chowmander Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 Hi All Just wanted to share my story of a upsetting ghosting/disappearing experience for everyone out there.Sorry this may be kind long but i kind of wanted to get it out of my head a little bit about myself first -decent job and financial situation that can sustain myself -good hobbies (hiking, jogging, outdoor adventures) -would consider myself to have good manners (holding doors for ladies, offering to pay, picking them up from work and driving them home after dinners) -average looks (can't claim myself to be good looking to seem modest;)) Met this girl via friend gathering 2 years ago. At first when we spoke and exchanged texts responses felt quite enthusiastic and for a while we hung out quite a lot for about 9 months(sometimes up to 5 days a week for dinners and other daytime activities on weekends like hiking or kayaking) Since the beginning of this year, she suddenly turn cold on me, with just limited responses via texts, and stopped taking up my invitations to hang out, with limited responses on social media (previously she would often like and comment on my FB and IG posts) i interpreted the message as she wasn't interest to date me (and i don't even were we even considered dating) and despite feeling disappointed i accepted that, and stopped with the invitations (after suggesting dinner and/or lunch 3 times) and texting. Recently saw her again in a gathering situation and i felt like i was invisible to her, she would talk with everyone over dinner but myself.I've feel like i have already moved on, but just couldn't stop thinking about why she would do that to me. Whats upsetting for me is that i don't feel like or remembering anything I've done that may have offended her. some may say that she lost interest because i didn't take any actions, but i really don't think that is a valid reason for anyone to suddenly end a proper relationship/platonic friendship (i.e ghosting??). i know most people here will tell me to move on, and next time just "seal the deal" quicker, but to be honest, because of this girl I've somewhat lost my confidence in dating new people. I usually take a long time to develop feeling for a new person (last official relationship i had was 7 years ago) All in all, i hope my story can be a lesson for other people out there, strike the iron while its hot (as i've been told by my friends whom i've shared my problems with), yes we may all have to endure heart breaking moments if they reject us, but at least we wouldn't have to go through the phase of wondering for months what could've been.
Gaeta Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 I don't know what to say. I mean who hangs out for 9 MONTHS when deep down he is interested in a relationship. That is beyond being a slow-poke. If she is still single why not reach to her? and let her know about your interest? 1
jen1447 Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 I don't think hanging out 5 days a week is really "friendship,' no matter what label you chose to put on it. Were you ever intimate w her and did you ever go on a proper date? I assume at least some of the dinners were dates ....?
bachdude Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 Well, it's clear that if she was in fact interested in being more than friends she was more than patient with you and you missed your opportunity. Her behavior is indicative of someone who felt hurt.
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