My girlfriend claims she's allergic to my cats

[phineas]

Well could be as everyone says.

Slow fade/excuse.

 

Or she's in denial about her smoking being the main cause of her lung issues and looking for another reason/any reason to avoid giving up the cancer sticks.

 

ON the other-hand, I do know someone with pets and their house reeks of dog and cat piss and they just don't seem to notice the smell.

 

I can't even spend time there without my eyes and nose watering and have told them why.

 

So don't know if you are one of those pet owners either.

[preraph]

This is very true. Animals can sense energies and are excellent judges of character

 

I bet they're not too fond of her at all

 

Listen to them

 

One of my favorite cartoons is a curmudgeonly old fart sitting in his armchair looking grumpy and a big old tabby standing on his lap looking at him and thinking, "You hate me. I like that in a man."

[smackie9]

She's being your typical smoker that doesn't want to give up the habit. This has nothing to do with cats or allergies.

 

The habit is disgusting, and since she thinks it's ok to just blame your cats, it's time to find a new GF. Seriously you can do better than her.....this would be a dealbreaker for me.

[Johnson1]

Did she ask you to get rid of your cats?

 

Well, yes and no. When she gets pissed she hates them and can't believe I would choose my cats over her, but when she's nice she says she likes them and doesn't want me to give them away because I've had them so long. I'm convinced she's bi polar. She says a lot of things she doesn't mean, or so I think.

[deep_night]

in my case im allergic to some dogs. im not sure if its the fur or the saliva. there is a specific dog at the neighbourhood that i totally adore, but every time i pick her up and cuddle her i feel my throat getting dry afterwards. and when i sleep on a bed that has dog hairs it happens again. i didnt have that some years ago, i guess it developed suddenly.

 

why dont you two hangout at her house instead? if she has excuses not to, then you'll know that she's avoiding you. if, however, she's happy to spend time with you at her place then it's the allergy thing. and let's be honest, its hard to quit smoking. harder than avoiding your boyfriend's animals anyway.

[Dis]

Well, yes and no. When she gets pissed she hates them and can't believe I would choose my cats over her, but when she's nice she says she likes them and doesn't want me to give them away because I've had them so long. I'm convinced she's bi polar. She says a lot of things she doesn't mean, or so I think.

 

Just because she says things she doesnt mean doesnt mean shes bipolar. People are so quick to "diagnose" others with bipolar...I'm not sure people know how ridiculous that sounds....smh

 

Anyway, your cats are your responsiblity....they rely on you to survive. IMO, because I'm such a huge animal lover...your gf asking you to get rid of them is similar to asking you to get rid of your kid

 

Tbh, your gf sounds like she has some issues (and no they're probably not related to some pseudo diagnose of bipolar) and these issues are having a serious impact on your relationship. She's having health complications which are obviously due to her smoking...but she blames your cats for them??? She knows how long you've had your cats and how they're lives depend on you but shes asking you to get rid of them???

 

At this point I think you need to forget about her problem with your cats, and look at the bigger issue... start to ask yourself if this woman is capable of having a healthy relationship

 

It would be wise to figure this out sooner than later

[Johnson1]

Here's more about who she is and our situation so you have some kind of idea.

 

I'm certain she's bi polar and know I beyond a shadow of a doubt that she's definitely dyslexic. She's smart (street and relationship wise), but has a learning disorder. She hasn't worked for 6 years up until recently because I helped build up her confidence to go back to work. She told me her ex's kept her down and she's resentful toward them because she said she wanted to work, but they wouldn't let her (not sure how much of that is really true since she's a slob who blames her messes on her kids and vice versa).

 

She is now currently employed as a barmaid because that's what she did in the past. She can't read or spell very well which has shattered her confidence. She has a very bad temper and an absolutely horrible attitude at times, not only to me, but towards everyone and everything in her life. Everything comes crashing down and she gets into fits of anger, especially when she drinks.

