Buttercup84 Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 I am 32 and Luke is 31. Luke and I have been seeing each other for a month now. We had sex the other week and will go for dinner next week. My problem is that I think he is losing interest. Last week we had dinner and drinks, he was being affectionate etc. He asked me if he can get free tickets for something if I would go with him ( he works for a venue). No date set, more of a if he can score some if it comes up. Good thing, right ? Sex was great and he was cuddling me all night and all morning before we had to go to work. He walked me to his car, stopped me and kissed me before we got in. I knew he would be very busy with his job in the next few weeks. So we did not see each other this week. Texts have been a few, but he did ask me if I knew of this place and if I wanted to go. Few weeks into dating, he went on vacation and he messaged me almost every day. Cute, sexy and funny messages. Now they are getting less. Now I do not need hours of texting, but a message here and there would be nice. But when we are together it is different. He is always asking me things about myself, looking at me in a smitten way, puts his arm around me, never looks at his phone. My friend says maybe he is not just a texter. He does act more keen when we are together. Should I be worried ?
smudge21 Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 I will take a wild guess that you've been hurt and let down a few times in the past and maybe now are projecting those fears onto this relationship. I see nothing in what you said to cause concern. It's still very early on (are you actually official dating, like calling each other gf/bf?) and right now is the feeling out stage. People are reactive to how others are, so initially his texting may have copied yours, but now he's gone back to how he naturally is. I don't know for definite, but it just seems this is going at a steady pace and you're just worried for other reasons, maybe. You say yourself that he's all loved up when with you and unless you have any other concerns or doubts, then I would just let this play out. It's okay to be unsure when getting involved with someone new, but just make sure it's not just your own past fears that are now controlling your present life.
lillymae1010 Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 I'd lay off the text messaging especially when it's in lieu of connecting face to face. I'm not saying go radio silent but maybe just don't actively engage even when he tries to initiate "conversation" via text. Keep your responses short, sweet and respectful (but not passive aggressively!). Bottom line is that you can't control how he feels about you. Though you can set your standards for what you want even in non-verbal ways. If he wants more then he is capable of moving more than just his fingers on his phone. That's just my opinion
Redhead14 Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 I am 32 and Luke is 31. Luke and I have been seeing each other for a month now. We had sex the other week and will go for dinner next week. My problem is that I think he is losing interest. Last week we had dinner and drinks, he was being affectionate etc. He asked me if he can get free tickets for something if I would go with him ( he works for a venue). No date set, more of a if he can score some if it comes up. Good thing, right ? Sex was great and he was cuddling me all night and all morning before we had to go to work. He walked me to his car, stopped me and kissed me before we got in. I knew he would be very busy with his job in the next few weeks. So we did not see each other this week. Texts have been a few, but he did ask me if I knew of this place and if I wanted to go. Few weeks into dating, he went on vacation and he messaged me almost every day. Cute, sexy and funny messages. Now they are getting less. Now I do not need hours of texting, but a message here and there would be nice. But when we are together it is different. He is always asking me things about myself, looking at me in a smitten way, puts his arm around me, never looks at his phone. My friend says maybe he is not just a texter. He does act more keen when we are together. Should I be worried ? Should I be worried ? My problem is that I think he is losing interest -- You don't know, until you know . . . you're having the "what ifs". What if he's losing interest, what if he's stringing me along? If you're living by what ifs, you're missing what's now. Are you doing anything reciprocal? In other words are you still sitting back and letting him lead everything? If so, you're at a point where it's OK to initiate conversations or ask him out somewhere. If he's feeling like he's doing all the work, he may become hesitant at least. Otherwise, just sit back and relax and observe right now. Let him reach out to you and observe how much time passes. If it's a week or more, he's moving on.
lillymae1010 Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 (edited) I completely misread the original post. Sorry about that I'm sleepy. I stick to the idea that text messaging in itself sucks either way. Trust your instinct. There's no need to be worried but you can be mindful and try not to take it personally. Edited August 19, 2016 by lillymae1010 sdfadf
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