Sweets1919 Posted July 3, 2005 Posted July 3, 2005 I guess I am trying to figure out if I'm being "strong" (like people on here have been telling me I am) by not responding to any of my ex's attempts to contact me over the last week (one text, 7 phone calls, 2 voicemails) or if I am being a chicken and avoiding my feelings. When we broke up in May I was angry and hurt. I thought we would be friends (like he said) and attempt to continue a relationship...only to be met with disappointment when he would take up to a week to respond to text messages I sent and then he did not even acknowledge the nice things I had said or questions I had asked. I felt hurt again. So I came to see it all as a learning experience and eventually the tears and sadness (partly over being single again!) stopped. I went on a couple dates and became excited about meeting someone new that I can laugh with and with whom I have lots of things in common. So now that the ex has been calling (I have missed most of the calls and just see it on call display), I have been thinking about him more. I know that a relationship with him is not what I want. It was LDR, he has cheated, he is 6 years younger than me and not where I am in life. The fact that he showed so much lack of respect for me and my feelings is very hard to forget. But I still feel a bit angry for his treatment towards me. Is that natural? I understand about having a loving heart etc. and not holding on to bitterness, but the angry feelings are still there that he did that (lying etc) to me. Does it just disappear over time? I don't want it to negatively impact future relationships, but I also don't want to be a sap and just let him in my life again to hurt me over and over. I was thinking of calling him and hoping that the negative feelings would go away, but I'm afraid that it might only make things worse. I was doing so "well" up until this past week....I had cut off contact from my end for two weeks and felt really good. I still do, but now he is on my mind. I would prefer to just not respond to anything he has done (called, texted)...but do u think that is the healthiest thing for me to do??? Thanks, Sweets.
shygurl Posted July 3, 2005 Posted July 3, 2005 You likely have not a thing to gain by contacting him - but you do risk getting sucked back into the vortex of emotions and all that jazz. You said it - it was an LDR, he CHEATED you on, he's significantly younger (which means likely a lot more immature) - doesn't sound like the kind of man you'd hope for a future with. LDR and cheating often go hand in hand because of the obvious - the cheater can get away with it and have fun for some time before being busted (if ever caught)...and many men seek out LDR's exactly for this reason - so they can "have someone" but also have fun. I had to learn this myself the hard way 6 yrs ago. Since then, I will not ever date someone who doesn't live locally. You do what you feel is right but I'm pretty sure that if you call or start to contact him again, it's really going to wreak havoc on your heart and you're going to be all confused and then you're going to feel angry at yourself for giving in.
Author Sweets1919 Posted July 3, 2005 Author Posted July 3, 2005 Thanks for the support. I know that I don't want to call him at all. I am not even curious why he is calling. Like I said in a previous post, I know that as of a few weeks ago he was already dating someone else (who was "in love" with him) so it, sadly enough, does not come as a surprise that as soon as he has found a new girl to "be with" and whose emotions are wrapped up in him, that he comes a calling on the ex (me)...b/c this guy is never happy with what he has when he has it. Thanks!
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