Lois_Griffin Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 Okay, so I sent a text this morning a couple of hours ago and my iphone kept saying "not delivered" and that there was a problem with my network this morning. I kept trying to resend but to no avail. The problem is, i tried testing this with my dad's phone only to find out he received my text 15 or so times. So now this girl is going to get my text 10+ times!! I haven't had a reply from her, so maybe she hasn't received any lf them. She's always responded even if I've replied a simpe "Haha". Dear god, this is sure to put her off. What would you guys assume if you received the same text 10 times in the space of 15 minutes? Why are you so damned afraid to TALK on the phone? You keep talking about 'conversations' and 'talking' with her and all you've done is type to each other like 16 year old teenagers. You haven't TALKED yet and you haven't had a CONVERSATION yet. Just freakin' CALL her like men have had to do since the dawn of time, before cell phones turned them all into keyboard cowards.
Popsicle Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 Okay, so I sent a text this morning a couple of hours ago and my iphone kept saying "not delivered" and that there was a problem with my network this morning. I kept trying to resend but to no avail. The problem is, i tried testing this with my dad's phone only to find out he received my text 15 or so times. So now this girl is going to get my text 10+ times!! I haven't had a reply from her, so maybe she hasn't received any lf them. She's always responded even if I've replied a simpe "Haha". Dear god, this is sure to put her off. What would you guys assume if you received the same text 10 times in the space of 15 minutes? If I liked him enough I wouldn't mind. I'm sure you explained that your phone wasn't working.
Author fmfan08 Posted August 24, 2016 Author Posted August 24, 2016 If I liked him enough I wouldn't mind. I'm sure you explained that your phone wasn't working. I've not bothered to send anything else in case the problem persists. She'll be at work so if she did receive this spam of texts she probably won't reply until after work. I'll give it until late evening when it should be fixed by then and just drop a text apologising if she got my text a hundred times this morning saying my phone wasn't working.
BaileyB Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 Just tell her you had some technical difficulties with your phone - it wouldn't bother me at all.
Kamille Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 My thoughts on why she disabled her OKC account: she realized she wasn't in a condition to meet people (because of shyness or the leg). She's on a dating site and refusing to meet men on dates. Everyone is better off with her disabling her account until she can meet in person. As for your situation: have you asked her when she foresees being able to go out on a date? 1
Author fmfan08 Posted August 24, 2016 Author Posted August 24, 2016 My thoughts on why she disabled her OKC account: she realized she wasn't in a condition to meet people (because of shyness or the leg). She's on a dating site and refusing to meet men on dates. Everyone is better off with her disabling her account until she can meet in person. As for your situation: have you asked her when she foresees being able to go out on a date? I plan to do this tonight at a time when I know she finishes work. Will mention about my phone messing up then ask her when the conversation is at a high to get the best response. As for your opinion on her disabling her account, that makes sense. Her leg came out of a cast last Thursday and she was worried about meeting me whilst she still had problems walking and worried about any weight gained. I guess maybe she didn't want that affecting her appearance? Thing is I'm not a shallow person. If a girl is decent and takes pride in herself but we click in terms of personality, then that's fine for me. Maybe she thinks I'm a shallow person? I don't know whether I should clarify to her that I am not shallow.
Kamille Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 I plan to do this tonight at a time when I know she finishes work. Will mention about my phone messing up then ask her when the conversation is at a high to get the best response. As for your opinion on her disabling her account, that makes sense. Her leg came out of a cast last Thursday and she was worried about meeting me whilst she still had problems walking and worried about any weight gained. I guess maybe she didn't want that affecting her appearance? Thing is I'm not a shallow person. If a girl is decent and takes pride in herself but we click in terms of personality, then that's fine for me. Maybe she thinks I'm a shallow person? I don't know whether I should clarify to her that I am not shallow. I think you're overthinking a few things. Remember that you haven't met her or spoken to her in person yet. Chemistry can be quite different in person. Ask to meet her and if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. Your job right now isn't to reassure her about her insecurities. You can certainly let it be known that you don't care about a few extra pounds and are understanding about her injury. But that's it. You don't have to prove you're not shallow. She so far has very little information to go on (she is delaying meeting you!). She shouldn't be making assumptions about you. 1
Author fmfan08 Posted August 24, 2016 Author Posted August 24, 2016 I think you're overthinking a few things. Remember that you haven't met her or spoken to her in person yet. Chemistry can be quite different in person. Ask to meet her and if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. Your job right now isn't to reassure her about her insecurities. You can certainly let it be known that you don't care about a few extra pounds and are understanding about her injury. But that's it. You don't have to prove you're not shallow. She so far has very little information to go on (she is delaying meeting you!). She shouldn't be making assumptions about you. Fair point! Now we've spoken for nearly two weeks, I won't take her "wanting to get to know me more before meeting" as an excuse seeing as we've been lighting up each other's phones 99% of that time. She seems perfectly comfortable in her texting now to suggest meeting up. Her leg might be dodgy and she could be worried it might change my opinion about any future dates with her, but if she's still unable to understand that I don't see that as a problem then what do I say then? Would I tell her that it looks like we both want different things and that we should stop here? I've never known how to deal with these situations.
