Author brokenandlostone Posted August 26, 2016 Author Posted August 26, 2016 My recent post was posted mid thru my typing here is the full message Another update After she texted me today asking how my treatments were going, i gave her a quik update about my treatments and she responded about an hour later with praying hands. Now i know i should have expected that kind of response but my heart was hoping for a more heart felt response. I dont know what shes thinking or maybe im just analyzing things to much and i need to understand we are both in different places with our feelings. For closure on today and learning another lesson this is what i wrote Thank you. If anything happens that i feel you should know i will contact you ok. Until then there is no reason for us to talk and im sorry for contacting u yesterday. That was a bug mistake on my part. I want more than what you can give me or interested in and i need to focus on my health and moving on and not focus on a dead relationship. Hope im not being rude i just feel its the best thing for me and id rather not waste time, energy and emotions on someone that gave up on me. Take care of urself and your family. She responded with: Ok im sorry, you dont need to its ok. So im leaving it at that. I hope she gets the message that there is no reason to communicate unless she is willing to offer more and work on things. I hope i handled this ok and i hope i closed that loop hole for her to contact me. This sucks and i see just how much it hurts and sets me back when we have communication. I know us dumpees tend to analyze evry word they text and how they said things to see if there is any love or feelings there. Makes me feel like a desperate pathetic man but her responses are always short and nothing heart felt and that just shows me shes long gone and not the person i loved. Back on the saddle again and i hope tomorrow is a better day and the start to a full recovery. Lesson learned today!!! Broken
Author brokenandlostone Posted August 26, 2016 Author Posted August 26, 2016 Simon I agree with you but when i think about blocking her the first thing i start to think is.... I cant do that... What if she tries to contact me to work things out or wants to talk about us to see about getting back together. I just feel like i would be preventing any chance of her wanting to talk and work things out if she tries to reach out but i dont get her messages bcuz i blocked her. I dont know what to do other than to try and be strong and just ignore any messages from her. I honestly think after today and my last message to her i dont think she will text me again I guess time will only tell
Simon Phoenix Posted August 26, 2016 Posted August 26, 2016 Simon I agree with you but when i think about blocking her the first thing i start to think is.... I cant do that... What if she tries to contact me to work things out or wants to talk about us to see about getting back together. If she really wants to talk to you and get back with you, then you blocking won't have the least bit of an effect. If anything, she'll take it more seriously. If something like that would deter her, then she's not seriously about wanting you back in the first place. And in the state you're in, any sort of contact from her, no matter what it is, will have you thinking that she's making a play toward reconciliation when she's probably not. So blocking eliminates that tricky grey area. And you aren't strong right now, so don't be bullheaded and try to do something you aren't capable of doing. It's not bad to be weak right now -- almost all dumpees would be. But being in denial of said weakness isn't productive. Either way, you're making excuses not to move forward and stay in the muck. 2
NopeNah Posted August 26, 2016 Posted August 26, 2016 How are your treatments going,buddy? You don't need her there for you IF she wants to come back...That's craziness. She's left you and went back to her husband/father of her kids..just block her and focus on you and your health,family and friends..**** the distraction!
Author brokenandlostone Posted August 26, 2016 Author Posted August 26, 2016 Hey Prayingfordaylight, I'm doing ok, hanging in there. It's been 3years on chemo and still putting up a good fight. Hopefully things get better soon so I can live a normal life. It's been hell the past 3 years and the most recent incident with the break up has been an added stress I don't need right now... Sometimes I feel how can someone be so cruel to someone they loved so much and would never leave them and wanted to spend the rest of their life with. I guess nothing is forever, right??? lol.. ****ty situation to be in but I guess that's life for ya! I decided today to block her for my own sanity, it's stopped me from checking my phone every few minutes to see if she texted me. It was beginning to be a bad habit and I hated it. Everyone is right, if she truly wanted to get back together there would be nothing to stop her from contacting me somehow. Until then she's the past now and I need to focus on my future.. Life is to short to give one person so much control over your feelings, self worth and future happiness... To be continued..... Broken 1
Author brokenandlostone Posted August 26, 2016 Author Posted August 26, 2016 UPDATE Well after blocking her number and then unblocking then blocking then finally unblocking.. the inevitable happened... she texted me! Geeez.. I don't know if it was a good thing to unblock or not. Don't worry I haven't responded and I don't intend to unless any of you think I should... If you recall in my last text to her I mentioned that if anything came up with my health that I would let her know and that I felt like we shouldn't talk anymore because I need to focus on myself and my health and not waste energy and emotions on someone that gave up on me... Well she sent me a picture quote that said this: If I ever decide to give up on you, understand how much that took out of me. I'm the type to give endless chances, always have your back even when you're wrong, and truly accept you for who you are. When the rest of the world doesn't want you, I will. So if I decide to give up on you, understand it took EVERYTHING I had left inside of me to leave you alone. Because if I love you and care for you, there isn't anything on the planet I won't do for you. What do you all think and should I leave it alone and ignore it.... Any ideas why she would send this message??? and can any of you interpret the quote??? I've read it about 10 times and I'm confused by the last part that says there isn't anything on the planet she wouldn't do for me but yet she left me.. Doesn't make sense to me... Any comments, thoughts, advice, slap in the head is greatly appreciated!! Thank you and I hope to hear from you all soon Broken
Simon Phoenix Posted August 26, 2016 Posted August 26, 2016 There's nothing to interpret. It's crap like that which is the reason you need to block. Even if you aren't responding now you're trying to find hidden meanings to things. Put the block back on and stop wasting your time trying to figure out what she's doing. It's a complete and utter waste of time and resources. Trying to figure out what another person is doing is a fool's errand. Stop being a fool, put the block back on and keep it there. This is your slap in the head -- two in fact.
Blanco Posted August 26, 2016 Posted August 26, 2016 Dude let her go, she's just absolving herself of guilt. You need to focus on yourself and your health. She sounds like she cares about you but given your condition, she just can't be all in on a relationship. It's harsh but that's the reality. Single parents, unfortunately, need their partner to be another parent in some capacity. This just sounds like something you cannot give her because of your illness. And that's not your fault. But right now, you're battling the facts of the matter. It's not fair but that doesn't change the reality.
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