Shelaughss Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 Let me describe my situation a little: My boyfriend and I have been dating for exactly 9 months. We are literally perfect for each other and anyone around us including each other thought this. Only thing is he has a lot of issues, feels like he isnt contributing to society as he has a crappy job and barely knows what he wants to do in life. All which don't mix well with his anxiety which he's been on medication for for a few months. Long story short he began to pull away and I confronted him about it. He told me his mind was going crazy lately and doesn't know if he was in love with me anymore, and this led to a week break which made me fall in love with him more and helped him come to the conclusion that he indeed does still have feels for me, let alone love me which he communicated he will always love me (not the romantic love). However, he will be going into an intensive school program beginning in a month which will take 2 semesters to complete. He was nerve good at focusing on more than one thing and he told me he needs to figure out his life and focus on school without any distractions. He told me he wasn't asking me to wait around but mentioned getting back together after he was done school and be friends in the mean time talking a little bit, hanging out once in a while, and having meaningless sex. Honestly, I love him so much and am confident in what our relationship once was, but I need advice from people who have been in similar situations (or not) as I'm struggling with all the memories we share together. I know being friends/continuing with sex isn't probably a good idea but neither of us could bare cutting each other out of our lives entirely. Do you think a friendship with benefits in this situation would hurt our chances of getting back together in the future? Also tips for coping would be greatly appreciated.
LD1990 Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 He doesn't feel as strongly for you as you do for him. He broke things off with you for a week and now he's trying to downgrade you to his friend with benefits. When a guy or girl is in love, they'll do anything to be with that person. They don't quit on the relationship just because they're going to be busier. Ask yourself this - if he still has time to talk to you, hang out occasionally, and have sex with you, why exactly can't you two still be together? If you settle for being his friend with benefits, that's all you're going to be. Better to leave with your dignity intact. 3
BC1980 Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 FWB is not a road to a relationship. That is a road to disrespecting yourself. 3
Blanco Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 You're coming out of the honeymoon phase. At that point, it needs to be decided if the relationship has a solid foundation to build on with more serious commitments or if it's run its course. Sorry, but sounds like your ex has decided this is the latter. 1
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