 

Some of her frustration is deep rooted in the fact that she lost her mom 6 months ago (who was the glue that held her and her kids lives together). She grieves over her a lot. Her and I have been to church with her brother and his wife to help her cope.

 

Because of this, her kids are out of control with the drinking, partying and getting in trouble and she gets into almost daily fights with them over finances and whatnot, but afterwards they forgive each other and she'll go out drinking with them.

 

She had a couple of girlfriends she used to go out partying with, but she stopped hanging out with them. Now her kids seemed to have replaced her friends as her partying pals even though she dictates to them about their drinking and bad behavior to get THEM to stop. Even with all they're fighting they'll still always say 'love you' to each other. Her kids are a lot like her and I think they understand each other in many ways.

 

She has a good heart at times and can be very sweet and loving. She'll sit and stare at me on the couch with this loving look in her eye while I'm watching TV. I can see her out of the corner of my eye and I'll look at her and she'll keep staring and give me a smile and a wink. She tells me she's in love with me all the time.

 

Since she has a learning disability and hasn't worked because of lack of confidence and she has these two older men (65 & 76) who pay her bills. She is 49. She's known them a very long time. They are good friends of her family and they knew her mother (she told me that one of them told her mother that he would take care of her after her moms passing), Both of them love her and would marry her if she gave them the chance, but she says she doesn't want them. She only uses them for their money out of necessity and that she loves me, but needs them and doesn't want to hurt their feelings.

 

I know what she's going is not right, but given the circumstances with her being pampered and taken care of for such a long time because of her learning disability, part of me understands. I don't know why. The only part that I don't like is that they're not allowed to know I exist as her boyfriend otherwise they might cut her off. She goes out with them from time to time for drinks and 3 out of the 5 times she's been out with them she's had one or more of her kids with her.

 

She dresses very sexy even just to go to the store (short, tight dresses, heels, sheer lace panties, perfumed). She is free spirited about her appearance and she continues that tradition when she goes out with these men even though I don't like it. She tells me 'I've been dressing this way her whole life).

 

One day after church with her brother and his wife, she had to take off to meet one of them and hang out to get her rent. Her brother was right there and assured me up and down that everything is good and that I had nothing to worry about with her doing anything with him. Her other brother and her kids confirm the same thing.

 

At any rate, that day she stayed out with him for 7 hours and got hammered with him and her daughter who was with them (supposedly) most of the time. I tried calling and texting, but she wouldn't answer me the whole time. Even her brother and her other daughter were trying to get a hold of her and couldn't. Finally, her one daughter called her other daughter and found out they were all together out drinking.

 

Naturally I was livid afterward. I broke up with her for a few days afterward and swore I'd never take her back, but no matter what happens I always do.

 

She told me they went to a couple of bars and she ended up drinking more than she wanted to and I guess lost herself in the moment, that is until she became belligerent with him like she does with me. When they both got back to her house she ended up in a quarrel with one of her kids and her friends.

 

Both men know how she is when she drinks and have for a long time, but what I can't understand why they keep helping her and putting up with it for no sex. Her brothers (who are good people) can't understand how she gets away with it either.

 

Prior to that, the man she went out with found out about me and went off on her and cut her off for a month, but during one of our breakups she called him and after we got back together she ended up meeting with him that day which she said turned into a total nightmare.

 

She has a men with a lot of money who want her and would be with her, but she told me she doesn't want them. Instead she tells me that she loves me and wants to marry me someday. I get from her all the time, 'if I really wanted to be with them, I would be'. That kind of holds me in place since they've got bucks and I'm currently out of work. I am on unemployment and will be returning to work shortly though and she knows this.

 

We've had some major fights because she get extremely nasty when she drinks, but is always apologetic afterwards. She is unlike anyone I've ever met and what amazes me is these men with money know how she is and are still willing to put up with her.

