Shygal26 Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 I typically don't believe you can fall in love with someone when you first meet them but I'm facing a small dilemma Over this past weekend, I went out with a few girlfriends of mine. We went to a popular club in downtown Chicago and danced the night away. I wasn't really trying to meet anyone however I noticed a man looking at me. At first, I ignored him but then I look at him again and he comes over to me. I was taken back by how gorgeous he was. We started dancing and having fun and really connecting. At one point, girls tried to talk to him but he ignores them and continues to talk to me. Unfortunately, I had been drinking a lot and was dealing with a bad breakup a few months prior so I allowed myself to get the best of me. I become upset and leave the bar. The next morning, my friends tell me that he was looking all over for me that night and was upset that I had left. I had completely forgotten his name and only thing I had remembered was where he went to school. Luckily my friend was speaking with his friend the entire night and based off the informtation, I was able to find him on Facebook. I friend requested him and send a message apologizing for my behavior and asking to reconnect at a later date. He accepts my friend request but hasn't read the message as of yet. What do I do? I feel very strongly about this guy and I barely even know him. Unfortunately he lives in California (I live in Chicago) but i don't know..I am feeling some type of way. A way I never really felt before.
preraph Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 Honestly, unless he saw you, he might not even remember you. He probably detected your attraction and was interested in having sex or whatever. Love at first sight without really talking is just physical attraction. We see someone that we can envision as one of our "ideal men" that we keep in our head, but that doesn't mean they are really like that. They just look good. Anyway, you need to get control over your flaking like you did that night before you're ready to find your ideal guy, right?
kivan3x Posted August 26, 2016 Posted August 26, 2016 when I read the OP's original post I was taken away by the potential romance of it all: YES! that's it! you've found the one! chase him! find him! but then reading preraph's very sensible and most probably correct advice, it brought me back down to earth. but how about a bit of both? you never know and you'll never know til you try and find out. i.e. keep up the FB lead, and see where it goes. .. I met a girl in a queue of a club a few years ago. I was by myself and minding my own business but she pounced on me! and oh she seemed to really like me and that doesn't happen every year, and she was so fun and gorgeous and we got on so well. Anyway, we get through the queue, but then she's caught up and hanging back with her friends, and I'm kinda waiting, but then feel awkward and creepy, and figure I'll see her later in the club so I go through. The club is massive, I find my friends, get drunk, and never see her again. the first thing I see in my mind's eye when I wake up the next day is her beautiful face. FACE PALM. I tried every tenuous lead I could think of to find her online.. Emily.. Emilia.. self proclaimed **** poet.. on the Facebook page for the club night.. but no leads. Well I should've worried less about ungentlemanliness and just creepily waited until she came through because she did say she wanted to go for a drink with me, but then I figured fate probably saved me from an 8 year relationship from hell.
Shanex Posted August 26, 2016 Posted August 26, 2016 People go to clubs to get laid. Why would women wear fabulous there? Why would guy too along with the flagrances and perfumes etc. Sure, you can easily get laid if you are a woman and it's what you are looking for at the moment, yet it can lead to a LTR, or marriage. This still happens.. But generally speaking, clubs are basically the hookup scene main place. Only talking about single men and women in clubs tho, there are couple or groups of friends that go there for whatever celebrations. Or just because they enjoy partying there. Love at first sight? I think this is a bit presumptuous in this context. Clubs from experience aren't the glamour places you could think of, like meeting the guy in the park or at the pool in vacations, you know? Whatever floats your boat. It's entirely possible he just wants to hookup but that's a blind assumption so far.. Judge a man by his actions, rather than his yadayadayada.. Good luck.
Romantic Gentleman Posted August 26, 2016 Posted August 26, 2016 Speaking from a guys POV here. As stated in Shanex's post, many guys do go to bars/clubs to get laid, but there are a handful of guys that are looking for "The One" If he doesn't message you back, no biggy, I promise there will always be someone else!
kivan3x Posted August 26, 2016 Posted August 26, 2016 I go to (or used to go to) clubs to have fun with my friends, and for the music and dancing, never with the explicit aim of getting laid, and that was the same for my friends and felt so for most of the people there. we were there for the music. attraction and interaction incidental. but I guess it depends on the kind of club...
Bufo Posted August 28, 2016 Posted August 28, 2016 Shygal I have a brilliant idea. Turn your experience into a pop song and get rich! Think of all the pop songs written on the theme of love at first sight. The theme sells. Cash in on it. This one, however, is approaching the realm of fantasy. Chicago and California are geographically undesirable. He hasn't bothered to read your FB messages yet. That connotes a certain indifference on his part. You fled the scene so he may think of you as slightly off. Or not interested. Ever see the "crazy eyes" episode of How I Met Your Mother? Maybe you should chalk this one up to experience.
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