Johnson1 Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 I've been going with my girlfriend for about 6 months. She's a smoker and has had a constant bad cough since we first started going together. She was diagnosed with bronchitis a couple of months ago and even though the doctor told her she needs to stop smoking to clear it up, she won't. She claims it's my cats that are causing the problem. In the beginning she had no problem spending a lot of my time at my place (staying over for several days at a time) with no apparent problem, but after a few months she's spent less and less time at my place to the point where if she comes here for just a few hours she's complains that my cats are causing her to 'not feel well'. She claims she's allergic to cats.
GorillaTheater Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 I'm not sure what you're question is. Do you think she's lying about being allergic to your cats? 3
Author Johnson1 Posted August 19, 2016 Author Posted August 19, 2016 I'm not sure what you're question is. Do you think she's lying about being allergic to your cats? I'm not sure. I just find it odd that in the beginning she spent so much time at my place and never complained, but now it's a major issue to where she's reluctant to come over for and stay for a few hours.
GorillaTheater Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 Well, she's either truly allergic to your cats or she's doing a slow fade on you (or hell, both for all I know). Do you have any other evidence one way or the other?
Toodaloo Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 Keep the cats, ditch the girl. My dogs have seen me through one long term and several short term relationships. No way would I get rid of them. Absolutely not. Nah uh. No. Love me - love my dogs. Simple as. Vocals she spent loads of time at yours before with out problem and now she is moaning. Its an excuse. Time for her to go because she is going to anyway (and probably blame your cats when she does). 12
Author Johnson1 Posted August 19, 2016 Author Posted August 19, 2016 She's a major hypochondriac (and even her family knows it).
dpass Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 Then buy her some non-drowsy allergy pills and call it a day. Never get rid of pets for a relationship. Relationships come and go, pets are a commitment that you agreed to the day you got them. 7
O'Malley Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 Until she's had tests run by her doctor she can't be certain that she is allergic to anything, including your cats. Just my take but I'd cut my losses with someone who said they couldn't be around my pets, there's no long term potential without significantly changing your lifestyle and impacting the well being of your pets. 2
Gaeta Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 My daughter is allergic to cats and it's not just the coughing! her eyes are watery, she itches, her throat itches and gets tight, her face gets puffy, etc. I would not call just coughing a cat allergy. Give your girlfriend some Benadryl and if she does not get better than it's not the cats. 3
RecentChange Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 I agree with others, and your gut that this is just an excuse. That said, I am a pet owner, and I do have some "allergic" friends - and I will take some extra steps before they come over, if I had an allergic BF, I imagine I would do the same. For instance I vacuum often, but will be sure to vacuum a few hours before they get here (remove danger from the floor, and let enough time to pass after vacuuming for the air to settle). I'll make sure the couch cushion covers are freshly laundered. And I will banish the cats (and any pet beds etc) to the back end of the house - leaving the dining and living room "safe". Best compliment from a guy I know who is SUPER allergic - you have cats? I couldn't tell! But I couldn't date a smoker - much less a congested and hacking smoker - gross. 5
SammySammy Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 I'm allergic to cats also. I had to stop visiting a long-term friend because his sister moved in with her cat. I went to visit him a few days after she arrived and, after only a few minutes of being there, my eyes started watering. I started itching and sneezing. Welts appeared on my exposed skin. I asked my friend did he get a cat and he said yes. His sister had one, but it was in a closed bedroom. Didn't matter. I never saw the cat, but had to leave because I was miserable. I've never been able to coexist with indoor cats. From a child to now. With or without Benadryl. Smoking could be contributing to this woman's problems, but it's definitely possible to be allergic to cats.
Ami1uwant Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 I'm not sure. I just find it odd that in the beginning she spent so much time at my place and never complained, but now it's a major issue to where she's reluctant to come over for and stay for a few hours. A few th8ngs you d9nt understand..... 1. Some allergies can develop over long term exposure. Especially if it's a mild allergu. 2. Early on you could have had your place really clean which is why it took longer but your place isn't as vlean. 3. You are thinking she is lying. I'm allergic to both ca5s snd d9gs. D9gs I am worse than cats. Dander bothers me as does saliva..the saliva has a protein in it. Even hypoallergenic pets still have the protein. My brother has had dogs for years. When I visit and stay in his house I take extra meds like steroids and I have an asthma machine to give me breathing treatments. I usually need this on niggt 1 of my visit. My ex wife parents had a cat. When visiting there the problems kicked in after a few nights. Fir me nights are the worst. If she has allergies she lily has some asthma so her smoking is idiotic. Her saying she cant quit is bs. 1
Gaeta Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 I've been going with my girlfriend for about 6 months. She's a smoker and has had a constant bad cough since we first started going together. She was diagnosed with bronchitis a couple of months ago and even though the doctor told her she needs to stop smoking to clear it up, she won't. She claims it's my cats that are causing the problem. Are you a smoker yourself? Why would you date someone with such destructive habit? My mother smoked for 40 years till the day she had cancer. When she had cancer we all told her to stop smoking that it caused her cancer. 20 years after beating her cancer she still claims that smoking did not cause her cancer. This is the state of mind your girlfriend is in. Her coughing cannot possibly be caused by bronchitis, right! when she gets cancer she'll still think it's your cat that caused it. 1
Saracena Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 She may well believe she is actually allergic to them, though it doesn't sound likely if she's never found she's allergic before now as most people come into contact with cats at some point in their lives. Lots of my friends are true allergy sufferers-we have cats-but invariably all knew about this from an early age. Sounds to me as if this is an excuse.....for whatever reason.
