Lorenza Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 There's quite a lot of my exes stuff at my house. I don't want to see that person, he's a liar and a cheater, tricked me for months, so I don't want to face him. My dad, with whom I share the house, swore he will beat him up if he sees him. Don't want to make it awkward to my friends either and ask them, that's just weird. Do you think it's ok to throw it all out? There are a lot of boxers, t-shirts, some other clothes, a toiletry kit, towels... I kinda don't dare to go berserk and do that. A producer I started working with is a good friend to my ex and his family, what if they will portray me as a psycho who didn't give back stuff? How to solve this? I don't want to either text him or see him ever again.
smudge21 Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 Get a friend to contact a friend of his or similar and arrange to drop off all his stuff. DO NOT be that crazy ex type person - it shows weakness and emotion and the last thing you want to do is feed the ego of a dumper. Screw them. Walk out with pride and show that you are better than him and above all this. 2
Author Lorenza Posted August 20, 2016 Author Posted August 20, 2016 Get a friend to contact a friend of his or similar and arrange to drop off all his stuff. DO NOT be that crazy ex type person - it shows weakness and emotion and the last thing you want to do is feed the ego of a dumper. Screw them. Walk out with pride and show that you are better than him and above all this. I don't personally know any of his friends, I mean one of them kinda knows me, will it not be pathetic to reach out to him and hand in the stuff? I know he meets my ex constantly, but I'm just afraid to look weird. I'm already feeling so laughable and like everybody knows he was fooling me...
smudge21 Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 I don't personally know any of his friends, I mean one of them kinda knows me, will it not be pathetic to reach out to him and hand in the stuff? I know he meets my ex constantly, but I'm just afraid to look weird. I'm already feeling so laughable and like everybody knows he was fooling me... No, get a friend of yours to make any/all contact to friends of his. You just pack up his stuff (cheapest bin bags possible, maybe with a cheese slice at the bottom) and hand it over to a good friend for them to make contact, or even your dad, but no direct contact with him. He's no longer in your life, which is awesome without him.
asphyxis Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 Don't throw out his stuff, he could come at you for doing that. Not physically but legally, especially if there's valuables. Pacl it up and contact a mutual friend and see if they are willing to take his stuff to him. Threats of any kind show immaturity. Don't be that person. 2
Author Lorenza Posted August 20, 2016 Author Posted August 20, 2016 Don't throw out his stuff, he could come at you for doing that. Not physically but legally, especially if there's valuables. Pacl it up and contact a mutual friend and see if they are willing to take his stuff to him. Threats of any kind show immaturity. Don't be that person. Why threats? I'm not gonna threaten anyone. Those are just clothes, toothpaste, towel etc. Stuff you wanna have at a place you're sleeping over. I was considering throwing them out cause he didn't claim them, is blocked from any contact with me and doesn't answer to my best friends who wrote to him trying to make him understand what he did (I didn't ask them). So I don't even understand if he wants them. I'll ask someone to write to his best buddy.
Author Lorenza Posted August 20, 2016 Author Posted August 20, 2016 Many people told me to throw the stuff out cause he deserves it. But I don't think it's a good idea at all.
JewelD Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 How long has it been sitting there? If it's been a few months, clearly he doesn't care so toss it out or give it to Goodwill. I wouldn't hound somebody to come get their crap out of my home. 1
privategal Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 If you know his work schedule and know for sure he wouldn't be home you can drop it off on the porch with no note, just leave it, and that's good closure. It's obviously just cheap clothing I'd not worry about looking psycho if you pitched it, but if that doesn't feel right, drop it off with your Dad when he's not home. You need to free up your living space from any memory ASAP so you can truly heal and make a fresh start. 1
jen1447 Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 9/10 of the law is possession, so if it's been sitting around at your place for a while and he hasn't moved to claim it, it's really your stuff. That you're free to dispose of as you wish. Personally I wouldn't allow some pissant property to interfere w what sounds like a pretty serious no contact situation, so out it goes. Or at least put it in a box and leave it in the garage. If it was a tv or sth maybe but underwear? Yeah no. 3
LD1990 Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 Toss it. It's not your job to be his delivery service and find out a way to get him his stuff back. If he wanted it back, he should have arranged that with you when you two broke up. He didn't, his fault, it's now abandoned property and can be treated as such. He wouldn't be able to do anything legally as he wouldn't even be able to prove that he left anything at your place. Don't worry about what he could tell people or how people will see you. He'll say what he's going to say regardless of what you do with his stuff. People who are smart will know there are two sides to every story. 3
preraph Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 Mail a box of his crap to his mother's house or whoever's address you have. And that's all. If you don't have that, then put it in a box on the curb with the words in big black Sharpie "HERE'S YOUR STUFF." Because yes, he's probably still driving by.... 1
Author Lorenza Posted August 20, 2016 Author Posted August 20, 2016 Thanks for advice everybody. The things is, we've been on and off for months, always him breaking up with me and then wanting to come back again. I was blinded by love, let him dictate the rules of the relationship and keep me on hold while he was constantly busy with other things. He always had the stuff at my place. Ever since like November. Never claimed them after any of the breakups as we would make it up quite quickly and he would keep on using them and leave new things. This time, after one more week of "too busy for you" and him contemplating to breakup yet again, I found out he was on Tinder looking for hookups and his father accidentally told that my ex didn't sleep at home and told his family he's at my place. While he wasn't. So the real blocking of any contact happened a few days ago. But of course, as the usual scenario goes, it hurts me to see the stuff just lying there. I'm very seriously determined to never contact him. He lives 1h40min away from me and I would never go such a long way for someone who broke my heart like that. I like the idea about sending the stuff over the post. Would be clean and not involve any contact with anything related to him. Maybe I'll do that, if it doesn't cost more than some crowns. 3
Fruitee Posted August 21, 2016 Posted August 21, 2016 I would post his stuff to his. If you dont know his home address then post it to his work or to his friends place.
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