Fuerza Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 So after a bazillion Tinder dates I actually met with someone yesterday where I felt an immediate connection with. I usually can tell right away if I feel a connection with someone or not and with this guy I could even feel a bit of butterflies (I sound like such a teen ). To get to the point, he felt the same way and was very expressive about it, during the date he told me he couldn't believe he finally met someone like me. Saying things like 'where have you been all my life' or 'I can't wait to see where this is going'. When I got home we were texting and he was sending me kisses, asking me if I like to hug, calling me sweety - it was a bit too much. I haven't heard from him today and we're meeting up next week again, but this guy is way ahead of things, we met once and he's already this clingy? It's kind of cute that he's into me but on the other hand it's a bit obsessive and too premature to say things like this to me as we only met once. How do I even handle this? If I wasn't into him I would have blocked him right away as he kind of sounds like a stalker to be (he did say he can be very possessive and jealous once in a relationship so I'm a bit wary). Has anyone had experiences with guys that lay it on very thick that they like you?
PrettyEmily77 Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 These things are cute until they're not, and then they quickly become suffocating and overbearing. He's likely acting out of insecurity (lack of experience and/or lack of success) possibly on the back of a R that ended very badly. This can spiral out of control (jealousy, control, paranoia - not fun). So you can either flee now or get to know him better but on your terms, by setting the pace - no constant communication, no falling for the 'but it only takes a minute of your day to send a text' line (my personal bug bear, from experience) - yes it only takes a minute + your willingness. If you feel you have to do it to avoid a scene, then all the fun and excitement are gone. You would need to be understanding but firm in your expectations - if you feel overwhelmed, address it; don't feel bad about it or think you're being too hard on him. He's already warned you he was the jealous, controlling type - the fact he is self-aware doesn't make it better. He's already excusing himself of future behaviour. 4
somecamel Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 I agree with PrettyEmily77; it's good that you guys have things in common but on the other hand he does sound pretty desperate and could just be agreeing with everything you say. I had a similar experience recently, met a nice girl, she fell in love (lust) with me way too quickly and couldn't understand when I asked her to slow things down. It ended in tears as expected. I would air caution but give him a chance. 1
Author Fuerza Posted August 19, 2016 Author Posted August 19, 2016 Appreciate the advise guys! I'll see where it ends next weekend and try to get to know him better. Even though we have some things in common, I have noticed there are things about him that I'm not into so it's probably going to be a dealbreaker for him. Curious how he'll respond!
Larryville Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 This goes to one of the current threads about immediately asking for a date right away. Someone mentioned about how “competitive” online dating is for so many guys. So when someone lands what he thinks is an “unbelievable” catch they latch on and say this... 'where have you been all my life' or 'I can't wait to see where this is going'. Frankly comes from people who are desperate and are usually socially awkward, those lines are a bunch of romantic movie BS lines and those folks who spit that crap out usually don’t mean it. No seasoned dater utters such trifling cheesy stuff because "realistic" people simply know better.
stillafool Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 It sounds like whatever he's done is working for him if you already have butterflies over the things he's said. When the flame burns too high at the beginning the fire usually goes out fast.
Redhead14 Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 So after a bazillion Tinder dates I actually met with someone yesterday where I felt an immediate connection with. I usually can tell right away if I feel a connection with someone or not and with this guy I could even feel a bit of butterflies (I sound like such a teen ). To get to the point, he felt the same way and was very expressive about it, during the date he told me he couldn't believe he finally met someone like me. Saying things like 'where have you been all my life' or 'I can't wait to see where this is going'. When I got home we were texting and he was sending me kisses, asking me if I like to hug, calling me sweety - it was a bit too much. I haven't heard from him today and we're meeting up next week again, but this guy is way ahead of things, we met once and he's already this clingy? It's kind of cute that he's into me but on the other hand it's a bit obsessive and too premature to say things like this to me as we only met once. How do I even handle this? If I wasn't into him I would have blocked him right away as he kind of sounds like a stalker to be (he did say he can be very possessive and jealous once in a relationship so I'm a bit wary). Has anyone had experiences with guys that lay it on very thick that they like you? Yep and they usually burn out quickly and especially after they have sex with the woman . . . he's likely "lovebombing". OR They get into instant relationships. From date 1, the girl is his girlfriend. it's a bit obsessive and too premature he did say he can be very possessive and jealous once in a relationship Run away, far away . . . 1
Gaeta Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 It happened to me more than once. At first you want to give them the benefit of the doubt but after another date you will understand they are out of control. In my case I have asked them to slow down and it didn't work. They told me they understood they needed to tone it down but in actions and words they never did. Usually the 3rd date is the one that has all hell break loose and you terminate it. Now, please please please don't go think this guy is head over heels for you after 1 date. It's a game and it's called love bombing. He does it to you and he does it to other women too, don't kid yourself. Those exact words were said to me by a man once, a man that seems very genuine, not the player's type till one day he sent me a text by accident that was meant to another woman and he was saying to those exact same words to her as well. 3
smackie9 Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 Ya love bombing and "where have you been all my life" is in the players hand book.
Author Fuerza Posted August 19, 2016 Author Posted August 19, 2016 It sounds like whatever he's done is working for him if you already have butterflies over the things he's said. When the flame burns too high at the beginning the fire usually goes out fast. Haha I definitely did not have butterflies over the things he's said, it's more the opposite tbh, turns me off so bad. When we met on the date we had an instant connection, the more it progressed the more clingy he got and that's when my question marks came up and I started backing up. He's a good guy but holy ****, I do not understand guys like this, if he keeps being this clingy I might just cancel Monday. What's the fun in dating if I know he'll try to kiss me on the next date or who knows what else
Author Fuerza Posted August 19, 2016 Author Posted August 19, 2016 Can I just say I'm glad this forum exists and that it's awesome that you guys take the time to give advise and put people like me, back with their both feet on the ground? Thanks a lot!!!! 1
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