crazy_grl Posted July 13, 2005 Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by theLoveBelow669 So heres a new inquiry I have...I guess what I'd really like to know is if this girl is being malicious and deceptive on purpose, or could she really trully be unsure of what she wants. Yes, I think it's possible that she really doesn't know. Though the stuff about wanting a man to take care of her is quite damaging. In any case, I don't think you should date her or get too involved right now. Definately not until you know her better, if even then. I know there are a lot of guys who say you should never be friends with a girl if she doesn't want to date you, but I also know many guys like to have female friends. They recognize that it also has benefits, and even though they're not getting the major benefits of sleeping with her, it doesn't bother them, because they recognize that they can find other woman while still having that one as a friend. If you're that type of guy, then by all means, stick around and be her friend. And let her know that you're just her friend that way she can't get upset with you when you date other girls or don't do boyfriend type things with/for her. Then treat her like you would any of your guy friends. For your own sake, since you seem to still be in to her romantically, you should make an effort to spend less time focusing on her and more time on other women. About your stuff, you could try just asking her if you can get your things instead of asking when you'll hang out.
theLoveBelow669 Posted July 13, 2005 Posted July 13, 2005 Thanks alot for the input Crzy_grl. And about 'my stuff'...how should I take it that she just didnt walk, lilterally 20 feet to get my stuff and give it to me the last time we hung out. She hugged me and said, "guess I'll see you again since I have your movies...". We were right at her front door, she could have stepped inside, got my dvds, given them to me and that would have been that. More trickery from a supossed malicious itchB or no? How might I percieve that? And for the record, I had lunch today with another girl, closer to my own age...(and no GG I did not pay for her or pick her up or pay for her gas etc ;o) ). But I will be seeing her tomorrow as well. Keeping all options open...
theLoveBelow669 Posted July 13, 2005 Posted July 13, 2005 To crzy_grl; Yeah about that "need a man to take care of me..." BS. I figure she was seeing if I was crazy enough to say something like, 'Well I could take care of you...'. As 50 cent says, "I dont know what ya heard about me, but a itchb cant get a dolla outta me...". I told her if thats what she really wants she should change her profile match for a guy from "Income: Any" to "Income: over $100,000". Her reaction was she seemed kind of embarassed while I was laughing at the thought of her wanting a guy to "take care of her". Then the subject was quickly changed and not discussed further. (Did I do good on that one GG?) ) Little does she know, I could take care of her if she was ever fortunate enough to become THAT significant to me, and by that I mean if a woman I was married to was pregnant, she wouldnt have to work for at least a while...she could work while preg but once the kid pops out she could take some time off to raise OUR kid. But shhhh, lets keep that on the DL. Thanks again for any input.
millefiori Posted July 13, 2005 Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by theLoveBelow669 To crzy_grl; Yeah about that "need a man to take care of me..." BS. I figure she was seeing if I was crazy enough to say something like, 'Well I could take care of you...'. As 50 cent says, "I dont know what ya heard about me, but a itchb cant get a dolla outta me...". I told her if thats what she really wants she should change her profile match for a guy from "Income: Any" to "Income: over $100,000". Her reaction was she seemed kind of embarassed while I was laughing at the thought of her wanting a guy to "take care of her". Then the subject was quickly changed and not discussed further. (Did I do good on that one GG?) ) Little does she know, I could take care of her if she was ever fortunate enough to become THAT significant to me, and by that I mean if a woman I was married to was pregnant, she wouldnt have to work for at least a while...she could work while preg but once the kid pops out she could take some time off to raise OUR kid. But shhhh, lets keep that on the DL. Thanks again for any input. Ok, I'm not crzy_grl, but I will still comment on your remark. That was pretty low, if guy who was interested in gave me this kind of reply I would silently erase him from my list of dateworthy guys. I become very resentful to people who doubt my real intentions and start making assumptions about my true motives. Damn it, you have no right to assume that she's only after money. Taking care of someone has many meanings and your assumption that being a stay-at-home mom is what she secretly wants is so typical of the so-called nice guys. They always know what you really want or need. If you really want to turn off a woman, continue with this behavior. Make assumptions about her, give her punches below the belt and just assume that you're God's greatest gift to women and anyone who rejects you is simply stupid.
