At the end of the day it's all about self respect...

[Jim nine three]

Hey people

 

It has been a long time since I last posted on this forum.Since then,my life has taken a turn for the best and I decided to share my thoughts with you today so anyone who has been feeling bad lately because of a break-up or are in a bad relationship can gain some much-needed insight.Believe me,I have been where you are,I believe my post are still on this forum after all.I know how it is to not be able to sleep because the pain feels too much to handle.To feel used and left-out from something you could give everything to be a part of.However the answer to all our struggles is so simple,something that comes from within you.

 

Everything has to do with how much you value yourself as a person and your self-respect.There is literally no one on this planet that can effect the way you feel but yourself.Not your crush,not your ex,not anyone but yourself.What I found out is that we allow others to step on us and trust me when someone realizes that they have so much power over you they will abuse it to no end until you say otherwise.Once again,you and only you can alter the way you feel.It sounds so easy to do but it takes time to achieve.Once you adopt this mindset though,you are in the clear.Let me give you a synopsis of my story.

 

Basically I broke up with my long term ex-girlfriend.It was me who ended the relationship because she treated me horribly over the last year of our time together.You can read the full story on my previous posts.After a long period of an on-off relationship I gave in and pleaded her to get back together.At that moment she knew she had complete control over me and after rejecting me she kept me on the back burner and used me whenever she needed an ego boost.I tried to show her that I loved her in each and every possible way you can think of,to no avail.Then,I tried to get over her.I went NC for 2 months,even went on a rebound for another couple of months.I tried lying to myself to believe I was over her.No matter though,she would still find a way to get back into my head one way or another.Then one day,some months back,I woke up and realized that I had completely lost all my self-respect all this time.I didn't deem myself worthy of anything significant and so I put an abusive person on a pedestal for her to look down on me.

 

Healthy relationships are built on respect,and after so much time of her disrespecting me,the tables inside my head turned.That person lost all my respect for the way she took advantage of me and once again I put value on myself.Once she realized that,it was already too late.Once she started noticing she lost that power she had over me she went nuts.She started texting more and more often,asking me to hang out,which of course I rejected,up to the point that she basically begged me back.At that moment I knew that I didn't want to be with such an insecure person that had no respect for me but was butthurt because I stopped putting up with her bulls**t.And even if she didn't beg me back it still would not matter.She had no power over me so it was irrelevant at that point.

 

Now I am not telling you that this is the way to make your ex come back crawling.It just happened to be so in my example but this is not the point.You will most likely not want to be with them by this point.What I want you to know is that you have to respect yourself enough to not put up with anyone's disrespectful behavior.You are the only thing you have got throughout your whole life so always treat yourself with utmost respect.It's you who decides to be happy or sad,not your ex,not your friends,not anyone but you.

 

Stay awesome!

[Transthoracic08]

Thanks for the post. I know you're right. I have just lost the most important relationship of my life. I had voluntarily given up my self respect and put up with her treating me badly hoping she would realize what she was doing. I haven't let her go from my heart yet, but I'm working on it. I know it is what I need to do.

[NopeNah]

This is why I broke it off with my ex. Once the respect dies,so does the ('Normal') relationship. It's VERY hard to regain respect,undo resentments,ect.. Sometimes it's just done.

[preraph]

Ideally, we have to have self-respect going in so we have standards set to keep from ending up with someone who takes it from us. It's no good waiting until it's so bad that you finally have had enough and feel so low. But anyone who leaves you feeling like that isn't the person for you.

 

Better luck next time. You'll hopefully have learned and then expect good treatment going in and maybe it won't happen to you again. Good luck.