Atticus9292012 Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 I have been casually seeing this guy for a few weeks now. We'll call him Al. We have a lot of mutual friends. I met him at a birthday party for a friend. A little back story that brings me to this question..... I went with him to an outdoor music festival in my city. At said festival he made plans with me for the following Saturday. I had to take my son to an event and told him I'd get with him once I took my son back to his fathers but definitely wanted to get together. I normally don't have my son on the weekends so this was a little out of my normal routine. I contacted Al....gave him about 2 hours and he never responded to me. I was a little peeved, but oh well. I made other plans. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt that maybe something came up so I gave it a few days. After no contact for a few days, I sent a text basically telling him I thought it was crappy to blow someone off and he could have just told me he had other plans or didn't want to see me again. He responded with a quick "I'm sorry this is so embarrassing, but who is this? My phone got stolen this weekend and I don't remember having plans with anyone. I'm so sorry." I responded that it was me and we exchanged a few messages and he remembered we had plans. He apologized profusely and he just spaced because of everything that happened that weekend. I mean how could he have contacted me anyway? Apparently a bunch of his stuff got stolen and he had quite a mess to deal with. He told me he really liked me and did really want to see me again. I accepted this and decided to give him another chance. Well this past Saturday night he texted me about hanging out last night. He told me that he got off at 3 and had a work function he was trying to blow off, but might not be able to. He said if he couldn't, he'd make an appearance and then we could do something. I texted him yesterday morning suggesting we do something that a friend told me about. He sent me a text basically telling me, "I'm sorry but I'm strapped for cash and have to go to this work thing, but let me know when you're done with that." I was really surprised by this message because it seemed inconsistent with what he had said the night before. The whole reason I told him about it, was so we could go together. I responded with "that didn't occur to you last night when you asked me to hang out?" We messaged back and forth and it seemed like we were not communicating. I told him I was sorry I think I misunderstood him and took what he said as him canceling on me when he made the money comment. No response. I woke up in the middle of the night and still nothing. I sent a text essentially saying that I like him, but I didn't like being dicked around and blown off. I explained again I took what he said as him cancelling so I may have misunderstood. I said I felt blown off and was dissapointed because I looked forward to seeing him. I said it just kind of seemed that maybe we weren't on the same page with things. He hasn't responded. I keep thinking that maybe I overreacted. I deleted his number so I don't text him again....sigh
Miss Clavel Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 I have been casually seeing this guy for a few weeks now. We'll call him Al. We have a lot of mutual friends. I met him at a birthday party for a friend. A little back story that brings me to this question..... I went with him to an outdoor music festival in my city. At said festival he made plans with me for the following Saturday. I had to take my son to an event and told him I'd get with him once I took my son back to his fathers but definitely wanted to get together. I normally don't have my son on the weekends so this was a little out of my normal routine. I contacted Al....gave him about 2 hours and he never responded to me. I was a little peeved, but oh well. I made other plans. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt that maybe something came up so I gave it a few days. After no contact for a few days, I sent a text basically telling him I thought it was crappy to blow someone off and he could have just told me he had other plans or didn't want to see me again. He responded with a quick "I'm sorry this is so embarrassing, but who is this? My phone got stolen this weekend and I don't remember having plans with anyone. I'm so sorry." I responded that it was me and we exchanged a few messages and he remembered we had plans. He apologized profusely and he just spaced because of everything that happened that weekend. I mean how could he have contacted me anyway? Apparently a bunch of his stuff got stolen and he had quite a mess to deal with. He told me he really liked me and did really want to see me again. I accepted this and decided to give him another chance. Well this past Saturday night he texted me about hanging out last night. He told me that he got off at 3 and had a work function he was trying to blow off, but might not be able to. He said if he couldn't, he'd make an appearance and then we could do something. I texted him yesterday morning suggesting we do something that a friend told me about. He sent me a text basically telling me, "I'm sorry but I'm strapped for cash and have to go to this work thing, but let me know when you're done with that." I was really surprised by this message because it seemed inconsistent with what he had said the night before. The whole reason I told him about it, was so we could go together. I responded with "that didn't occur to you last night when you asked me to hang out?"I deleted his number so I don't text him again....sigh he doesn't want to date you. go places with you. "let me know when you're done with that" is code for, i wanna "hook-up", "hang" and bang you at your place, for free. let his number stay deleted. his loss.
kendahke Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 Yes you over-reacted. I disagree with him being flaky or not wanting to date you. He's single and still getting to know you, so him having other girls he's seeing isn't a problem--he doesn't owe you exclusivity after only one date. His stuff just got stolen--that on its own is a complete mind-eff. His phone needs replacing--I just had to replace my phone and it's a massive financial inconvenience, let alone a social inconvenience. Anyone who texted me was asked "who is this?" because I do not memorize anyone's phone number anymore. Well this past Saturday night he texted me about hanging out last night. He told me that he got off at 3 and had a work function he was trying to blow off, but might not be able to. He said if he couldn't, he'd make an appearance and then we could do something. I texted him yesterday morning suggesting we do something that a friend told me about. Neither of you made concrete plans. Suggesting isn't the same as confirming a time to meet up, etc., especially when you already knew he may not be able to get out of his work function.
TXGuy Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 I think he is just financially strapped right now (he said so). The stolen phone didn't help matters. He suggested hanging out (free). You suggested some activity (likely costly and most women expect man to pay for both, at least himself). what you suggested either cost money or was something he wasn't interested in. He offered to get together after you went to your event, but you had no interest in that. You then attacked him for canceling plans, but he didn't cancel plans. He gave you options to get together, but you refused. And then got snippy about it. It looks like you two aren't compatible. 1
mortensorchid Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 Assuming that he was/is telling the truth about his phone and other things being stolen, yes I think you did overreact. However, he's obviously being casual about your relationship as well, such as it is. Move on if you want something more serious, plus you have also blown your chances with him at something casual.
Lois_Griffin Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 LOL...if y'all believe his phony baloney story about his phone being stolen then I have some oceanfront property in Kansas I'd like to sell you. I think he was hoping to do a slow fade but when you called him out for his sh*t behavior and told him it was crappy of him to blow you off the way he did, he came back with that nonsense excuse about his stuff being stolen to save face, and because he doesn't want you telling all your mutual friends what a DB he is. And then pretending he'd forgotten about your date after you had to 'identify' yourself to him - because yannow, he had a 'new' phone and all, was just more bullsh*t to excuse away the fact that he'd basically blown you off and was being called out for it. Neither of you made concrete plans. Wrong. His exact words to her were: " He said if he couldn't, he'd make an appearance and then we could do something." This guy is a waste of your time. Keep his number deleted.
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