Guy disappears and then texts me but is he trying to intentionally make me upset?

[codelock]

So to give some context, I went out with a guy casually for just over 2 months. We didn't get intimate so our dates usually were about 5 hours long. Anyway about 2 months ago, he essentially ghosted me which was upsetting at first because I had started to develop feelings for him. Our last date was karaoke at a bar (my idea) and he had happily agreed to it. Yet during the last date he told me had no intention of participating/singing and had asked me to sing really good for him. I do comedy for fun and karaoke for me is more fun when sung badly and just having a laugh. I told him that I was just going to sing badly and have fun. I was also disappointed that he didn't want to sing too since it felt weird we were doing that as a date. In a nutshell, we went, I sung intentionally badly and he clearly was upset that I didn't choose to sing good for him. By the way, this guy is not in the music industry and just has a natural love of music so I didn't understand why he was so upset that I didn't intentionally sing good.

 

Okay so after this date he ghosts me. I texted him saying "how have you been?" and well he never replied to me for a month and a half until yesterday. Nothing bad happened between us so there's no reason for him to hold a grudge against me.

 

Here's the exact texts.

His first text out of the blue says, "Do you hate me?"

I reply, "No, why?"

He says," Have you done karaoke recently?" he also sends this text at 6am which is kind of rude timing and thankfully I didn't wake up although my phone was not on silent.

I reply, "no, you?

He says, "In the future you should try to sing at your best. Karaoke is fun but it's a waste of talent and your talent. I'm sure you are a good singer I guess."

At this point I'm pissed, and craft a nice reply but curt that essentially says, "I think karaoke is not designed for just good singers and is just for fun and having a laugh. It's not about impressing people with your singing skills. Why take life so seriously. Clearly karaoke is not for you."

He replied with an emoticon of the thumbs up button.

I have not replied and will never reply.

 

I've had guys get in touch before but usually it's the boring, hey how you have been, a few exchanges later and that's it. I don't see why this guy contacts me out of the blue just to be rude like that. He didn't ask how I was or anything, just made that comment which clearly was critiquing the last date and my performance. I just think it's pretty mean and I haven't let it ruin my day but I like to see the best in people, and I'm disappointed that I dated a guy who would just intentionally try to be rude like that for no reason. I'm also surprised he said that after he had sent a text asking if I hate him. I was thinking he'd asked that cause he wanted to apologize or explain his behavior, but apparently not...Why would a guy do that?

Edited August 22, 2016 by codelock

[Mkn1010]

Hrmm that is extremely bizarre behavior from him! One of the weirder stories I've heard! It seems like you, on the other hand, dealt with things extremely well, including him ghosting! Maybe he'd actually been thinking about that karaoke night for the next month and perhaps he was nowhere near as confident as you (ie couldn't even get up to have a go) that he had to find a way to have a stab! That coupled with that fact that you seemed very unphased by his ghosting... Could be why he asked if you hate him, needed validation that you were hurt by it .... Really weird!!

[Toodaloo]

Don't even worry about it. Who knows and more to the point who cares what is going through his mind? Ultimate question is does it matter? The answer to which is a resounding no!

 

He ghosted after a couple of months which is just plain rude then he has come back to insinuate that singing badly and joking about isn't "good enough"...

 

Forget it. Its really not worth your time or bother. He has shown he has poor manners, and to top it off that he is insecure. Its all you need to know so let him go and go and have some fun singing very out of tune and in very silly voices. At least then you will be smiling and not worried about this guy...!