Boyfriend of four years left me for another girl!

[Kassie9293]

Hi everyone. This is my first thread post to this site.

 

Hi everyone, so i'm in a pretty unique situation right now. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, i'm 20 and he is almost 23, we recently broke up roughly 3 weeks ago. We've been through alot and have always had a very mature relationship granted we got together when i was 16, he lived with me for the first 2 and a half years of our relationship, we had our arguements but always managed to work it out, he moved home 45 minutes away from me last summer as he had some family issues and needed to be there for his mom, 2 weeks before he ended things i caught him texting another female co worker saved in his contacts under a male name, i confronted him and threatened to leave and he apologized and swore it would never happen again, this is the first time he has ever done something like this, he's always been extremely faithful to me. The last 6 months of our relatio ship was extremely rocky, we fought alot, had trust issues and acted like we almost hated eachother, the week before he broke up with me, i could feel it in my heart that something wasen't right, and i knew we were on the brink of seperation and even though i tried my hardest to grab on to him i couldn't keep him from slipping away, the second i packed my belongings and left his apartment i implimented the no contact rule, exactly one week of no contact and he called me late friday night and asked if he could come see me and that he needed someone to talk to. I agreed, he came down and was happy to see me. I kept my distance and told him i was doing pretty great since he left, he told me that he had slept with the girl from work and that earlier friday morning she had told him that she just wanted to be friends and that she hoped he wouldn't make things akward at work, he said he regreted it and that she manipulated him at a very weak point in our relationship. After he explained he told me that he loved me very much, and that he wanted to give us another chance if i would have him, we talked for hours and i was on cloud nine that i had my baby back. We spent an amazing weekend together, the sex was the most intimate, it's ever been between us, not anything like make up sex. We talked about where this new journey together and new love for each other was going to take us. We were so happy. I explained to him sunday night that i was worried about his return to work and him being around this female as she started texting him non stop sunday night. Monday he came home late from work to my house, he was acting strange, i acted like it didn't bother me, he mentioned going home and i smiled and helped him pack his belongings, before he stepped out the door he asked to talk for a minute, i agreed and we sat and talked, he told me that the female co worker approached him at work telling him she wanted to be with him and that things would be the same between him and i if we got back together, him and i talked, i explained that i wouldn't be upset but either way when we got up from the table he was going to get in his car and leave and go try to find whatever happiness he thought she could provide better than me, or that he would come up to bed with me and i would never hear about this again, he said he chose me and would tell her that him and i need to give this another chance. He went to work the following day, left all of his belongings at my house and did not come back for 2 days, he called me wednesday evening and explained that he didn't know what to do and if him and i would work out, but if he didn't try he would always wonder, we had a great conversation and hung up. The next morning i woke up angry and hurt, that the person i spent the last four years with and did everything for saw me as an option, i packed all of his clothes and belongings neatly folded and laundered and wrote a note "i should of been your first priority but instead you made me plan b, i love you but i can't do this anymore" i drove it to his apartment and left it on his bed while he was at work. He texted me when he got home from work "thanks for all my stuff" i was shocked (not the reaction i was hoping for) i was hurt beyond belief.but implimented no contact. It's been exactly 6 days today since i dropped his stuff off, yesterday i was out shopping and got a text from a number i didn't recognize that said "i just wanted to say i hope everything is going good for you" i responded "who is this" he immediately texted back "come on" i responded "i really don't know who this is.." he texted back "come on just because i have a new number" i then knew it was him and didn't reply, he tried calling me, i was on the other line, i didn't answer, he texted twice more, "alright i see how it is" and then "honestly thought you would be more mature about this but ok" i never responded, went out with a couple of friends and left my phone in my car, and i noticed i had a missed call from a private number, so i automatically thought to myself "does he really think i'm that stupid?" I went on with my night. It's now been 2 days since that night i have heard nothing from him and now i'm wondering if i made a mistake not responding to him. I do want him back, and i do love him very much. But i am very hurt and never really thought he was capable of something like this. My question is, will he reach out again, what was his reason for reaching out? Does he want to get back together or is he really just wondering how i am doing. I'm confused. Will he reach out again if i hold out and continue my no contact?

[NIGHT1985]

You should probably break this down in paragraphs, makes it a whole lot easier to read

[preraph]

Look, I'm going out on a limb and saying a whole lot of guys would gladly keep dallying with their ex if they were willing as long as they didn't expect any obligatory faithful or considerate behavior from them and they could keep their new victim -- I mean girlfriend and keep dating. So sure, if you will put up with him dumping you and still let him come around and not have expectations and he can still get laid and visit with you, I'm sure he would. But please have more self-respect than that and block him.

[stillafool]

You completely did the right thing. You are right that he thought of you as an option and apparently option b. If he is truly sorry he will bring his sorry butt over to your place and beg you back. Anything less than that I would keep walking and not look back. If you were to take him back now he will still have her in his system. They must have been doing something (for who knows how long) if he was willing to let a 4 year relationship go to give this chick a try. How dare he call you immature.

[darkmoon]

only you can tell if he loves you or not, but I do not think he will chase you any more, no, just slow down, though you seem to like the roller-coaster craziness