Bringing her dog on a first date?

[True Gent]

I'm meeting a woman tomorrow from match.com, nothing new there I've met countless ladies in this way now. However I'm beginning to have a couple of reservations with this one.

 

She seems to be happy texting each other constantly, which I've had to back down from. I'm not into texting someone I haven't met yet. We have spoken on the phone though and we seemed to chat easily for an hour which was fine.

 

We arranged a meeting place and a time, somewhere for a coffee and a short walk if the weather is permitting. Now comes the issue. After agreeing the date she's text me asking if she can bring her dog along and has tried a couple of times to change the location via text.

 

To not seem like an unreasonable person, I've said ok to the dog, but kept the original location. I think sitting down to have a face to face chat is the best way to break the ice and there are dog friendly places at our original agreed destination too. So she agrees but changes the agreed time by 15 mins for no apparent reason, we're both driving there I just find it odd.

 

Am I wrong in thinking that a first date should just be the two of you, where you can just have a chat and see how you get along? I don't think bringing a dog along is a good idea, it's more restrictive (she's already expressed concerns about where to go for a coffee becuse of the dog) and well... It's a bit odd when you've never ever met each other before?

 

In my opinion meeting with no other distractions or restrictions is the best first meeting. What do you guys think?

 

I'm not 100% convinced here, I don't normally have any reservations before meeting someone. I don't like agreeing something which should be simple and then the other party starts throwing things into the mix like changing the whole arrangement and bringing their pet.

[MidwestUSA]

I think he said yes, it's weird of her to bring her dog. What dog can't stay home alone for an hour?

 

Yep, that's what he said.

Edited August 20, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[True Gent]

Now She texts saying, she's deleted her match account. What the hell?

 

Why would she be doing that and then telling me about it? We've never met, nothing particularly awesome has occoured during our communication I am feeling like there are big red flags here.

[angel.eyes]

Now I am feeling like there are big red flags here.

 

Then move on!

 

You don't like that she texts you. You don't like that she asked to bring her dog. You don't like that she moved the time by 15 minutes. You don't like that she tried to change the venue to somewhere more convenient for her and her dog. Now, you don't like her. All this over a minimal effort coffee and walk?

 

What is the dilemma exactly? As you said, you've dated "countless" other women via OLD. Just skip on to the next. This person obviously doesn't suit you.

[phineas]

Now She texts saying, she's deleted her match account. What the hell?

 

Why would she be doing that and then telling me about it? We've never met, nothing particularly awesome has occoured during our communication I am feeling like there are big red flags here.

 

Ask to skype or for her facebook.

Or do some detective work yourself to find facebook.

 

Seems fishy.

She may be using old pics on match, or living with someone (hence "walking the dog"excuse) and now that she has to meet that realization has set in so now she is starting to freak out and is all over the board.

She may be trying to get you to bail so she doesn't look like the bad guy.

 

I've had enough women act like this before a date and ultimately flake last min.

A handful were from my little city and i'd eventually run into them while shopping or what not and i'd see a nice big ring on the finger or they were heavier and older than their profile pics.

 

That said, i've met up with women who lived withing a mile or two of me and id walk to them with my dog and hang out.

 

Chicks dig my dog.

[True Gent]

Then move on!

 

You don't like that she texts you. You don't like that she asked to bring her dog. You don't like that she moved the time by 15 minutes. You don't like that she tried to change the venue to somewhere more convenient for her and her dog. Now, you don't like her. All this over a minimal effort coffee and walk?

 

What is the dilemma exactly? As you said, you've dated "countless" other women via OLD. Just skip on to the next. This person obviously doesn't suit you.

 

No dilemma as such. Just wanted others opinions on bringing her dog along. I don't discuss dating with the people in my life, so just wanted to ask for a general opinion here.

 

The reason I'm asking a second opinion is because I'm not the kind of person to go flakey and back out of things for no reason and I would just like to bounce this off someone else.

 

Is it I reasonable of me to back out of this date? That's pretty much it I guess, just want an opinion.