Author fmfan08 Posted August 24, 2016 Author Posted August 24, 2016 Turns out she never received anything which was okay, but then she said my texts were sending twice and we laughed about it. Had a bit of conversation, teasing, banter, etc. Her replies were quite instant but as it was getting late we replied every 15 or so minutes.. She was excited about something at work that was happening next week so I commented on it and then asked if she was free next week to get a coffee only if she was comfortable in meeting (as she initially wanted to get to know me first). I sent that at 9:30pm and it's now heading towards 11pm. I thought maybe she'd have gone sleep but she'd usually end the conversation. Meh, it seems clear she doesn't want to meet and probably not interested. Of all replies she chose not to answer to. I did notice a change in her attitude on Monday though (the day she disabled her OKCupid profile), as her replies seemed shorter than usual. She'd reply really quickly and ask the odd question, still use emoji's, but they weren't 2-3 lines like the others and to me they seemed a little less enthusiastic but still decently enthusiastic. Maybe she prefers someone else and was just being polite in replying back to me. Shame.. I could be overthinking this like I did with the other things but I'll delete her number if I get no answer by the end of tomorrow.
Gaeta Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 It has nothing to do with you I assure you. She would have done the same thing no matter who. I insist: She was not honest when she introduced herself to you. Now she has to face her lies or disappear. She is picking the path of lease resistance ..... Didn't I tell you up there that she would do exactly that! Trust me, it has nothing to do with you. 1
Author fmfan08 Posted August 24, 2016 Author Posted August 24, 2016 It has nothing to do with you I assure you. She would have done the same thing no matter who. I insist: She was not honest when she introduced herself to you. Now she has to face her lies or disappear. She is picking the path of lease resistance ..... Didn't I tell you up there that she would do exactly that! Trust me, it has nothing to do with you. You're right, but I've always been a chancer. If people say it's going to end badly, I suppose I chance it to see if it ends up not being a bad idea. Plus, you get to learn those mistakes primarily. I'm not sending any further messages if she cannot be bothered replying. I have attempted inviting her out twice now to no avail.. What if a few days pass by and she gets back in touch? Should I completely ignore? Or should I just politely respond, acting like nothing has happened but not further the conversation?
Gaeta Posted August 25, 2016 Posted August 25, 2016 What if a few days pass by and she gets back in touch? Should I completely ignore? Or should I just politely respond, acting like nothing has happened but not further the conversation? Is this the type of behavior you want in a partner? I think you should just not answer and move on but that is easier said than done. If she gets back to you than pick up where you left off. You sent her an invitation to meet and you want an answer. Do not get side tracked here, the objective is to meet in person. It was never your intention to get acquainted on text right? So don't participate in her little game. Set a date, set it asap, if you feel any resistance on her part move on.
Author fmfan08 Posted August 25, 2016 Author Posted August 25, 2016 Is this the type of behavior you want in a partner? I think you should just not answer and move on but that is easier said than done. If she gets back to you than pick up where you left off. You sent her an invitation to meet and you want an answer. Do not get side tracked here, the objective is to meet in person. It was never your intention to get acquainted on text right? So don't participate in her little game. Set a date, set it asap, if you feel any resistance on her part move on. So when I said I asked her if she'd be free next week to meet up, I didn't suggest a particular day because I do not have my rota/work schedule for next week and was unable to give a specific day. She got back to me three hours later at half past midnight saying "I'll let you know x". To me that means not interested, but the last girl I dated who was hispanic always said the same.. That was because her hours, like mine always changed every week whereas this current girl works a 9-5 job so I can't understand her wanting to let me know other than her politely letting me down. She must have met someone else then. Should I avoid replying to this and just assume that I'll be waiting for her to get back to me, even though it's obviously a load of bs?
Author fmfan08 Posted September 4, 2016 Author Posted September 4, 2016 Update: I'll go into detail tomorrow, but we're going on a date this Thursday and miraculously she seems really into me. After she sent that "I'll let you know", I went no contact for about 5 days and sent her a message saying that I assumed she didn't want to meet a stranger and I understood that, but I would like to continue to get to know her and we could talk over text until she was ready. Then I said that if it wasn't what she wanted I'd hope she does well in her job and her future. It got a really positive response from her and she's been lighting up my phone since. You know when you're 100% sure they're into you and have no doubts? I now feel like this. PUA/Don Juans would have told me not to pursue her "I'll let you know" message and it would have lost me the chance to date her. Hopefully it goes well in person.
