Not sure if Im imagining it or if she is driving me away on purpose

[Apex25343]

Never really posted on anything like this before but I just need an outside opinion from people who dont know my wife and I.My family and friends think I just need too leave her and move on with my life.They think she is using me and if she isnt cheating on me than she goes out of her way too make me doubt her and lose all trust.Im a swing shift worker.I work 2 weeks days then 2 weeks nights.There have been mornings I get home and she haz been out all night and isnt home when I get there.She has taken off on a week vacation with her sister across the country and I didnt know about it til I woke up that night too go too work and got her text message that she would be back in a week.She almost did that again just recently even after she knew I didnt think it was right.I never know wher she is when Im working but I know she is never home cause she always says shes out but doesnt say where and when I ask she accuses me of being controlling and says she doesnt answer to me and that Im not her father.Yet on my days off she completely monopolizes my time and makes me feel guilty if I go out with friends for some time too myself...She has accused me of treating my kidz better than hers.Now I will admit that I dont have to punish my kids as often as hers,but that being said...her kidz have busted 2 brand new tv sets in 1 year.1 has even lined up the stairs outside our bedroom door with thumbtacks once.In my opinion those are punishable offenses....theres so much more but Im sure u get the point....just dont know what too do.I want too leave but I love her and I Dont want too leave

[Mr. Lucky]

My friend, paragraphs and punctuation will get you more readers and responses.

 

Never really posted on anything like this before but I just need an outside opinion from people who dont know my wife and I.

 

My family and friends think I just need too leave her and move on with my life.They think she is using me and if she isnt cheating on me than she goes out of her way too make me doubt her and lose all trust.

 

Im a swing shift worker.I work 2 weeks days then 2 weeks nights.There have been mornings I get home and she haz been out all night and isnt home when I get there.She has taken off on a week vacation with her sister across the country and I didnt know about it til I woke up that night too go too work and got her text message that she would be back in a week.She almost did that again just recently even after she knew I didnt think it was right.

 

I never know wher she is when Im working but I know she is never home cause she always says shes out but doesnt say where and when I ask she accuses me of being controlling and says she doesnt answer to me and that Im not her father.Yet on my days off she completely monopolizes my time and makes me feel guilty if I go out with friends for some time too myself...

 

She has accused me of treating my kidz better than hers.Now I will admit that I dont have to punish my kids as often as hers,but that being said...her kidz have busted 2 brand new tv sets in 1 year.1 has even lined up the stairs outside our bedroom door with thumbtacks once.In my opinion those are punishable offenses....

 

Theres so much more but Im sure u get the point....just dont know what too do.I want too leave but I love her and I Dont want too leave

 

Does she work? Shift work is a relationship killer, any way you can get a more consistent schedule?

 

Having said that, I'd be carefully checking phone, email and social media accounts to understand your marital condition...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Apex25343]

Yeah,sorry bout the grammer and punctuation,Im on my phone while at work so Im just throwing it out there and not paying attention too punctuation..

To answer ur question though,she works maybe 3 hrs a day with her father than the rest of the day is a complete mystery too me

[Apex25343]

In order for me too get a more consistent schedule I would have too get another job.Not a move I want to make while in a Already shaky relationship.

[standtall]

Wow...

 

1. You guys need some MC and to sit down and set up some guidelines about acceptable behavior. She is abandoning you and your marriage, which is a deal breaker for most people. You are entitled as her husband to know her whereabouts...not necessarily permission...just announcing herself. That should go without saying.

 

2. Sit down and discuss parenting styles.

 

3. It sounds like you are letting her use you as a doormat...most likely because there is no consequences for her actions...just like the kids. Tell her to up her game, or a divorce is going to happen. Chirp less, ACT MORE.

[notbroken]

I'm sorry, but it sounds like she is using you for a paycheck at this point. She is out doing who knows what while you are working (though you can guess). If you want to stay married, you may want to find another job. Yes that is tough - but so is divorce. You are controlling all right - you are controlling in that you are expecting her to act like a married woman when she just wants to party and go places without you on short notice like a single woman. Check all records before changing jobs. It will likely be eye opening (and maybe you won't need a new job but an attorney instead).

[Bufo]

Who,,exactly, is holding down the fort when you are working nights and she's out doing who knows what with who knows who? No wonder one of the kids or more is Dennis the Menace Jr. There's no authority figure in the home as the social workers would say.

 

Actually, there's one more teenage kid in the house: your wife. Defiant, sneaky, irresponsible party girl. And her sister (if that's who she parties with) is no better. Neither of them thought about the kids? I'm going to sit back with my bag of popcorn and watch the responsible moms who post here offer their considered opinions of her fitness as a mother, much less as a wife.

 

I don't know the details of your living arrangement, but unless it's some sort of child care commune or a polygamous arrangement, who watches the kids?

 

Sorry if this seems like a thread jack.

[Lowrider93]

Can you list any benefits of continuing a relationship with this woman?

The love you have for her most likely won't be returned, don't get played!