Aurelian1960 Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 I'm 56 and getting back into dating after recovering from divorce. I just want to hear others experiences with dating at this age. Personally I am finding many have baggage they have not dealt with and its following them. I just want to throw it open for discussion.
soconfused47 Posted August 22, 2016 Posted August 22, 2016 I am a little younger than you(47), but have been dating for about 1 1/2 yrs since the ending of my 25 yr marriage. I agree with you about the baggage. In all honesty, I had some of my own when I first got out there, but through lots of therapy and dating around, I feel I have dealt with most of it pretty successfully . What I have learned so far is that once you divorce and start dating, you really need an extensive amount of time to "play the field". Especially if you were married a long time. It just makes sense. Some people seem to think they are going to jump in and find the person of their dreams right off, but it seems very rare from what I've seen. Also, be wary of widows. I dated a widow and I felt I was in his wife's shadow the entire relationship. I guess some of it was my own insecurity, but it was too much for me to compete with. So here I am... debating if I should go the online dating route again since it is so hard for me to meet singles my age or just chill out and try to let it happen organically. It is very hard to know who is or isn't single when they are 40+. Anyway, that is my story so far. 1
Author Aurelian1960 Posted August 24, 2016 Author Posted August 24, 2016 I am of the opinion now that if it happens it happens, if not it wont. I have a lot of diverse interests and they keep me busy. Looking on OLD was a joke. Too many fake accounts and, again, baggage. I do a lot better face to face especially for non verbal communication. I found one woman that would be a perfect fit. She's a married friend and that is WAY off the table. Oh well.
preraph Posted August 24, 2016 Posted August 24, 2016 Anyone with any spunk whatever is going to no longer be young and carefree once they're past the point of their, say, early 30s. If they have what it takes to live a life and form relationships, then chances are they have also experiences frustration and heartbreak. Also, they mostly already have kids, though if you date at your age, then they'll have grandkids and maybe have more time, or not, if they've agreed to be their kids' daycare center.
Toodaloo Posted August 25, 2016 Posted August 25, 2016 I'm 56 and getting back into dating after recovering from divorce. I just want to hear others experiences with dating at this age. Personally I am finding many have baggage they have not dealt with and its following them. I just want to throw it open for discussion. I am younger than you and have exactly the same problems... I think its generic to be honest. Its not something that can be attributed to men, women or age groups. Its just people. I think most of the people trying to date (especially on line dating) are really not in a good place to do so and are treating it like Amazon or a quick fix pill to the hurt they are feeling. Expecting someone else to be able to make them happy. They seem to think that all their problems in life will be solved if they have a partner... Then you get the next lot who are just plain weird or creepy or just after sex and using people for what they can get out of them. These are the strange ones, you will get a funny feeling about them or feel a bit uncomfortable and not quite know why. Then you get the minority. These are the ones who have sorted themselves out, put the bad days behind them and discovered how to cope with the ex etc. They are the ones you need to dig out and search for because they are the diamonds. Good luck. My only advice is that if you do not feel comfortable and happy about what is going on or who you are talking to then just walk away. You owe absolutely nothing to anyone. All this stuff about "give them a chance" its poppycock. You feel uncomfortable for a reason. You may not know what that reason is but its there. Listen to it.
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