theLoveBelow669 Posted July 13, 2005 Posted July 13, 2005 Originally posted by millefiori Ok, I'm not crzy_grl, but I will still comment on your remark. That was pretty low, if guy who was interested in gave me this kind of reply I would silently erase him from my list of dateworthy guys. I become very resentful to people who doubt my real intentions and start making assumptions about my true motives. Damn it, you have no right to assume that she's only after money. Taking care of someone has many meanings and your assumption that being a stay-at-home mom is what she secretly wants is so typical of the so-called nice guys. They always know what you really want or need. If you really want to turn off a woman, continue with this behavior. Make assumptions about her, give her punches below the belt and just assume that you're God's greatest gift to women and anyone who rejects you is simply stupid. OK mille, I hear ya. And you are right. But I am looking at all angles since I only have hung out with this girl 3x and talked to her via internet and phone on occasion. She is the one who one day said how she cant be in a relationship and the next day says she needs a man to take care of her. When I brought it up to her in person (on the 3rd in person meeting), she seemed all confused and embarassed...I'm quite sure she was testing me to see how I would react to her "need a man to care of me.." statement. I didnt lie...and stood my ground...I am in no way looking to support ANY woman. And lastly, I am gods gift to women...actually to the RIGHT woman FOR ME. Its not unfair to question someones motives when you hardly know them....and also to take all things into consideration. I prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Thanks for your input.
theLoveBelow669 Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 So I have updated correspondences. So I waited a few days without trying to conatct her...she was in "hide" mode, but I tried anyway since I was quite sure she wasnt working the night job. And so she replied. But anyway, we IMd for a while....telling me how busy she is with her 2 jobs before she goes away. But I asked her if she "wants to see me" when she gets back and she said "it will have to be then". So thats it...lol And the game moves along....at least its not going backwards??
millefiori Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by theLoveBelow669 And the game moves along.... You call it a game? That tells me, you're trapped in the "nice guy" attitude already. You're showing subliminal signs of aggressiveness which indicates desperation as you're seeing your failure to advance with this girl. You're too interested in her and that's why you're staying. Any normal person would have dropped her at this point and moved on. You stay and grudgingly accept what she gives you. This kind of forced acceptance of your lousy and inferior situation also creates resentment which manifests itself in your attempts to put her down and to pay it back to her with snide remarks that you mask as a natural reaction to the nonsense she produces. It's tough what I said, but everyone has been in a situation like this, including me. Stop deluding yourself and try to do things that improve your self-confidence, so you won't be stuck in a situation like this anymore.
theLoveBelow669 Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by millefiori You call it a game? That tells me, you're trapped in the "nice guy" attitude already. You're showing subliminal signs of aggressiveness which indicates desperation as you're seeing your failure to advance with this girl. You're too interested in her and that's why you're staying. Any normal person would have dropped her at this point and moved on. You stay and grudgingly accept what she gives you. This kind of forced acceptance of your lousy and inferior situation also creates resentment which manifests itself in your attempts to put her down and to pay it back to her with snide remarks that you mask as a natural reaction to the nonsense she produces. It's tough what I said, but everyone has been in a situation like this, including me. Stop deluding yourself and try to do things that improve your self-confidence, so you won't be stuck in a situation like this anymore. So I guess that does it then. I'm going to get my movies before she goes away and thats it. I'll tell her to leave them at her door...I'll pick them up and be done with the entire situation. THE END.
millefiori Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 As I said, sometimes we must do mistakes in order to avoid being haunted by "what ifs". Just be aware of yourself, what motivates you to act in certain ways. Take it as a chance to learn more about yourself, about your insecurities and what you can do to overcome them.
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