[phineas]

No dilemma as such. Just wanted others opinions on bringing her dog along. I don't discuss dating with the people in my life, so just wanted to ask for a general opinion here.

 

The reason I'm asking a second opinion is because I'm not the kind of person to go flakey and back out of things for no reason and I would just like to bounce this off someone else.

 

Is it I reasonable of me to back out of this date? That's pretty much it I guess, just want an opinion.

 

I think i understand.

You are the type of person who if they say they are going to do something it is written in stone and cancelling or flaking goes against your nature.

[Gaeta]

You are over-reacting the dog issue.

 

You think it's best to concentrate on each other on a first meet and other people say it's best to have a distraction like walking a dog or doing a type of sport activity as a first date to release some anxiety or stress of meeting for the first time.

 

I have often brought my dog on first dates when it was a beautiful summer day in a park. I have never got a negative reaction.

 

I am a dog owner and it comes with responsibilities you better be aware of it right from the start. Owning a dog is nothing like owning a cat. A dog needs company. If this is something you don't want to deal with better date someone that is not a dog owner.

[lillymae1010]

Let me get this straight. You're bothered by the fact that she brought her dog on a first date with a stranger and that she was 15 minutes late? I'm going with angel.eyes on this one. These things in themselves don't jump out to me as typical deal breakers but your reservations about the whole thing definitely does. That doesn't make you or her a bad person. Maybe it's just not a right fit.

 

 

You could give it one more chance but it sounds like you already made up your mind.

[Gaeta]

Now She texts saying, she's deleted her match account. What the hell?

 

Why would she be doing that and then telling me about it? We've never met, nothing particularly awesome has occoured during our communication I am feeling like there are big red flags here.

 

Why do you assume she deleted for you?

 

Maybe she was just fed up after too much time online. Maybe her paid subscription was over. Maybe she was just trying to make conversation.

 

You are trying to find faults in this woman at each corner.

[Gaeta]

She seems to be happy texting each other constantly, which I've had to back down from. I'm not into texting someone I haven't met yet.

 

That's you, your personal rule, how is she suppose to be aware of your personal rules and preferences? 90% of people on dating sites text before meeting. She is just going along with what she has experienced so far. You don't like it, then don't participate in it. If she text just answer and wish her a good day and tell her you'll speak on your date. She'll understand.

[elaine567]

In "You've Got Mail" Tom Hanks brought along his dog on their first real date along with the strains of "Somewhere over the Rainbow", and they emailed for weeks too.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vngB182CBQ#t=713

 

Are you saying Meg Ryan should have bailed?

[JewelD]

It doesn't seem like a horrible thing if the dog is kind and mild mannered.

 

I wouldn't bring my dog simply because I don't want to be picking up dog poo while I'm trying to get to know someone. And then of course, if you're in public, other people will probably want to pet him or make googly faces at him.

 

Maybe her dog is a big part of her life and she wants to make sure you enjoy being around him. A lot of people treat their pets like their children.

[smackie9]

I love animals....first date? bring your Iguana if you want to lol.

[True Gent]

Thanks for the responses. Perhaps I am over reacting to the dog coming along.

 

Just for the record, I have been a dog owner myself and I've no issue with dogs. I actually had to make the hard decision to let my ex Fiancée keep our dogs after we broke up 3 years ago.

 

Yes I'm looking for faults parhaps because I'm often dissapointed in the dating world and I maybe just don't expect anything to lead to anything meaningful anymore. It just seemed to me we had an ideal first meeting arranged and then she wants to move the goal posts potentially adding obstacles to what was just supposed to be a coffee.

 

I don't want to seem like a bit of a prick, so thought I'd just talk about it here first.

[Ami1uwant]

Wanting to do it doggie style can be a good thing.....

 

I think you are picking on little this. Especially if this is in text do you don't have tone with her suggestions.

 

The 15 minutes could have come up because she found out she needs to do something before meeting that will take 10 min like needing to go to the post office to get/mail

 

I don't see red flags here....a package.

[luna97]

Maybe she's shy?

