theDude Posted July 4, 2005 Posted July 4, 2005 So yeah, there's this nice girl, whom I will call Samantha. I had testimony from a mutual friend that she liked me, and that granted me the confidence to produce a somewhat awkward request for her number ("Hey, er... do you have a phone?" "Yes." "Oh. I see. (pause) What's your number?"). All last week I was in a situation where I saw her every day (we were both caring for children participating in the local Vacation Bible School program), and I finally got her number on the last day (Friday). Now, I don't know her really well, and I'm not sure where to go with this. When should I call her? Well, actually... it's probably a bit late for that question, since my gut reaction tells me to follow the three-day rule (wait 3 days after initially getting her number before calling), which would mean I call her tomorrow, and that, I suppose, is what I'm going to do unless there are some very timely replies to this thread suggesting something to the contrary. Then I wonder if I should go ahead and ask her to do something. My gut reaction again tells me to talk to her for awhile first (gut reaction has absolutely no idea what we can talk about, unfortunately) before suggesting something vaguely date-sounding, but not definitive and absolute, like "We should hang out sometime. Do something original, like see a movie." Next, I wonder if it should be just us on the "date", or if I should invite my friends and tell her to invite hers. I'm worried that things might be slightly awkward if it's just us. But we have few mutual friends, most of them not terribly close to either of us and not invite-able in a date situation, and I'm worried that if we each invite our good friends then our collective group will be bisected into "her" group of friends and "mine", rather than the two groups assimilating into one large happy togetherness group. Lastly I wonder what moves, if any, I should make on her on the "date". According to the mutual friend mentioned at the beginning of this post, Samantha thinks I'm "hot" and "wants" me. That gives me the impression that some physical-ness is acceptable, expected even. However, I'm not sure I've ever touched her at all, even bumped into her, before. This drastic change in... uh... level of physical contact?... may make things uncomfortable or awkward for her, or at least that's what my pessimistic worst-situation-possible side keeps telling me. If she IS comfortable with a certain level of physicality, how high is that level? Do I just hug her? Peck her on the cheek? On the lips? Give her a real kiss? French her? If we're in a dark, quiet place like a movie, do I put my arm around her in the theater? If we make out, can I try for a feelup? Right now I'm leaning toward a movie setting for the date, which takes the pressure off of keeping the conversation going, and gives us a chance to be "alone" even if we invite friends along. Though it is cliche and unoriginal, it seems like the best choice presently. Any thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions?
laRubiaBonita Posted July 4, 2005 Posted July 4, 2005 OMG!!!! Slow Down!!! First~ did you get her number from HER , or fthrough some other, means?
Zaira Posted July 4, 2005 Posted July 4, 2005 You've got her number - call. Stuff this "rules" rubbish, do what feels right for you. If you don't know her that well I would suggest taking her somewhere where you could actually talk and get to know one another, and see if there are any sparks (ie. NOT a movie). As for the "touching" just go with the flow, although I wouldn't try demanding too much if you really like her - maybe just a kiss on the cheek goodbye or something.
theDude Posted July 4, 2005 Posted July 4, 2005 Originally posted by laRubiaBonita OMG!!!! Slow Down!!! First~ did you get her number from HER , or fthrough some other, means? Got the number from Samantha - sorry if that wasn't clear. Originally posted by ~Zaira~ You've got her number - call. Stuff this "rules" rubbish, do what feels right for you. If you don't know her that well I would suggest taking her somewhere where you could actually talk and get to know one another, and see if there are any sparks (ie. NOT a movie). As for the "touching" just go with the flow, although I wouldn't try demanding too much if you really like her - maybe just a kiss on the cheek goodbye or something. Well of course the "rules" are really just guidelines; calling before waiting 3 days has, to me, always seemed a bit clingy. Waiting a few days gives the other person a little breathing room and sets a more relaxed pace for everything that follows in the relationship. But of course, there are times when the "rule" needs to be broken, making it not an official "rule". This could have been one of those cases, but seeing as it's 2:53 AM here, it's technically the third day, and a bit late to decide to go against the rule. And now I do "know" her, in the sense that I've asked all of the normal questions you ask someone when you want to get to know them ("Where do you work/go to school? What kind of music do you like? Do you like pie?" etc.). We had just enough time during the course of VBS to use up all conversational ammunition, but not enough to engage in a longer, more meaningful conversation. This makes me think a movie may be a good place to start... but if we both bring friends along, the whole conversation problem would most likely be nonexistent. Anyway, thank you for your input. More feedback is always welcome, as you can never hear too many opinions or ideas.
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