Rasonic Posted August 21, 2016 Posted August 21, 2016 My ex girlfriend and I are going to different colleges in different countries soon and so we both originally discussed and decided that it would be best to break up on good terms and remain good friends instead of trying a LDR(We thought it would be too hard since we would see each other only once a year..) We were always committed and always loved each other so much that we really hope to get back together once we graduate But unfortunately things didn't go that well.. I was so scared of losing her that i tried to convince her for a LDR,but we ended up fighting because of disagreements and we broke up sooner.At first she was mad at me because of this fight. But when i apologized to her,she said it was alright and that it's best this way since we would have to break up anyway soon.So we agreed to remain friends who still love each other and we initially both went NC for some days to get used to us not being together anymore and get prepared for college.. So after a few weeks i started contacting her but she acted very distant,saying she maybe needs more time.So i respected her decision and waited.But a few more days later she still didn't seem like she wanted to talk to me.I was the one who kept reaching out and she always acted distant until one day she angrily told me to stop contacting her and said that we can't remain close friends! She said she thought about our relationship and said she no longer loves me anymore,because she said i was too irresponsible and immature when we were together!Apparently she talked about it with her friends..She said she refused to see that i made a lot of mistakes when she was in love with me,which i really don't understand..I mean we always had a meaningful relationship..She said i have to move on and stop making as if we still love each other and that i have to grow up in college and hopefully we will see if we can make it work out again once we graduate..But right now she says she wants to focus on her studies and her responsibilities.. So can anyone please help me understand what really happened here? Why is she so angry and why did she change her mind abruptly? does she really mean it when she says she no longer loves me? I mean i don't understand how someone's feelings can change over a week..I was pretty shocked to hear that Thanks..
preraph Posted August 21, 2016 Posted August 21, 2016 I'm sorry you feel stranded. College age is the age when people usually do a lot of evolving and changing socially and move on from old friends and boyfriends/girlfriends. It's just part of growing up. College opens up a whole new world and is usually a person's first taste of freedom. She wants to be able to enjoy that, and you should too. Once she got out of her little world and out into the big new one, she saw a lot of possibilities and it gave her a new perspective. IMO, no one should spend their entire college years tied to another person because this is the time to meet different types of people and become more worldly and to see how many choices there are. And you should do that too. I'm sorry you're hurting. But she's said she's not in love with you anymore, so it's over and not at all likely to get back together. You're in the perfect place to cry for a bit and mourn but then get busy socially and do things you love and find new things and people you love. Make yourself schedule to do that. Don't just hide in your room. Good luck.
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