Teknoe Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 Update: I'll go into detail tomorrow, but we're going on a date this Thursday and miraculously she seems really into me. After she sent that "I'll let you know", I went no contact for about 5 days and sent her a message saying that I assumed she didn't want to meet a stranger and I understood that, but I would like to continue to get to know her and we could talk over text until she was ready. Then I said that if it wasn't what she wanted I'd hope she does well in her job and her future. It got a really positive response from her and she's been lighting up my phone since. You know when you're 100% sure they're into you and have no doubts? I now feel like this. PUA/Don Juans would have told me not to pursue her "I'll let you know" message and it would have lost me the chance to date her. Hopefully it goes well in person. Gotta be honest: I wish you well but I don't see this turning out well for you as it regards to this girl. Just too many red flags and hoops. Loving and lasting relationships aren't THIS hard. Again, I hope you guys prove me wrong and go on to have an amazing relationship, but I feel like this has bad vibes written all over it. Best wishes.
Kamille Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 Update: I'll go into detail tomorrow, but we're going on a date this Thursday and miraculously she seems really into me. After she sent that "I'll let you know", I went no contact for about 5 days and sent her a message saying that I assumed she didn't want to meet a stranger and I understood that, but I would like to continue to get to know her and we could talk over text until she was ready. Then I said that if it wasn't what she wanted I'd hope she does well in her job and her future. It got a really positive response from her and she's been lighting up my phone since. You know when you're 100% sure they're into you and have no doubts? I now feel like this. PUA/Don Juans would have told me not to pursue her "I'll let you know" message and it would have lost me the chance to date her. Hopefully it goes well in person. You have no idea what the chemistry will be like in person. You might not like her. She might be completely different in person. She might be warming up by text but completely awkward in person. Don't get too invested until date #2. Your first date is a meeting to see if you like each other. Date 2 is when you can generally start assuming there's a romantic interest. Even then it's a crap shoot because... and I say this as a woman... For women, attraction is tricky.
tomtheman1234 Posted September 4, 2016 Posted September 4, 2016 I tried Internet dating a few year ago but did not meet anyone on my wave length. Last Christmas moved to a new area and have just decided to give Internet dating another try. This time I have met a few people that are on my wave length. But I feel it's all very well messaging someone on the net. I feel if you both click with each other you should try and meet up as soon as you can. You might both think you are right for each other then meet up and find out your not right for each other or you might meet up and think what a great couple we will make once we really get to know each other and it's the start of something great. If you keep texting for a long time you might be wasting your time for nothing. But it you ask for a date and she is not saying yes and making up a few excuses then you have the right to wonder what's going on. I am a bit like you where I tend to over think things. Let's hope you get a date with this girl.
Author fmfan08 Posted September 9, 2016 Author Posted September 9, 2016 We had our date tonight and it went really well, as far as I was concerned. She kept updating me when she'd get there and when she did and approached me, we seemed to click but I admit I was a little nervous at first. Even when we sat down in the restaurant I was like that, but I then got comfortable. We were making jokes and talking about each other. She kept touching her hair and making physical contact with my hand, I held her hand and commented on her bracelet. During that conversation at the restaurant, she mentioned about this particular Harry Potter event in London (as we were on the topic and both liked it) and she mentioned she'd been there four times and suggested that we should go to it if I were interested. We missed our planned movie time (don't usually like movies on first dates but we did have time to talk and she wanted to watch it) so she suggested playing some air hockey, etc until the movie was on. Anyway, as we left the restaurant, she linked her arm around mine so I went to hold her hand instead, she reciprocated (usually I wouldn't on a first date, but she texted me hinting/joking that I should hold her hand). We watched the movie and I put my arm around her, she cuddled up to me and then after we walked to her car, she drove me home and we ended up kissing for a couple of minutes. She texted me within ten minutes of me leaving and said "It was great to see you I've enjoyed this evening and thank you for coming :D". Then she sent a second text saying "(Just hope you've not gone off me)" adding some emoji. I replied, she replied to that, then she sent a second text saying "And you've fell asleep on me xxxx" as I didn't have phone on me. So.. I suppose she must still have some interest me if she's double texting to try and get my attention. I'll see how it goes but she does seem keen which is a nice change from chasing girls who are hard to get. I know that 5 or so months ago she had a bad breakup and she wanted someone who was willing to give her a chance and not give up so easily.
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