I kinda don't know what's goin' on...

[Fryderyczek]

Hi, I'm Fry

 

Nice to be here.

I have a question concerning a girl 'friend' of mine that I'm interested in.

 

Ok, backstory. We're both 17, I know here since I was 12 but I didn't keep in contact with her until now. She randomly poked me on facebook about 3 weeks ago and we started talking. Mentioning old times, asking about random stuff etc, etc.

 

Now, as you might know teenagers(and tbh people in general) hug themselves as a way of saying hi. At least they do around here. The thing is, she doesn't. In general I have never seen her hug a boy/male. When we chat on Facebook she is very warm, keeps the conversation going etc, but in real life, she isn't as keen to do so. There is almost no physical contact when we meet(met up with her twice-when we first started chatting I was away on holiday)and she is kinda less interested.

 

She told me also that she never had a boyfriend or someone like that and I don't know if she just doesn't know how to do these things or if she just plain isn't interested in me.

 

Care to help me and maybe explain what's going on?

 

Thanks

Fry

[HumanMachine]

She uses you for company when she's bored at home. She's not interested.

[BaileyB]

She could just be very self conscious about touching you - waiting for you to show interest in her and/or make the first move. Sometimes it's hard to break that touch barrier - especially if she's young and inexperienced.

 

It sounds like she likes you but she is quite nervous around you... As we often are around people we really like. But, it's hard to know for sure....

Edited August 26, 2016 by BaileyB

[Fryderyczek]

She could just be very self conscious about touching you - waiting for you to show interest in her and/or make the first move. Sometimes it's hard to break that touch barrier - especially if she's young and inexperienced.

 

It sounds like she likes you but she is quite nervous around you... As we often are around people we really like. But, it's hard to know for sure....

 

Yeah, maybe. I'm also kind of nervous because if I were to be with her she would be my 2nd girlfriend. I'm also inexperienced and that's why I'm scared to do anything.

 

She uses you for company when she's bored at home. She's not interested.

I thought about that as well. I'll meet up with her for longer and chat a bit and we'll see soon I guess.

[BaileyB]

It's a scary thing for both, which is why I would suggest that she may be interested but awkward around you... Girls who are interested a boy but inexperienced/nervous around them do all kinds of stupid things... Like being unsure how to talk to you/what to say, saying stupid things, touching you too much or not at all... I would definitely spend more time with her to see what happens before you say she is not interested.

 

Good luck to you!

[Fryderyczek]

It's a scary thing for both, which is why I would suggest that she may be interested but awkward around you... Girls who are interested a boy but inexperienced/nervous around them do all kinds of stupid things... Like being unsure how to talk to you/what to say, saying stupid things, touching you too much or not at all... I would definitely spend more time with her to see what happens before you say she is not interested.

 

Good luck to you!

 

Thanks

 

I forgot to mention when we chat I usually initiate the conversation.

 

Also, how can I show that I'm interested in her?

When we chat I hinted that I'm interested etc but how can I do so when we meet up?

[BaileyB]

It would be great if she showed at least some signs of reciprocity... I would hope that she initiates some communication, sometimes. Does she talk with you, tell you things, seem like she enjoys spending time with you/talking to you?

 

You can always try the safe... My friends are doing something fun, would you like to come along... If you are feeling really unsure.

 

If not, just ask her to do something fun together - movie, amusement park, get an ice cream. If she says yes, that's a great sign.

 

Give her some compliments - tell her that she is funny, or that you think she looks nice today, or that you enjoyed talking to her/had fun with her. Watch her reaction.

 

It's a scary thing. Others may have some additional advice. Good luck!

[angel.eyes]

Thanks

 

I forgot to mention when we chat I usually initiate the conversation.

 

Also, how can I show that I'm interested in her?

When we chat I hinted that I'm interested etc but how can I do so when we meet up?

 

Invite her out for ice cream or to go for a walk somewhere nice with you. Compliment her when you go out.

 

You say you're inexperienced, but you've had a girlfriend. She's never gone down this path before, right? I understand it's scary for you, and you don't want to risk rejection, but take the lead a little more. She's engaging when you initiate, so it's okay to move this along by asking her to meet in person. I would keep it one-on-one rather than having her tag along with your friends. Having observers will just make both of you more hesitant, stressed, and awkward.

 

Let us know how things go.

[Fryderyczek]

Invite her out for ice cream or to go for a walk somewhere nice with you. Compliment her when you go out.

 

You say you're inexperienced, but you've had a girlfriend. She's never gone down this path before, right? I understand it's scary for you, and you don't want to risk rejection, but take the lead a little more. She's engaging when you initiate, so it's okay to move this along by asking her to meet in person. I would keep it one-on-one rather than having her tag along with your friends. Having observers will just make both of you more hesitant, stressed, and awkward.

 

Let us know how things go.

 

OK I will

 

Yeah I did have a girlfrirend, but I was 12 at that time. The worst thing about it all is that she asked me out...

And she left me then because I was friends with a guy she didn't like...

 

When we meet it's always just the two of us.

Thanks, I'll let you all know