Sweets1919 Posted July 3, 2005 Posted July 3, 2005 I have been on a few dates since my ex and I broke up in May. It seems like the guy I'm with will ask about "so when was your last boyfriend?" and "why did you guys break up?" I don't think it's the best to go into all the details: LDR, age difference, he was not ready for a serious relationship like I was, he cheated, we worked it out once, he lied to me again, it fell apart. I have heard you should just say "oh, it didn't work out"...that seems a bit superficial and phoney to me....but if it is the first or second date, is that all the information that the date should really get? I think if I asked a guy the questions and he said that his relationships in the past had fallen apart because they just "didn't work out", it might seem like he's not being truthful/genuine with me. Sweets.
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 3, 2005 Posted July 3, 2005 I've been asked that many times by woman I am just starting to date. I alway's answer something short and sweet without giving away to many details and I alway's add something like " later on after we get to know each other better and you want to know more I don't have any problems giving you more details " If you give away too many details too fast it can say many things ie: you are not over your ex or you can leave too many holes in your explanation that they fill the holes themselves.
Becki Posted July 3, 2005 Posted July 3, 2005 im in a bit of a similar situation actually. this guy im sorta...seeing shall we say, i know a lot about his past/ex's etc, because i happened to be around when a conversation was going on about him. so for me it was easy. I dont ask questions, and i dont seem like im trying to pry into his personal life when ive only known him a short time! I cant say im too pleased about his past, but his past is his past and nobody can change that. But as of yet, unless a similar situation for him has occured (him happening to be there when a discussion about me was taking place) then he doesnt yet know that i was in a 2.5 year relationship, or one of the guys he cannot stand, i slept with! Either way, i dont want him to ask, and i hope he wont! but if this does become serious, its gonna have to come out at some point right?? wel at least about the LT relationship...as for a 19 year old its taken up quite a large amount of my life (perhaps too much in my opinion!) in a way im enjoying what weve got at the moment, sorta like a FWB kinda thing, but with a little bit more! i cant really explain it, but i dont want him to know i was in a relationship only 6 weeks ago as he might think thats what im after, or will think hes got something to live upto, or even that im on the rebound. I still cant decide what im going to do! i guess if he ever asks then i will tell him, but im not gonna go out my way to let him know all about my past! not yet anyway!
VirginiaBob Posted July 3, 2005 Posted July 3, 2005 Tell the new guy that your ex was so big and that it hindered your ability to enjoy anal sex. So you broke it off to find a guy with smaller equipment. That'll shut him up!
crazy_grl Posted July 3, 2005 Posted July 3, 2005 Originally posted by Becki im in a bit of a similar situation actually. this guy im sorta...seeing shall we say, i know a lot about his past/ex's etc, because i happened to be around when a conversation was going on about him. so for me it was easy. I dont ask questions, and i dont seem like im trying to pry into his personal life when ive only known him a short time! I cant say im too pleased about his past, but his past is his past and nobody can change that. I think it's a mistake to take a conversation you heard about him to be the absolute truth inless he was part of the convo. Rumors and gossip are often full of inaccuracies and often outright lies. As for the original question. You don't need to give every detail, but saying, "it didn't work out" is just as bad. It does make it seem like you're hiding something. You can be brief, but forthcoming at the same time. Say you don't want to ruin the date by getting into too many negative details, but that there were a few problems, and say what the main problem was.
Becki Posted July 4, 2005 Posted July 4, 2005 im always a bit skeptical when it comes to opinions from other people on someone else's life etc. but i wasnt taking part of the convo and they didnt know i liked him at the time. Plus the guys talking about him have known him a few years, and hes worked for them and good friends with a couple of them! so even if they were all lying it seems a bit weird... either way, ive decided that if he asks about my ex, i will tell him why we split up(im not a person to hide things...so it could prove to be the end of this "thing" we have going), but unless he asks im not gonna tell him how long ago it was!
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