OLD - Noticing imcompatibilities early

[Mikau]

I've been OLD on OkCupid, and they offer a series of questions they base your matching percentage on. Usually, if I see a profile I like, I skim these questions for basic incompatibilities.

 

I forgot to do that with this one girl, we start off talking and hit it off somewhat. Upon reviewing her profile I notice she answered some questions (about sex and her sex drive) in a way that is potentially incompatible with me. For example, on the question of how much you'd want to have sex ideally she answered 'a few times a month or less', whereas I have a rather high sex drive.

 

This got me wondering, how people react to things they see on profiles that possibly or probably would mean serious incompatibility issues. Sex drive comes to mind, as does wanting children, wanting to get married, political and other values, etc.

 

Do you guys not write to or respond to people who have these things on their profile, or do you treat it more as 'real' dating. After all, if you meet somebody in real life it might take several dates to months before these things potentially come up.

 

I'm asking both in general terms, and if this is something that would stop you from meeting somebody over OLD in this particular case.

[Gaeta]

Usually if someone messaged me and I noticed something the matter in their profile I would just ask them. I'd say: I notice you said ABC in your profile would you tell me more about it.

 

Then if it was really too far from my goals I'd pass.

[Mikau]

I would normally do something similar, but with the subject sex it feels incredibly awkward. I don't think I can just go 'oh I notice you don't like sex. What's up with that?'.

[Gr8fuln2020]

One never really knows of some compatibility issues. For sex, I simply put that I enjoy it into my profile. So, at least, a woman who is not as interested may balk from responding or contacting me. I rarely go back and read the individual questions. Hmmmm....perhaps I should.