 

One thing about her is that she does things to get under my skin. She'll make up stories to see my reaction and how jealous I get. She changed things around to confuse me so I don't know what the truth is.

 

I don't know if I am though. I don't know if she does what she does just to make me jealous to see my reaction and really loves and cares, or if I'm being played like a cello. She does help me out at times (reluctantly), but that's only because she spends me into the poorhouse first. I keep trying to get her to save so she doesn't have to be reliant on these guys for money, but she's spends what she earns on top of getting them to pay her bills.

 

She only has two months left on her lease and with the condition her house is in I doubt her landlady will renew it. She doesn't have to meet with sugar daddy #1 this month to collect the rent because he lives and hour away. He's just sending a check.

 

This is the only the second time she's seen him since she's been with me. The first time she went with him to the beach with their entire family. He is the uncle of her daughters husband. While there, I showed up and kept my distance just to observe. She wasn't too happy about it because I risked her rent money by being there, but she understood.

 

Anyway, through word of mouth from relatives he got downwind that I was her boyfriend who was at the beach and he went off on her calling her a whore through and cut her off for a month. She panicked and wondered how her rent was going to get paid since I wasn't able to do it. After that we ended up breaking up......yet again.....for a few days and within that time she contacted him. I have no idea what she said to him to get him back into paying her bills, but I can only imagine. She said my name never came up in their conversation, but I know that's BS. I think she told him she stopped seeing me because now it's back to the same old thing where she'll talk with him in front of me but I have to be silent. It was after this that she hung out with him for those 7 hours. She spoke with him on the phone in front of me and he agreed to help her, but he didn't want to send the money to avoid having to pay the Western Union fee to get the money to her because her rent was due the next day. I wasn't happy about it, naturally. I had to stay away. I had no idea where they went, only that they went out to eat, then to a couple of bars with her daughter for a while, but her daughter wasn't with them the whole time. In her drunkeness I don't know what could've went on when they were alone together, but according to her he made a comment at the last bar they went to that caused her to be in one of her bad moods. She did have bruises on the bottom of her hand because she said she was pounding her hand against the table at the bar.

 

It's hands down the craziest relationship I've ever been in. Crazier than all the past combined. I don't know why I keep putting myself through it. I've tried to get rid of her many times, but she just won't go away. She is determined to stay. I've never had someone keep coming back the way she does. It's nuts, but as much as I hate some of the things she does and try to get away, in some crazy way I can't seem to let her go. I can't explain it. I've never had someone have a psychological hold on me the way she does and it's only because I'm not sure if she's lying or if what she's telling me is the truth.

 

I have a feeling I know what many will say.......'run, don't walk'. I've heard people tell me that, but still I can't resist when she keeps coming back knocking on the door saying she's sorry.

 

What's funny is I sing with 'live' rock bands and can find another pretty woman fairly easily, although it wouldn't be immediate (maybe a month or so), but in the meantime I would be bothered by the fact that I wouldn't know where she was or who she was with. She could get any guy she wants a bar. A part of me wants her (her sweetness and sexyness) and a part of me hates the way she is and wants to get away.

 

Not only that, but I've immersed myself in her life and don't go out singing much anymore because some of the friends I know in certain circles know who she is and can't believe I'm with her. I'm also paranoid of how she's going to act around them when she drinks or whether or not her and I will end up in a fight at the bar. It's insane. Plus she always wants me to stay at her crazy house because she says she's allergic to my cats.

 

Sometimes when we go out we have a good time and she'll be great, sometimes not. It all depends on whether or not accusations start at some point. We went out last night and had a great time.

 

I don't know what to do. I've NEVER had ANYONE mess up my head this way. She keeps coming back apologizing. She makes it hard not to forgive.

 

There's one thing I know for sure is that she says nasty things that she mean (because she does it with her kids as well) and makes up stories that may or may not be true just to get a rise out of me. She says 'I' make 'her' nuts. What I can't understand is why would she keeps coming back if I'm broke and she is resentful over it. I just CANNOT figure this woman out.

