Rilke1010 Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 I'm a 30 year old male, and was in a long distance relationship with my 24 year old girl. About 2.5 hour drive away. We dated for 1.5 years. I want to begin by saying that she is very avoidant by nature and extremely difficult to communicate with. In any case, she broke up with me 3 months ago citing her new job as a reason. I was very confused. Then I found out (1 month after the breakup) that she was dating a mutual friend of ours immediately after our breakup - like days after. Very suspicious behavior. So I believe I was replaced and was cheated on (at the very least emotionally). It completely crushed me emotionally. My God - this sort of betrayal I've never experienced in my life. Now all I can think about is how he's so much better than me. How she thinks he's so much better than me. Taller, more muscular. I keep comparing myself to him and how he won, I lost, he got the girl, I didn't. The funny thing is that this guy has a very bad reputation in our larger network of friends as being a cheater. He's cheated on almost every girl he has been with. He does seem to be into her though. I just really need help with how to stop comparing myself to this new guy. I honestly feel betrayed and replaced, like a piece of trash. I'm having a hard time deciphering whether I feel this way because she thinks he's better than me? Or if he really is better than me? I just cannot help comparing and feeling/thinking these negative thoughts. I would really really appreciate thoughts, positive vibes, some love. I'm sorry I'm just really hurting and driving myself nuts with these stupid thoughts.
asphyxis Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 I'd like to first start off by saying that no one can be "stolen" who isn't looking to be. So its possible that she wasn't fully invested into the relationship as much as you were, which would make sense if she is seeing someone new or was. Regardless, it doesn't matter. You aren't this new guy, you are you and you have qualities about yourself that will appeal to the right person. The reasons for the break is irrelevant, her job was an easy cop out. It's over, and it's time to start to process that but the last thing you need to be worrying about is the next guy up in line. Get into the gym and out all your attention there if physical attributes is something you have always wanted. You'll get through this.
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