 

I know that, personally, I find comfort in animals and struggle when it comes to people. Most of the people I talk to and see on a regular basis are people I've met at work (I work at an animal shelter).

 

While it might seem weird, maybe she really loves dogs, and bringing him along might give her something to crutch on if she doesn't know what to say.

 

The constant changes might be caused by her nerves.

 

Just a thought! I hope you're meeting a normal girl that just likes dogs and not some total weirdo, lol

[smackie9]

maybe she wants to use the dog as protection, maybe she wants to make sure the dog likes her date, maybe she wants to make it known that the dog is a important part of her life and the dog goes with her most of the time, etc.

 

***IMO Owning a dog is a lifestyle, and you would want to make sure your date will fit in.

 

I don't see an issue with anything and are overreacting. React after the date, not before.

[Gaeta]

To not seem like an unreasonable person, I've said ok to the dog, but kept the original location. I think sitting down to have a face to face chat is the best way to break the ice and there are dog friendly places at our original agreed destination too.

 

I think you should have accepted the change of location. I think you are too fussy about where you are meeting. I have never ever encountered a man that was fussy about where to meet. If I had to change the location they went along with it, they always said they'd go anywhere I wished, I'm the lady and ladies pick where the first meet is. What is important is my level of comfort.

 

I think it's not important what you think a first meet should be like. Women are the vulnerable ones when meeting a stranger from online. If a woman wants to change location to somewhere closer to her home, to somewhere with more light, with more people around, you go along with a smile.

[elaine567]

I think it's not important what you think a first meet should be like. Women are the vulnerable ones when meeting a stranger from online. If a woman wants to change location to somewhere closer to her home, to somewhere with more light, with more people around, you go along with a smile.

 

I agree.

 

Changing location is not a power game, it is often about ensuring personal safety, something men tend not to have to worry much about.

[lillymae1010]

I don't want to seem like a bit of a prick, so thought I'd just talk about it here first.

 

A very solid reason to be here. I commend you on being open to different inputs.

[SevenCity]

I agree.

 

Changing location is not a power game, it is often about ensuring personal safety, something men tend not to have to worry much about.

 

A mans biggest worry about meeting a girl from OLD is that she's fat

 

I love my dog - like really love my dog. I would easily put a bullet in someone's head to save her from them if faced with the situation. She's sleeping in my lap as I write this.

 

That said, I don't think I would take her on a first date. I think that is akin to bringing a kid on your first date.

 

It would be different if the girl wanted to meet her and we were doing a dog park or something but on a first date I would care to spend my attention getting to know the girl.

 

If a girl wanted to bring her dog I would be ok as I love dogs but it would make me think she's not that serious about meeting me.

[JDPT]

Maybe is the animal lover in me but heck yeah bring your dog, bring your cat, bring your snake! I think it gives me a common thing to bond (the pup) with an have a nice conversation. There are no red flags here, only thing I see her is that her dog means a ton to her and she wants to make that very clear to you. I think if you have an issue with here where you feel threatened by a dog taking her attention away from you then it's time to move on and find someone who would devote all her time in you.

[JDPT]

I have never ever encountered a man that was fussy about where to meet. If I had to change the location they went along with it, they always said they'd go anywhere I wished

 

 

That's predominantly because men are just so eager to "get you out". Ask a next potential date to meet you at the Mc Donald's parking lot, trust me he'll be all for it.

[True Gent]

I agree.

 

Changing location is not a power game, it is often about ensuring personal safety, something men tend not to have to worry much about.

 

I agree, however when we arranged the date/meeting over a phone conversation and agreed to meet in a very public place with the opportunity to either take a walk or grab a coffee together in a place of mutual territory. I don't really get the neded to suggest alternatives via text afterwards and then decide the dog needs to come along.

 

The alternative she suggested is a quiet location with no local amenities and I can only assume it was to suit the dog. That's my concern for this first date, can she not leave the dog for an hour to two to meet someone new and make an effort?

 

I have no issue with the woman choosing the location, I have reservations about coming up with totally different dynamic after agreeing on what to do previously where she seemed totally fine with it.