 

There was one situation that really made me question her fidelity.

 

One day after I got off work she didn't ask me if I wanted to come to her place or come to mine like she usually did. She was acting very strangely that day so I went over and saw on FB Messenger that a millionaire friend of hers had texted her saying he wasn't sure why he did and maybe because he was thinking of her kisses.

 

Now I know they shared a brief thing is the past, but according to her it was nothing and they haven't seen each other in quite a while and she said they were just friends, but at the time I saw the message he didn't know she has a boyfriend. I wanted her to text him back letting him know in some kind of way that we were in a relationship, but she wouldn't, so I got pissed and left.

 

I didn't see her all night, but she told me the next day that she was sitting with her sick granddaughter all night, but when I saw her text again I noticed that they were texting back and forth at around 1am, at which point she gave him her address and a half hour later he responded with 'which house is yours?'........the next text after that was from him at 10am the next morning saying 'you were supposed to text me back'.

 

After seeing this I was pissed off to the enth degree. She claimed it was all a running joke they have, but I didn't believe it at all. There were no lol's in their conversation. I had her call him and he said they haven't seen each other in a long time, but she didn't tell him she had a boyfriend.

 

Naturally he could be lying because he was concerned about an angry boyfriend coming after him. I don't know what happened for sure. We had spent most of our time together before this happened and this thing with him was out of the blue. The only reason why I stayed was because of what she said. 'If I really wanted to be with him I would be, but I'm with you because I love you'. This guy is a millionaire and I'm not. When this happened she wasn't working and was always mad about being broke, so I know it wasn't about money. He's messaged her several times saying 'hi', but she hasn't replied back.

 

She also plays these games with a couple of ex's. One of whom wants her back badly. She doesn't want him, but has spoken with him briefly here and there makes him think she'll meet with him, but never does. She leads him on because she knows I'll see the messages and get pissed for talking to him.

 

Another ex she stays in contact with who lives 3 hours away. She tells me how madly in love with him she was 4 years ago. They had a 5 year relationship. She says she doesn't want him that way and threatens to go back and hang out with him when I break up with her and tells him through text that she's coming up there, but doesn't. She comes back to me and keeps the messages to make me jealous.

 

I know this is all a big game to her to see how much I really care. Is she really cheating, I can't say for sure. I just don't understand why she keeps coming back if she feels she could get better with these other guys.

[deep_night]

WTF!

 

im sorry to be so blunt, but i dont think all of this is because she's bipolar. i know bipolar people and they all happen to be incredibly decent. the first thing i thought is that her and her family take you for a fool. what's going on is beyond unacceptable. RUUUUN! and go to a therapist asap, you totally need it (im saying this in the friendliest way possible, its nothing to be ashamed of)

[deep_night]

I know this is all a big game to her to see how much I really care. Is she really cheating, I can't say for sure. I just don't understand why she keeps coming back if she feels she could get better with these other guys.

 

why go steady with one of them and lose the rest of the benefits?

and i think she's coming back because, well, she can... and proves to herself she has power over you. im sorry but im very disgusted, you need to do something, it's ridiculous... i was very calm today until i read that post. this kind of things just cant be happening :|

[WomenWubber]

Just by the lenght of that post (not reading all that sorry, I suggest posting a tl;dr) I know you are in need of a relative, friend or therapist and you shouldn't be dealing with other ppl's petty problems.

[basil67]

I read most of your post #32 and there's nothing which screams bipolar to me. I found this online which describes to a tee the bipolar I see in a couple of friends who have been diagnosed with it. They cycle between the two areas of highs and lows. When the high ends, they crash down and gradually build up till they are at the peak of the next high.

 

Mania Symptoms

Mania symptoms may include excessive happiness, excitement, irritability, restlessness, increased energy, less need for sleep, racing thoughts, high sex drive, and a tendency to make grand and unattainable plans.

