madag7_m Posted August 18, 2016 Posted August 18, 2016 hi, I'm in relationship for two and half year, i don't have any feeling for my boyfriend anymore. this happend for me a long time ago, I don't have any sexual or emotional feeling for him. but He's too emotional and serious about our relationship, and he's needy and insecure and he's always saying if it wasn't for you i don't have any goal and i'll kill myself if someday you leave me! I'm 22 and He's 22, He's my first serious boyfriend and always i want to explain to him it's just our first experience and don't get too much serious becuase it may stop working but He doesn't listen and nothing. now we haven't met for almost a month and i just want to end things but I don't know how to act, he's too emotional and I know He would Threat me that he'll kill himself and things like that. but i can't bear things anymore, we're too different and i want experience the world and meet new people and travel somewhere else and everything. we have two different point of view about everything but he can't accept that we're different.
Redhead14 Posted August 18, 2016 Posted August 18, 2016 hi, I'm in relationship for two and half year, i don't have any feeling for my boyfriend anymore. this happend for me a long time ago, I don't have any sexual or emotional feeling for him. but He's too emotional and serious about our relationship, and he's needy and insecure and he's always saying if it wasn't for you i don't have any goal and i'll kill myself if someday you leave me! I'm 22 and He's 22, He's my first serious boyfriend and always i want to explain to him it's just our first experience and don't get too much serious becuase it may stop working but He doesn't listen and nothing. now we haven't met for almost a month and i just want to end things but I don't know how to act, he's too emotional and I know He would Threat me that he'll kill himself and things like that. but i can't bear things anymore, we're too different and i want experience the world and meet new people and travel somewhere else and everything. we have two different point of view about everything but he can't accept that we're different. You do what you need to do for YOU. And, you are not doing him any favors by continuing in a relationship that is unfulfilling for you and pretending. It will be a farce. It's already been a month. Meet him in a public place, tell him you are moving on and wish him well. It is not your responsibility to manage his emotions for him. The threats he makes are manipulative and immature. And, if, God forbid, he does do something to hurt himself because of this, it simply means that he was mentally unbalanced. The way you describe him, it does sound as though he has some emotionally unhealthy behavior. End things with him. Go no contact and maintain it adamantly. Do not reach out to him and do not accept contact from him. Block his number from your phone and delete his number. 2
preraph Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 Because he will try to control you with his emotional well-being, when you make a break, you have GOT to make a clean break and block him and everything. Now, I know you think softer is better, but with someone who is going to try to force you to stay with them, you have to do it once and be clear about it and block them so they don't drive you crazy. But first, what you need to do, in case he is unstable, is privately go to whoever has the most influence over him, his parents, his sibling, his doctor if you know who it is (they won't talk to you but you can leave them a message you're leaving him) and let them know you're breaking up with him on such and such day so they can be there to support him and keep him from pulling any suicide threats and shenanigans. And please listen to me: Block his number and email and social media so he CANNOT make these threats to you! That will diffuse the situation automatically because it won't be an option for him. If he derails, his relatives can deal with it. Good luck. Please don't leave him a way to manipulate you! 1
Author madag7_m Posted August 23, 2016 Author Posted August 23, 2016 You do what you need to do for YOU. And, you are not doing him any favors by continuing in a relationship that is unfulfilling for you and pretending. It will be a farce. It's already been a month. Meet him in a public place, tell him you are moving on and wish him well. It is not your responsibility to manage his emotions for him. The threats he makes are manipulative and immature. And, if, God forbid, he does do something to hurt himself because of this, it simply means that he was mentally unbalanced. The way you describe him, it does sound as though he has some emotionally unhealthy behavior. End things with him. Go no contact and maintain it adamantly. Do not reach out to him and do not accept contact from him. Block his number from your phone and delete his number. I couldn't even start the conversation with him, he says he loves me and asks me if i love him too over and over and i don't know what to answer anymore! i don't know how to start to tell him everything, he completely acts like everything's ok between us and talks about his plans for future and if i don't answer he keeps on texting me till I answer. I really don't know what to do! 1
NopeNah Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 There is no easy way,but don't use the words "moving on"(Saying this seems like you've found someone else already to me). Just tell him that you're not happy and want to be single, for you. You had a great experience with him,yadda,yadda, but it's time to go your own way. Then go complete NC, don't text to see "how he is?",just vanish..block him from everything social media wise.
Author madag7_m Posted August 23, 2016 Author Posted August 23, 2016 Because he will try to control you with his emotional well-being, when you make a break, you have GOT to make a clean break and block him and everything. Now, I know you think softer is better, but with someone who is going to try to force you to stay with them, you have to do it once and be clear about it and block them so they don't drive you crazy. But first, what you need to do, in case he is unstable, is privately go to whoever has the most influence over him, his parents, his sibling, his doctor if you know who it is (they won't talk to you but you can leave them a message you're leaving him) and let them know you're breaking up with him on such and such day so they can be there to support him and keep him from pulling any suicide threats and shenanigans. And please listen to me: Block his number and email and social media so he CANNOT make these threats to you! That will diffuse the situation automatically because it won't be an option for him. If he derails, his relatives can deal with it. Good luck. Please don't leave him a way to manipulate you! i can't break up! i can't even come close to tell him what's going on, he completely acts like he doesn't know what's going on.
NopeNah Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 i can't break up! i can't even come close to tell him what's going on, he completely acts like he doesn't know what's going on. I've never been good at being the dumper either.. It sucks! But...If you're not happy it's actually more kind to end things with him,so he can find someone who does want to be with him.
Author madag7_m Posted August 23, 2016 Author Posted August 23, 2016 There is no easy way,but don't use the words "moving on"(Saying this seems like you've found someone else already to me). Just tell him that you're not happy and want to be single, for you. You had a great experience with him,yadda,yadda, but it's time to go your own way. Then go complete NC, don't text to see "how he is?",just vanish..block him from everything social media wise. i know that talk won't go that easy, even now he acts like everything is cool but obviously there's a lot of problem and he just talks about bull****s, i even can't enjoy talking to him anymore! i don't know how start, i know from the start he'll make a seen of it and don't let me finish.
NopeNah Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 i know that talk won't go that easy, even now he acts like everything is cool but obviously there's a lot of problem and he just talks about bull****s, i even can't enjoy talking to him anymore! i don't know how start, i know from the start he'll make a seen of it and don't let me finish. My most recent "dumper session" was instigated by her asking me "Are you happy?"... I said "No, I'm not." She yelled for a few minutes,while I gathered my belongings from her house( We had just returned from a weekend trip)..Then I left and haven't spoken to her since(3wks'ish now? lost count).. It was sorta a mutual breakup with us..obviously she wasn't happy either,but had she not asked that question,that day, I'd probably still be where you....just going through the motions...UNHAPPY. 1
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