No_Go Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 She probably have a mild allergy. No big deal - put the cats in another room while she's there. My bf told me he's allergic to cats (he had a positive test indeed), however since he knew I won't move in without my cat - we make a compromise. He has HIPPA filters in our bedroom, and the cat sleeps in another room. They stay in the same room the res of the time with no issues which makes me think he's not really allergic... But I don't plan to question it because the current situation works well for me, him and the cat
preraph Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 Look, often people like me have bronchitis because of allergies. I love cats and my bad allergies didn't stop my parents from having them, but I was miserable a lot and on drowsy allergy pills daily. Now I have COPD and it's all bronchial, not in my lungs, even though I did smoke when younger. No reason to think she's lying but either way the answer is the same: Don't give you your pets for someone. You're not going to stay with her I don't think. If she wanted to help herself, she could stop smoking and then stay out of your house and away from cats for a couple of years while she takes allergy shots to immunize herself. She probably just doesn't like cats or enjoys having them to blame, but she may be allergic Doesn't matter. Keep the cats. Let her either go or not come over.
luna97 Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 Whatever you do, just DONT get rid of the cats, PLEASE! I work in animal rescue and I've heard countless stories of people giving up their pets because their bf/gf didn't like them, or exactly your story, they were "allergic". It ended up being one of their biggest regrets. 6
RecentChange Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 Yeah just a PSA regarding cats and allergies. Like I alluded to in my post, keeping things clean helps. Washing your cat helps!! Most people are allergic to cat's saliva - which gets on their coat when they clean themselves, dries, and ends up as dander in the house. So, dusting, vacuuming, washing items cats sleep on - and yes, giving your cats bathes (mine tolerate them!) Helps. Getting rid of the cat should not be an option.
longjohn Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 Dump her and move along. Don't settle for people that are addicts. They need to get their act together. You shouldn't be accepting being second to what she wants. What she wants is to smoke without any objections. I've seen a lot of smokers shift the blame on to everything and anything vs accepting it's their actions. 2
LadyLike30 Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 Dump her and move along. Don't settle for people that are addicts. They need to get their act together. You shouldn't be accepting being second to what she wants. What she wants is to smoke without any objections. I've seen a lot of smokers shift the blame on to everything and anything vs accepting it's their actions. Yeah, and tell her that you're allegic to he nasty smoking habit. See how she likes that. I bet she smells like an ash tray. 2
Dis Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 Keep the cats, ditch the girl. My dogs have seen me through one long term and several short term relationships. No way would I get rid of them. Absolutely not. Nah uh. No. Love me - love my dogs. Simple as. Vocals she spent loads of time at yours before with out problem and now she is moaning. Its an excuse. Time for her to go because she is going to anyway (and probably blame your cats when she does). I whole heartedly agree with this My pets are my everything and always will be. The day I adopted them was the day I vowed to take care of them for the rest of their lives. They've offered me comfort and affection at times when I had no one else. They've always been a constant...while the men I dated came and went My ex and I were together for 2 and a half years...he complained about one of my cats constantly...he wanted me to get rid of him....during that time our relationship was going down hill....so I said, I'm not getting rid of him esp because you'll be out of here soon....a few months later...my ex's stuff was packed in boxes on the front lawn and my sweet kitty was in my bed cuddling me to sleep I think your gf is just using your cats as an excuse to distance herself from you. Do yourself a favor and get rid or her and get your cats a new kitty tower and some treats 2
LadyLike30 Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 Yeah, first it's the pets, then your favorite chair. Hey, do your cats like her? Pets can tell when people don't like them. The cat will tell on her. 2
Dis Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 Yeah, first it's the pets, then your favorite chair. Hey, do your cats like her? Pets can tell when people don't like them. The cat will tell on her. This is very true. Animals can sense energies and are excellent judges of character I bet they're not too fond of her at all Listen to them 1
blackcat777 Posted August 20, 2016 Posted August 20, 2016 My dad caved and begrudgingly decided to declaw his cat for a girlfriend when she moved in. That girlfriend is long gone and it still breaks my heart to see my kitty declawed. She gained a lot of weight after the declawing, and almost a decade later, is still super sensitive about her paws. Don't ever compromise anything with your pets for a relationship... 3
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