 

Depression Symptoms

Depression symptoms may include sadness, anxiety, irritability, loss of energy, uncontrollable crying, change in appetite causing weight loss or gain, increased need for sleep, difficulty making decisions, and thoughts of death or suicide.

 

Does cycling between these highs and lows describe her?

 

That said, she's a right mess. What kind of learning disability are you talking about here? Is it just dyslexia or does she an intellectual disability? If it's the latter, this could cause significant problems with planning, making sensible decisions for herself, social skill development, boundaries etc.

[LexiB]

She should try allergy shots.

 

Don't give up your cats.

[Lois_Griffin]

Everything comes crashing down and she gets into fits of anger, especially when she drinks.

Because of this, her kids are out of control with the drinking, partying and getting in trouble and she gets into almost daily fights with them over finances and whatnot, but afterwards they forgive each other and she'll go out drinking with them.

Both of them love her and would marry her if she gave them the chance, but she says she doesn't want them. She only uses them for their money out of necessity and that she loves me, but needs them and doesn't want to hurt their feelings.

She dresses very sexy even just to go to the store (short, tight dresses, heels, sheer lace panties, perfumed). She is free spirited about her appearance and she continues that tradition when she goes out with these men even though I don't like it. She tells me 'I've been dressing this way her whole life).

At any rate, that day she stayed out with him for 7 hours and got hammered with him and her daughter who was with them (supposedly) most of the time. I tried calling and texting, but she wouldn't answer me the whole time. Even her brother and her other daughter were trying to get a hold of her and couldn't. Finally, her one daughter called her other daughter and found out they were all together out drinking.

^^^^^ That's some class act you've got for a 'girlfriend.' ^^^^^

Both men know how she is when she drinks and have for a long time, but what I can't understand why they keep helping her and putting up with it for no sex. Her brothers (who are good people) can't understand how she gets away with it either.

Sorry, but her brothers aren't ALWAYS there every single minute she's ever spent with these guys. They can ONLY speak for the times they were with her.

She has a men with a lot of money who want her and would be with her, but she told me she doesn't want them. Instead she tells me that she loves me and wants to marry me someday. I get from her all the time, 'if I really wanted to be with them, I would be'. That kind of holds me in place since they've got bucks and I'm currently out of work. I am on unemployment and will be returning to work shortly though and she knows this.

Sooo....she's basically for sale to the highest bidder. Got it.

We've had some major fights because she get extremely nasty when she drinks, but is always apologetic afterwards. She is unlike anyone I've ever met and what amazes me is these men with money know how she is and are still willing to put up with her.

Wow. You really ARE naive aren't you? She 'works' for her rent, trust me. Men don't subsidize d*ck teases year after year after year without getting SOMETHING for it. Stop being so naive.

Anyway, through word of mouth from relatives he got downwind that I was her boyfriend who was at the beach and he went off on her calling her a whore through and cut her off for a month.

Yeah. Sugar daddies don't like their toys messing around with other guys when they're paying for her services. And they ARE paying for services.

I have no idea what she said to him to get him back into paying her bills, but I can only imagine.

LOL. It's not what she 'said,' it's what she DID for him (or promised to do the next time she sees him). Geez.

I have a feeling I know what many will say.......'run, don't walk'. I've heard people tell me that, but still I can't resist when she keeps coming back knocking on the door saying she's sorry.

Just be sure to get regular STD tests.

She could get any guy she wants a bar. A part of me wants her (her sweetness and sexyness) and a part of me hates the way she is and wants to get away.

You don't get out much, do you? Your whole existence (and hers) centers around drinking and bars.

Plus she always wants me to stay at her crazy house because she says she's allergic to my cats.

Your cats are the LEAST of your problems with this hot mess you're dating.

