Author Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted August 31, 2016 Author Posted August 31, 2016 I met a guy online and we messaged for a month before we moved to texting and skyping. We really hit it off or so I thought. We talked about different things , likes/dislikes and he even mentioned doing future stuff w/me. We skyped last week about 4 times, each time lasting 1 or more hours. He would always suggest skyping, yet would never remember, when I reminded him he was always up for it, even called me back after he had to cut it short when friends came by. We haven't skyped in almost a week and this is after I suggested coming down to visit for a day (we both hinted at visiting each other). At 1st he was totally for it and we even figured out what we would do for that day. After me telling him plane ticket prices (I would be paying), those plans feel through. Now I can't figure him out. His texting is sporadic, but that is just his habit (he did that on the dating site as well), he usually texts me goodnight/morning. The other day I did text him asking if he was busy that night and that I enjoyed talking to him. He told me he would prob be busy that night and he also enjoyed talking to me. Today i texted asking if he was free because I wanted to skype him, he said he will most likely be free tonight. the last thing I texted him was a time I could skype. I am almost suspecting he is blowing me off. Am I right to come to this conclusion?
kendahke Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 I met a guy online and we messaged for a month before we moved to texting and skyping. We really hit it off or so I thought. We talked about different things , likes/dislikes and he even mentioned doing future stuff w/me. We skyped last week about 4 times, each time lasting 1 or more hours. He would always suggest skyping, yet would never remember, when I reminded him he was always up for it, even called me back after he had to cut it short when friends came by. We haven't skyped in almost a week and this is after I suggested coming down to visit for a day (we both hinted at visiting each other). At 1st he was totally for it and we even figured out what we would do for that day. After me telling him plane ticket prices (I would be paying), those plans feel through. Now I can't figure him out. His texting is sporadic, but that is just his habit (he did that on the dating site as well), he usually texts me goodnight/morning. The other day I did text him asking if he was busy that night and that I enjoyed talking to him. He told me he would prob be busy that night and he also enjoyed talking to me. Today i texted asking if he was free because I wanted to skype him, he said he will most likely be free tonight. the last thing I texted him was a time I could skype. I am almost suspecting he is blowing me off. Am I right to come to this conclusion? It's certainly not a promising start. It sounds to me as if this is an electronic pen pal situation--if it's taken over a month for you two to have a face to face meeting, then--going by my own personal experience--it smells fishy---like he's got a girlfriend already or someone that is causing him to not want to meet you in person. Proceed very carefully with him. By now, you two should have met. It's one thing to take a week or two to get a sense of someone, but this is moving at a glacial pace. Does he even live close by? How do you know this for certain? Anyone can get a google number with a local area code--just so you know. Time for an in-person meeting. If he balks, then you have your answer--he wants a pen pal, not a girlfriend.
Author Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted August 31, 2016 Author Posted August 31, 2016 We have skyped, I know he is real lol. Just that there is distance between us (yes I have tried to date guys closer to me). He actually texted back sounds good. I hope thats good.
katiegrl Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 (edited) We haven't skyped in almost a week and this is after I suggested coming down to visit for a day (we both hinted at visiting each other). At 1st he was totally for it and we even figured out what we would do for that day. After me telling him plane ticket prices (I would be paying), those plans feel through. Why did those plans fall through? Were you going to visit him or him you? If his plan was to visit you, instead of you paying for HIS ticket to visit, why not buy your own ticket and go visit him? Suggest that to him and gauge his response. If he wants something real with you, as opposed to on line, which is essentially just a fantasy, he should be thrilled. If he's not, then you have your answer. And by the way, I am not suggesting he is a catfish. But it seems from reading this forum and others, a lot of people are preferring the comfort and safety of these "cyber relationships" as opposed to interacting and connecting with someone in real life. I don't know why, sad really. Edited August 31, 2016 by katiegrl
Author Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted August 31, 2016 Author Posted August 31, 2016 From my experience, I know that texting all the time in the beginning doesn't necessarily lead to long lasting, loving relationship. I have always been able to figure out a guys interest through their texting habits and has saved me time figuring that out early before I get involved. When I start dating a guy/getting to know him, I don't need texting 24/7, but I do want to make sure a guy is interested before I proceed. I am willing to take someone w/bad text habits as long as I spend quality time w/this person. I'm just trying to figure out this guy I'm starting to really like, I have posted about him before. His text habits have been pretty consistent, but sometimes I get the feeling he isn't interested or doesn't care, due to long response time. He takes time to text in the morning and at night, so at least he thinks about me. Is this just texting habits or is he being nice? If he didn't like me I feel as though he just wouldn't text at all.
GemmaUK Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 You say he is far away - say you started dating - how often will you be financially able to visit? Once/twice a month? If you're looking at long distance then you have to think about the costs involved for the next couple of years until you know each other well enough to make any decisions about moving. But as you haven't yet met him in person it's way too soon to be thinking this is anything more than just chatting and a bit of flirting. If the first date is too expensive then how will regular dates happen so that you can actually get to know each other? Your threads have been merged as the mods spotted they were on the same subject - my question is the same - as quoted above.
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