I've fronted bands before), visiting his second home overseas and admitted some personal stuff going on at work.

 

There was an event last weekend, he said he would be there. I decide to show up and say hi. Lo and behold he claims not to be there, but out of town. His FB said he checked in there within 2 hours. Told him to have fun and stopped contact. Haven't heard from him in 6 days.

 

Ok, he's just not that into me? What's going on here? Why is he letting me initiate all the contact and jumping when I do so? Did I screw it all up with my wishy washy behavior? I've made it clear to him that I like hanging out. Any insights or advice, please. I'm working on getting over this, but still frustrated at the same time.

Edited August 26, 2016 by ScreenName777

[oldshirt]

Back in your grandmother's day, would she have had any confusion or self doubt on how to handle a situation like this?

 

What would she have done if someone she had already broken up with had shown up after 7 years and wanted to score some poontang and then kept jerking her around?

[ScreenName777]

Thanks for the comment. I was never close to either granny's, so I have no idea how they would have acted. But yeah, my initial instincts were right not to get back involved. He was a dick back then too.

[carhill]

Ha, muso.

 

You notice that he asked you out until you declined sex.

 

If you've been enamored of him, twice, seven years apart, he must be pretty attractive. Perhaps not relationship material for you, but still. Interesting how that works.

 

What happens if he shows up out of the blue again? Remember the 'he was a dick back then, too' part. It may be difficult. Good luck!

[ScreenName777]

Ha, muso.

 

You notice that he asked you out until you declined sex.

 

If you've been enamored of him, twice, seven years apart, he must be pretty attractive. Perhaps not relationship material for you, but still. Interesting how that works.

 

What happens if he shows up out of the blue again? Remember the 'he was a dick back then, too' part. It may be difficult. Good luck!

 

 

Thanks for your comment.

 

Yes, this is true. I was quick to sleep with him when I was younger and he probably expected the same type of behavior.

 

Enamored I am and don't like it! It's irritating. It's not so much his scruffy appearance, but the same tall, fun traveler that I knew. It's been really fun catching up and we still have a lot in common. I'm going through some family things and I felt a good connection with him. Now, I just can't figure him out and I think he knows this.

 

I deleted his number, so he'll probably get a "who is this" if he doesn't contact me within the next few days.

[jen1447]

Yeah, just jerking you around. That's just how some ppl are.

[l8estnews]

Sounds like a very elaborate booty call to me.