After seeing this I was pissed off to the enth degree. She claimed it was all a running joke they have, but I didn't believe it at all. There were no lol's in their conversation. I had her call him and he said they haven't seen each other in a long time, but she didn't tell him she had a boyfriend.

I repeat. Get regular STD testing.

 

While cats suck, they actually suck LESS than your girlfriend, who apparently is engaged in one of the oldest professions on earth. So I'd keep the cats and dump the trollop.

Edited August 22, 2016 by Lois_Griffin

[Gaeta]

Amazing, just amazing a man is willing to date that woman. Talk about trailer park drama. Don't you miss the days you were along with your cat? I would.

[Johnson1]

Amazing, just amazing a man is willing to date that woman. Talk about trailer park drama. Don't you miss the days you were along with your cat? I would.

 

I know. One of the biggest mistakes of my life, no doubt.

 

I do miss the cats Gaeta. No way I'm getting rid of them for anyone. I'll be spending more time with them because I dumped her sorry azz yesterday.

 

On our way out of the bar where she works she stopped for several drinks so she could talk to some built, muscle dude at the end of the bar who was bragging about his job and showing pics of himself and all his toys to her trying to impress her and she treated me like sh** in his presence. All for tip money. What a b****.

 

I'm done. I don't need trash in my life. I took it out, now let someone else haul it away. She has a major attitude problem. She kicked in her own windshield last night with her heels and scratched my arm and my face. I couldn't calm her down. When she drinks she gets exactly like Dudley Moore in Arthur, only violent. She wanted to drive totally wasted. I mean staggering drunk. Fricken nut case.

 

I don't need her. I get out as much as I like. I make guest appearances doing lead vocals for a few rock bands that I know. On Saturday I sang Chris Cornell onstage at a motorcycle dealership where they have a huge grassy knoll area out back. Their must have been 300 people there. It was fun.

 

I have no problem meeting attractive women, but I think I'm done with relationships and dating for a while. It's all BS. This one took a lot out of me. More than past ones combined. I'm just going to focus on music and my career. I am a good person who never cheats who doesn't deserve being sh** on. I'm not going through this again unless I'm absolutely sure the next one has a good heart.

Edited August 22, 2016 by Vocals5

[No_Go]

She kicked in her own windshield last night with her heels and scratched my arm and my face. I couldn't calm her down. When she drinks she gets exactly like Dudley Moore in Arthur, only violent. She wanted to drive totally wasted. I mean staggering drunk. Blah, congratulations for getting rid of her. Just reading the above made me sooo uncomfortable, I can't believe you put up with this violent drunk for so long.

 

I know. One of the biggest mistakes of my life, no doubt.

 

I do miss the cats Gaeta. No way I'm getting rid of them for anyone. I'll be spending more time with them because I dumped her sorry azz yesterday.

 

On our way out of the bar where she works she stopped for several drinks so she could talk to some built, muscle dude at the end of the bar who was bragging about his job and showing pics of himself and all his toys to her trying to impress her and she treated me like sh** in his presence. All for tip money. What a b****.

 

I'm done. I don't need trash in my life. I took it out, now let someone else haul it away. She has a major attitude problem. She kicked in her own windshield last night with her heels and scratched my arm and my face. I couldn't calm her down. When she drinks she gets exactly like Dudley Moore in Arthur, only violent. She wanted to drive totally wasted. I mean staggering drunk. Fricken nut case.

 

I don't need her. I get out as much as I like. I make guest appearances doing lead vocals for a few rock bands that I know. On Saturday I sang Chris Cornell onstage at a motorcycle dealership where they have a huge grassy knoll area out back. Their must have been 300 people there. It was fun.

 

I have no problem meeting attractive women, but I think I'm done with relationships and dating for a while. It's all BS. This one took a lot out of me. More than past ones combined. I'm just going to focus on music and my career. I am a good person who never cheats who doesn't deserve being sh** on. I'm not going through this again unless I'm absolutely sure the next one has a good heart.