Jammydodger7 Posted August 21, 2016 Posted August 21, 2016 We were never been full NC as we are work together. I am now actively looking for a new job so hopefully that will change soon. He messages me without fail every week, sometimes more. Usually ends with me telling him to go away if he's inappropriate. I caved this weekend..and saw him. One thing led to another and we had sex. I was caught at a weak moment and now I feel so ashamed. So annoyed with myself. I don't feel back to square one but I am so angry that I left him have exactly what the selfish bugger wanted. I don't know how to keep going. The push pull gets exhausting. This whole thing is so very tiring 1
CarrieT Posted August 21, 2016 Posted August 21, 2016 You keep going by implementing NC and sticking to it.... 5
MidnightBlue1980 Posted August 21, 2016 Posted August 21, 2016 We were never been full NC as we are work together. I am now actively looking for a new job so hopefully that will change soon. He messages me without fail every week, sometimes more. Usually ends with me telling him to go away if he's inappropriate. I caved this weekend..and saw him. One thing led to another and we had sex. I was caught at a weak moment and now I feel so ashamed. So annoyed with myself. I don't feel back to square one but I am so angry that I left him have exactly what the selfish bugger wanted. I don't know how to keep going. The push pull gets exhausting. This whole thing is so very tiring Don't beat yourself up. We have all done it. While I never went back physically, I went back with the communication and saying I love you, over and over and over for months and months. You need to just completely ignore him. Don't even tell him to go away. I am in this situation now. Any communication is a mistake. Literally just do not respond. Ignore. 2
Lobe Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 It's a process. There's a Japanese proverb that simply says, "Fall down 7 times, stand up 8." "Nana korobi ya oki" (literally: seven falls, eight getting up) The average smoker tries to quit smoking 7 times before they succeed, it takes 21 days to form a new habit, and every journey begins with a single step - this was your one step back, now take two steps forward. 6
Friskyone4u Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 We were never been full NC as we are work together. I am now actively looking for a new job so hopefully that will change soon. He messages me without fail every week, sometimes more. Usually ends with me telling him to go away if he's inappropriate. I caved this weekend..and saw him. One thing led to another and we had sex. I was caught at a weak moment and now I feel so ashamed. So annoyed with myself. I don't feel back to square one but I am so angry that I left him have exactly what the selfish bugger wanted. I don't know how to keep going. The push pull gets exhausting. This whole thing is so very tiring Jammy, There is no advice that will take the place of your will power and biting the bullet. And by the way, even if you switch jobs, he will still contact you without even having to worry about being inappropriate in the workplace if you do not block him. Men enter affairs for sex, and until HE is convinced it is not happening, you will continue to be tested and prodded to meet. What you just described is the exact reason he keeps at it. People can give you all sorts of words of wisdom. You know exactly what is going on, there is no deception here, and only you can help yourself. 3
Satu Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 I think that many affairs are actually mild cases of Folie à deux. Two people who share delusions about the nature of their relationship. Take care. 2
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