michael20 Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 i met a girl when i was in a relationship but didnt tell her. though we were not dating she knew i liked her very much. i never crossed the line. she later found i was in a relationship and she was pissed. i apologised and told i didnt want to loose her thats why i did that. she accepted my apology but i broke contact to avoid misunderstanding. i too later found she was in a relationship (so i wondered why she was upset then?). after some months my relationship didnt work out my ex bcoz she was not matured enough to stay and have us work our **** out. so i went to this girl and she said she broke up too. i told her i loved her and would even marry her so we started dating. 1week into the relationship she cheated on me with her ex. i was sad bcoz i did nothing wrong and everything was going well. she cried n said sorry. she said i could sleep with other girls to get my anger away but i refused to do that. so after what happened ofcoz things were never the same. we break up and make up a lot for i could hardly trust her. during one of the breakups we got back together as usual and she admitted she went clubbing with guys and i was so pissed and told her she lack dignity. i told her am going back to my ex (bcoz my ex made me understand she wants me back). this girl pleaded but i refused so she said i should date both of them. i started dating my ex again and opened up about the idea of dating her with someone else but she refused and said i have to choose one and ofcoz i chose my ex. but one problem was that i didnt tell my ex i slept with this other girl bcoz i was scared she would leave again. The other girl on the other hand was angry i chose my ex over her and went to tell her details of sexual moments together (revenge). My ex was angry confronted me but i cried and told her to not believe what she heared (bcoz i know she will hate me when i admit it, i know her too well). but all failed she told me believe what the girl said and she cant get over it then she broke up with me. i Felt so lonely and asked this other girl why she did that to me she told me she was sorry but she told me my ex confided in her that she was tired of me and she just need an excuse to leave. i was weak at this point so this girl acted as comfort to me. She treated me nice so i really began to have affection for again. But one day i contacted my ex for i heared she was in the hospital so this girl saw the call log on my phone and asked why and i gave my reasons. i never called my ex again. Everything was good after that but i suddenely checked her phone one day and saw she accepted to date another boy from her country. now i was quite sad. Her excuse was that i contacted my ex. she casually said sorry but i said am done hearing that so she asked what i wanted i told her she should leave my life. i was so angry at the way she left without showing any remourse. so i said mean stuffs to her, told her she was nothing to me, i only used her and that i even slept with someone else (all was lies just to make her feel pain). although i feel ashamed for those thigns i said. 1week after breakup i sent apology through her friend. i met her in person too and apologised. she said its ok and but she really wana come to my place. i refused at first bcoz i was still angry but i later gave in when she told she was dating no one else. but during intercourse she admitted she slept a black guy on the night of breakup. it hurt so bad especially knowing he is the same race as me. Her excuse is that the words i said made her angry and that she missed me and was desperat for love. we had issues so i said i will watch her and see if she is going to change. i told her i will test her by making thigns difficult for her. she said she dont mind and that she dont want anytoher boy even i when i leave she wont even hangout and all. so i stoped talking to her for a few weeks and deleted her number Now we have been seeing each other for sometime now but not dating. She lied she went out with no one but i pressed on then she told me that when i stoped talking to her she hung out other black boys in their house and but refused them when they try to make her have sex. But she admit she had sex with one local guy she knows on her trip to an island (she claims its rape, and occured twice). I dont understand how a girl at 22 can be like this. I dont know how i came to like such a girl. Pleas how do i get myself out of this????
Ocino Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 she slept a black guy on the night of breakup. it hurt so bad especially knowing he is the same race as me. Lol what? So it's less offensive if she cheats with someone of a different race? Anyway I don't know how to help you apart from suggesting that maybe you'll both become desensitized to each other's cheating. It sounds as if you have more infidelity issues than two working pornstars who are going for a monogamous relationship. 2
BaileyB Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 What a train wreck. You do have more infidelity issues than porn stars who are trying to make a monogamous relationship work. Your relationship is messed up...
preraph Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 I'm sorry it's not working out as planned, but you have to admit it got off to a rocky start. She will never be able to trust you and now you'll never be able to trust her. It seems to me neither of you are really ready to settle down and should just keep dating for awhile until you get tired of it and want some stability. But I can't see this working out with you two. There's never going to be a foundation of trust, so I advise you do a friendly breakup and just tell her it wasn't meant to be. Good luck.
scooby-philly Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 It seems like you both have deeper issues to work on. It's a hot mess and as someone said got off to a rocky start. At this point, I would just walk away. Time heals all wounds. Perhaps it's time to work on yourself before trying to get into another relationship. And a few points I've learned along the way: #1 - There's nothing wrong with the truth. In a relationship again and meet someone - tell them. #2 - People who don't do #1 generally have some deeper issues going on. #3 - You told the girl you loved her without even having dated her first - inmature - perhaps bold and true to your feelings in the moment - but those feelings don't last. You can say all sorts of crazy things - i really like you - let's spend lots of time together, etc - but avoid the "L" word #4 - Clean breaks. If you break up with someone - even for the wrong reason - walk away. NC (no contact rule) - there's a great post pinned on this board in the breaking up thread about the NC rule. You got into this mess (and her) partly because you probably should have been out of the first relationship before you met her and then again went back to the first one when the second one hit the rocks.
todreaminblue Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 I dont feel either one of you truly loves the other...you both need time apart to define what you really want in a relationship and what you are willing to give in a relationship..you both sound really young...... a lot of what seems to be going on is childishness.and seemingly often..quite spiteful towards each other.. childishness does not belong in a relationship between two adults.....understanding and compromise does and honesty ... work on you ...let her work on herself.experience life ..travel....share good times......love your friends and family...and love yourself doing that.......and then find someone to be in a relationship with.....i wish you well....deb
Recommended Posts