First Relationship Should I stay or should I go?

[LegalGirl2009]

Hi all, I am new to this. I am 25 years old. I have been dating my boyfriend for about 2 years now and this is my first real relationship. Our relationship has had its ups and downs but nothing too crazy. We live together with my mother (not very ideal, I know). I have a job but he does not and is having a hard time finding one. So as of right now he is dependent on me and even my mother sometimes. I love him very much but I do not get the emotional attention I want from him. Personally, I need to hear him say how much he loves me from time to time. I rarely get compliments from him either but I know he does love me. When I get compliments from strangers or guy friends, I am overly happy. I know I shouldn't seek attention from others but it's hard for me not to when I get nothing from my SO. It is starting to feel like a friendship and not a relationship. I have voiced my frustration numerous times but he hates talking about these types of things so it's almost impossible to get a real conversation out of him. My birthday is in a few days too and I've never got to spend it with him (the first, he messed up and the second, he was away because of work). But now he has no job or money. I am not looking for an extravagant gift but effort. I'm worried he won't do anything because he knows my family and friends will take care of me. We have talked about a future together, marriage and children, and I am positive he wants to stay with me. But I have no interest in getting married any time soon. Should this tell me that I should move on? Please be nice.

[Gloria25]

You're 25, you have a whole life ahead of you.

 

Me, my panties don't get wet for some guy who has to have me and my mom support him.

 

He's not going to medical/legal school, he's not working. He has no reason to not be on his own. And, he should respect your mom's home and sleep on her couch...not get the benefit of sharing a bed with "you" without having a dime to his name.

 

Love? For me love is admiration, respect, awe. I would find it extremely difficult to "love" someone who ina man's world, would sit around and allow a woman and her mother to provide food and shelter for me.

 

You know, my favorite podcaster had a call yesterday. She asked the woman if she considered it a "compliment" that some guy wanted to move in with her w/o marriage.

 

So, I must ask is it a compliment when a guy wants to move in with you and has no job, nothing going on and expecting you and your mom to work and pay bills? Please tell me at least he cooks, cleans, washes and you and mum just have to bring home the bacon?

[SincereOnlineGuy]

First Relationship Should I stay or should I go?

 

 

 

I was first going to ask the Spongebob Magic 8-ball for the answer you seek, but I read your entire thread, and I have to start by saying that I am leaning quite far toward suggesting that you break with the familiarity, which is about the only thing really keeping you together (aside from his dependence ON you)... and initiate a break-up.

 

It is more than reasonable that some guy not out there busting his butt to afford to maintain a life with you, should at least be completely open to meeting your emotional needs.

 

That he doesn't even have time for THAT, is a huge alarm!

 

 

Now, the Spongebob Magic 8-ball says the following when asked if you should stay or go:

 

 

"Right"

[BaileyB]

You are so young, you still have so much life to live and many opportunities.

 

The things that are concerning are the fact that he can't support himself, he is not affectionate (you have settled into a very comfortable, "friends and roommates" relationship, and he won't talk with you or make any attempt to change the situation when you tell him that you are unhappy.

 

Yeah, I don't think this is a relationship that will go the distance and bring you what you want. For it to really work, you need a partner who is committed to you and the relationship - you deserve nothing less! It doesn't really sound like you feel that you have this right now. I would probably break with him.

 

I wish you all the best.