mmx Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 So I have known this guy for awhile now. It seems like he has for the most part put in more effort than me. He always initiates things such has, cuddling, hand holding, and kissing. I’ve never know what this is between us, so I am afraid for trying too hard. I don’t want to get hurt. It seems like in the last few weeks he is being distant. What do I do? Try harder or give up?
bachdude Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 (edited) Well, to keep a guy interested he needs to see something for his efforts, if he is the one imitating, otherwise he may throw in the towel. Edited August 22, 2016 by bachdude 1
Redhead14 Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 So I have known this guy for awhile now. It seems like he has for the most part put in more effort than me. He always initiates things such has, cuddling, hand holding, and kissing. I’ve never know what this is between us, so I am afraid for trying too hard. I don’t want to get hurt. It seems like in the last few weeks he is being distant. What do I do? Try harder or give up? mmx, in your other threads, you are asking 'what's what" between you two. You're struggling with this question and, frankly, I don't think this guy is dating you. You're just two peeps hanging out. Since he's been distant for weeks now, he just isn't that into you, and/or losing interest. A man who is really interested in developing a real relationship with a woman will not do this for weeks. This is stressing you out, so just talk to him and get it over with. so I am afraid for trying too hard -- It could also be that you have been "holding back" too much and so you're interest isn't clear enough to him either. So talk to him. 1
Larryville Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 Well, to keep a guy interested he needs to see something for his efforts I don't think this guy is dating you. You're just two peeps hanging out. This second quote is important, too many women I had been with over the years felt exactly like just buddies hanging out. I mentioned this in another thread but I never could never really get into many women I was dating because I was basically an appointment on their calendar. Now while they might like me more than others (thus more calendar opportunities) was appointment dating and that is NOT what I want. This person I met spoke... continues to speak in clear and strong terms about how she feels about me and is not shy about expressing, making a big impact on me. Again not that other women were not into me, MOST just were unwilling or unable (because of being burned in their past) to communicate intent clearly. Which gives you… so I am afraid for trying too hard. I don’t want to get hurt. It seems like in the last few weeks he is being distant. What do I do? Try harder 1
ss92 Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 If he hasn't been totally ignoring you but just been distant I would continue to live your life and go about your day feeling good and happy. If he is being distant it could be his way of asking for some space. so let him have his space. He will come back around if he truly cares.
SoThatHappened Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 - It seems like he has for the most part put in more effort than me. - He always initiates things such has, cuddling, hand holding, and kissing. - so I am afraid for trying too hard. I don’t want to get hurt. - It seems like in the last few weeks he is being distant. What do I do? Try harder or give up? The poor guy is probably giving up. He's putting in the effort. You're not reciprocating the same amount of effort. You're afraid of getting hurt, and in the process probably hurt him. I was trying to get a girl to be romantic with me after seeing her (almost platonically) for a couple months. She told me, "I'm afraid of us working or not working." I told her how that's not going to help her in any area of life. We are now dating and she's happy as a clam. If you're not ready to date (due to fresh wounds), I wouldn't date. It's not fair to the guy who wants to be with you and who is putting in more, if not all, of the effort.
Mystique01 Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 So I have known this guy for awhile now. It seems like he has for the most part put in more effort than me. He always initiates things such has, cuddling, hand holding, and kissing. I’ve never know what this is between us, so I am afraid for trying too hard. I don’t want to get hurt. It seems like in the last few weeks he is being distant. What do I do? Try harder or give up? Try harder?? It almost sounds like you haven't been trying at all no offense. I think I need more info here. How long have you two been actually dating? I know you said you have known each other "for a while now", but how long have you two been dating? Why do you feel like you will get hurt by him if he's making a lot of effort and is taking the initiative? Have you been hurt in the past before? Has he done anything to make you distrust him? His silence could mean he wants a little space, OR it could mean that he's not really sure how you feel about him. Since he's been the one initiating things, why not suggest something fun for you two to do this weekend. You know, initiate something and see how he responds. You will probably know whether or not his silence/distance is due to him being unsure about YOUR feelings, or due to him kind of wanting to break off the relationship or have more space.
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