betnow Posted July 4, 2005 Posted July 4, 2005 well its been 6 days for me from wed. thurs. she called and hung up. fri. she called and talked about something i didnt care about.sat. she called me about 6 times i didnt pick up and wrote me about 5 text messages but i didnt reply. sun she called me twice and text message, but i dont reply or answer. i feel this is the best route. what does anybody think? she broke up with me and swore she waned nothing to do with me ever again and never loved me after 4 yrs.
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted July 4, 2005 Posted July 4, 2005 The question is...do you want to reconcile with this woman, especially after she hurt you?
Author betnow Posted July 4, 2005 Author Posted July 4, 2005 right now i dont know, i know i dont want to talk to her right now because im tired of the same thing over and over, even though i want to hear from her. i do think theres something better waiting for me.
Candy Cane Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 I think you have a good approach. Perhaps in time you can go back to her if she has honestly made a change...but I'd give that some time. I might try your approach to my situation. My ex and I have a really messed up relationship and I don't know what it is anymore. Sometimes he acts as though we are back together and other times not. It's difficult to read him. This has been going on for a few months and I think it's time to make a clean break. I'm not going to ask him what is going on in his mind (that's always a mistake)....I think I'm just going to leave. I might pack up and move to a new state. I haven't decided if I'm going to take his calls or not. Perhaps you can advise me on that.
Author betnow Posted July 5, 2005 Author Posted July 5, 2005 i would have to hear more about your situaton before i could give you any advice. but it sounds like your at a point where if you stick with it and keep dealing with it then it will always be that way. sometimes you have to take a step back. also becareful not to lose yourself and forget who you are and what you need as a person. i would like to hear more though about your situation.
totallyconfused Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Dang I think I will try your approach of not calling too! My bf usually calls me once a day but since this whole break thing happened, I guess I will have to try not to call him this time, I gotta turn this break around and call the shots dammit.
outdated Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Nc is the way to go. Take it from me, I started it after months of LC and now I have to beat her off with a stick. Too bad I found someone else. The thing about exes is that they have that radar and they know when you've moved on and they won't want anything to do with you until you have. By then, it's too late, but it's nice to watch them squirm.
Author betnow Posted July 5, 2005 Author Posted July 5, 2005 i agree i've had various breakups with the same girl, and everytime i began to get over her or start talking to someone else, there she was. obviously you can see i gave in, but i plan on taking a different path this time and not the same worn out one.
Candy Cane Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 Well, Betnow, I won't bore you with the specifics. It's very similar to your situation, I think. He told me he didn't "love me" and then I went away for awhile, did the NC thing...he called and I acted all cool...and then we get back together but each time I get less and less from the relationship. So...I just need a clean break but I don't want him to think I'm mad...I just want to move on with my life....so I need to figure out the best approach. Maybe the best approach would be to not think about it.
Author betnow Posted July 5, 2005 Author Posted July 5, 2005 well no matter what your gonna think about it. something you gotta do is not worry about if he gets mad or not. you shouldnt do things out of spite but he doesnt care if your mad, and he knows he has you right now thats why he can do this, trust me. its never gonna change unless you make that step.
Author betnow Posted July 5, 2005 Author Posted July 5, 2005 let him go. respect his decision. keep in mind whether you call him or not he will always do what he wants , when he wats, and with who he wants no matter how much you are there. and you should know, that when he called you when you took a break from him, it probably made it easier for you. either way the situation will never change. you have to change the way you view and respond to the situation. let him go, maybe hell be back maybe he wont, just dont wait. you two will never grow together or as individuals if you dont.
Candy Cane Posted July 5, 2005 Posted July 5, 2005 But my question is, when he calls...and he will...what do I do? What do I say? I've acted very cool about things this far. Do I just not answer the phone? What sort of message is that sending? I think I should tell him something...but I'm not sure what it is.
Author betnow Posted July 5, 2005 Author Posted July 5, 2005 these are all decisions you have to make. it is similar to mine. if your ready to talk to him then go ahead, but it doesnt seem like you can yet without thinking with your feelings. acting cool doesnt usually last forever, your feelings will eventually come out, your only acting. im not ready to talk to her, she kept calling and it made it easy, now she hasnt and its hard, but i know what i have to do. its all part of growing up, what do you want out of this, and what are you getting?
Author betnow Posted July 6, 2005 Author Posted July 6, 2005 im goin on day 8 nc, and im feelin pretty good about it. i get a sad feeling every now and then but overall i know that next good thing is waiting.
Candy Cane Posted July 7, 2005 Posted July 7, 2005 Hey Bet, Well, I'm on the wagon now too. My ex called and called today. I finally called him back and told him what's up. I didn't want to, but I knew sooner or later I'd have to tell him the deal. So...I told him the deal and he didn't say anything that wasn't expected of him. He just wants me around until something better comes along. I told him good luck with that. And that's that. No big loss, I suppose. You can't really lose something that was never there anyway.
Author betnow Posted July 7, 2005 Author Posted July 7, 2005 nice to hear that candy cane. im on day 8 and its a little tough but i know its the right thing to do. goodluck.
Candy Cane Posted July 7, 2005 Posted July 7, 2005 Well, the only tough time I'm having is accepting the fact that I put up with him for so long. Glad to be rid of him!
sanne Posted July 7, 2005 Posted July 7, 2005 well i'm in the same boat as you guys as well. i'm only on day 3 though, well more like day 2.5 to be honest. The hardest part about this is not thinking about my ex while working, I'm forced to sit at my cubicle for 8 hours a day and it's pretty much impossible not to think about her. When I come home I get to go out with my buddies, workout, play ball, etc. and that's when I'm not thinking about her. I know my ex is awful for me, and I know if she doesn't contact me I can stick with NC. What i am scared about is if she comes back wanting to get together, she knows just where to hit me and I'm afraid i'll be weak again. each day has its ups and downs, i'm hoping i'll get to a point where she won't be the first thing i think about when i wake up.
Author betnow Posted July 7, 2005 Author Posted July 7, 2005 i find that the only time i really feel down is first thing in the morning, bu once the day gets goin im good to go. i may only be on day 8 or 9 but happiness without her has already began.....kinda.
fatso Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 U CAME A LONG WAY. U SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOURSELF WITH THE WAY U ARE HANDLING THINGS. HANDLE THE SITUATION WITH YOUR MIND NOT WITH YOUR HEART. U KNOW WHAT U DOING. KEEP DOING IT
Author betnow Posted July 8, 2005 Author Posted July 8, 2005 well thankyou fatso. thats why tonite im goin out and i plan on havin myself a good time if you know what i mean. got a little money, got a new cut, and im ready to go, haha. peace brother.
lvgrly Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by betnow well thankyou fatso. sorry, that just sounded mean...hehehe
Candy Cane Posted July 8, 2005 Posted July 8, 2005 My ex is still attempting to be "friends." He seems to think that he's a really nice guy, a super friend and that I should have understood and accepted the terms of our (or lack thereof) relationship. I tried to tell him otherwise, but I'm sure he doesn't get it. I should be happy with what he wants and content with what he's willing to give. Right? Well, I'm tempted to write and tell what a jerk he is...but...he probably won't get it. I don't think he'll get it until he realizes that I'm really gone this time and that he blew it. What does everybody think? Not that this is my forum, but alas, I feel comfortable sharing here.
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