wmacbride Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 A post in another thread about affairs put a question into my mind. In an awful lot of cases, it's almost as if there is a handbook of lines for cheating spouses to use, both with the husband/wives or other men/other women. Some are typical, ( I love you but I am not in love with you -from a ws) some are really out there. What ones have you heard, either personally or second hand from others?
DKT3 Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 "I would never cheat, it's not who I am. I'm hurt that you would think so little if me"- My wife Of course she was cheating. 2
PegNosePete Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 I need some space to think I need some time to figure myself out I need to decide what I want in life 1
DKT3 Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 "I have an open marriage." Apparently so did I, only i wasn't told:lmao: 1
mikeylo Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 "I would never cheat, it's not who I am. I'm hurt that you would think so little if me"- My wife Of course she was cheating. Most commonly used ! I've never seen a faithful and loyal person say that. Their behavior speaks for them. 2
carhill Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 "Our relationship is special" "You must've misunderstood" "We're having problems right now" "I couldn't take the abuse anymore" "I'm staying for the kids" "I love you so much. You really care" "We're separated" "I'm not involved with anyone right now" That was an overview of my 20's. There are dozens more than I can't conjure up right now. The lines didn't change much as time wore on but my cynicism did. I still occasionally hear them and have to consciously stifle a chuckle. Life is an interesting journey. 1
aileD Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 with the wife -I love you I'm just not in love with you -I haven't been happy In our marriage in 20 years -she's just a friend -kids are resilient To the OW -we haven't had sex in months/years -wife is an ice queen -I'll leave her when the kids turn 18 -our marriage has been dead for years -I wish I was with you instead of on the carribrean vacation with my wife and kids -you're the only one who understands me 3
preraph Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 For me, it's not what they said, it's what they did. Like choosing to let their ex-wife take them out on their birthday when I'm who is dating them. The excuse for this "Well, we just always spend birthdays together this whole time." Yeah. And then you divorced. Unbelievable. They can't go to something you'd normally go do together, like a concert for a band you both like. I ended up sitting right behind him and a date when I didn't even know he was dating anyone else. Then I had one who said I love you in the heat of passion and then immediately upon release took it back. All bad signs...
DKT3 Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 with the wife -I love you I'm just not in love with you -I haven't been happy In our marriage in 20 years -she's just a friend -kids are resilient To the OW -we haven't had sex in months/years -wife is an ice queen -I'll leave her when the kids turn 18 -our marriage has been dead for years -I wish I was with you instead of on the carribrean vacation with my wife and kids -you're the only one who understands me Bolded one just amazes me, really what the WS is saying is, your the only person I don't feel like crap with because of what we're doing. Negative Reenforcing 1
aileD Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 Bolded one just amazes me, really what the WS is saying is, your the only person I don't feel like crap with because of what we're doing. Negative Reenforcing That and "you don't call me out for being a dink and hurting everyone like my family and friends do, you agree with everything I do, so you're safe to be around"
deep_night Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 - we're just friends (with the "ex") - i dont love her (the "ex"), i love you - im just being nice to her (a "friend") cos she has connections (he did use her connections, but not as her friend) - she's not as pretty as you (a "friend") - WHO SAYS THESE INSULTING THINGS AND WANTS TO RUIN OUR HAPPINESS? (lol) - sex with her (the "friend") was terrible (after i made him confess) 1
Revolver Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 I think we should see other people/we need a break to figure things out 95% of the time they are already sleeping with the new person but just now got the courage to tell you and hope you get the message 1
jen1447 Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 I've had some really tortured rationalizations that weren't really lines, more like essays. Like "it would be a form of vindication for me to cheat w you bc I was treated unfairly by my brother as a child and that caused me to have resentment for my future wife, and altho I'd never hurt her, sleeping w someone else will allow me to move on from the pain so I can love her better and be a good husband, so don't do this for me, do it for my wife, but she can't know so it would need to be kept secret but what she doesn't know won't hurt her anyway, and also if you turn me down I can't guarantee I won't say sth to your BF bc this is too big to keep to myself and it'd be unfair to him so you better keep that in mind bc it takes two to tango and you're in this deep already whether you like it or not. btw my name's Jim, nice to meet you." 2
MissBee Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 "We're basically roommates..." "We just met each other at the wrong time..." "We don't have sex" 3
elaine567 Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 "We don't have sex" ..and I am sleeping in the guest room... 4
Gloria25 Posted August 25, 2016 Posted August 25, 2016 For me, it's not what they said, it's what they did. Like choosing to let their ex-wife take them out on their birthday when I'm who is dating them. The excuse for this "Well, we just always spend birthdays together this whole time." Yeah. And then you divorced. Unbelievable. They can't go to something you'd normally go do together, like a concert for a band you both like. I ended up sitting right behind him and a date when I didn't even know he was dating anyone else. Then I had one who said I love you in the heat of passion and then immediately upon release took it back. All bad signs... Umm, I could see a married couple who were married for years, had kids and divorced amicably still meeting up to celebrate a birthday. I mean, some people, although divorced have a tight bond - just like two friends would. Shoot, the fact that they were such good "friends" and probably devolved into "roommates" is why they divorced. Can't romance your "friend" and "roommate". So nah, I wouldn't automatically assume cheating. Oh wow, dude blew plans with you and ended up taking another woman to that thing he was supposed to do with you ? Saying "ILY" in the heat of passion doesn't equate cheating to me. We all say crazy stuff in the moment
SammySammy Posted August 25, 2016 Posted August 25, 2016 "He's not good in bed." "He never makes an effort to satisfy me." "He takes me for granted." "I love you." "I'll never hurt you." 2
Gloria25 Posted August 25, 2016 Posted August 25, 2016 (edited) Regardless of married, single, etc: "My friend is coming in town to see me" (yea, says "friend" instead of John, Smith, Chad).Whenever a guy uses a non-gender term to describe someone, like someone he's having lunch with, just called him, a co-worker - instead of saying the person's name, guaranteed it's a female. "We'll catch up later" (even though you haven't seen him in X too many days) "I'm tired" (Men never are too tired to have sex. I once had sex with a guy who had a migraine, and "he" wanted it, migraine and all). "I think we should slow things down" (especially if he means having sex with you). "Sorry, my phone was off/broke/dead/lost" (yeah, cuz he turned it off when he was with her). "I'm working late". "It's just flirting". "Are you cheating on me?" (A classic. A cheater is usually paranoid that you're doing the same thing they are doing to you. So, they irrationally accuse "you" of cheating) To an OW: "My wife just doesn't understand me, you do" "I can't leave my wife, she's mentally ill/an addict/helpless/clueless. She needs me" "Wife wanted sex, I turned her down cuz I was thinking of you" "You're the only OW that I'm seeing" (yeah, right) If I think of more, I'll come back. Edited August 25, 2016 by Gloria25 3
Author wmacbride Posted August 25, 2016 Author Posted August 25, 2016 Those marks are from my cat. That's a good one:laugh::laugh: 1
Shining One Posted August 25, 2016 Posted August 25, 2016 That's a good one:laugh::laugh:Yep. I was impressed when the cat later made a thick ring around both her legs just above the ankles. 1
cocorico Posted August 25, 2016 Posted August 25, 2016 "My wife is not a bad person. She just had a bad childhood." 1
Author wmacbride Posted August 25, 2016 Author Posted August 25, 2016 Yep. I was impressed when the cat later made a thick ring around both her legs just above the ankles. wow, that is one talented cat 1
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