SadSouls Posted August 18, 2016 Posted August 18, 2016 (edited) So I broke up with my ex girlfriend of 3.5 years around 3 months ago. I felt terrible at the time, not because I thought I had made a mistake, but because she was such a nice person and I hated the thought of her being upset. At the beginning we texted a little, she would ask how I was doing etc. Then she unfortunately saw (through a mutual friend) a picture of me with another girl on FB. She took this pretty badly - messaged me saying I was an a**hole and never to speak to her again, and blocked me on FB. I didn't think much else of the whole situation until I noticed she had unblocked me on FB about 2 weeks ago. Her newest profile picture shows that she has lost a LOT of weight, and she was skinny to begin with. I also noticed she tweeted out asking if anyone knows good people (as in professionals) to talk to when you're depressed. I'm so worried that she's not coping. I don't want to message her and remind her of me, I fear that would make things worse. But I don't want to sit back and allow her to run herself into the ground. What should I do? Any advice? Edited August 18, 2016 by SadSouls
TexasGuy12 Posted August 18, 2016 Posted August 18, 2016 So I broke up with my ex girlfriend of 3.5 years around 3 months ago. I felt terrible at the time, not because I thought I had made a mistake, but because she was such a nice person and I hated the thought of her being upset. At the beginning we texted a little, she would ask how I was doing etc. Then she unfortunately saw (through a mutual friend) a picture of me with another girl on FB. She took this pretty badly - messaged me saying I was an a**hole and never to speak to her again, and blocked me on FB. I didn't think much else of the whole situation until I noticed she had unblocked me on FB about 2 weeks ago. Her newest profile picture shows that she has lost a LOT of weight, and she was skinny to begin with. I also noticed she tweeted out asking if anyone knows good people (as in professionals) to talk to when you're depressed. I'm so worried that she's not coping. I don't want to message her and remind her of me, I fear that would make things worse. But I don't want to sit back and allow her to run herself into the ground. What should I do? Any advice? Definitely see your dilemma. Personally, I would say not to reach out, because having you reach out, and knowing that you still don't want her, could cause more harm than good once she realizes that. I also see the side of you where you'd blame yourself if something happened and she went off the rails, but I think you have to let her go since you broke up with her. Just my 2 cents. 1
preraph Posted August 18, 2016 Posted August 18, 2016 No, don't reach out. She is just going through heartbreak, but you coming around again will only make it worse, not better. She may be losing weight because she intends to start dating. I always lost weight after breakups, on purpose, so I'd look super hot next time I went out in public. Nice that you care, but let her heal. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted August 18, 2016 Posted August 18, 2016 Don't reach out to her unless you want to reconcile. I say that because any contact from you is likely going to give her false hope and make things worse for her, in the end. This could very well be why she has unblocked you, too. Perhaps she hopes you will contact her, knowing you've seen the state she is in. Although I understand your concern, do not do so. It won't help, because really - what can you do? I am assuming she has family and friends to talk to. 1
privategal Posted August 18, 2016 Posted August 18, 2016 So I broke up with my ex girlfriend of 3.5 years around 3 months ago. I felt terrible at the time, not because I thought I had made a mistake, but because she was such a nice person and I hated the thought of her being upset. At the beginning we texted a little, she would ask how I was doing etc. Then she unfortunately saw (through a mutual friend) a picture of me with another girl on FB. She took this pretty badly - messaged me saying I was an a**hole and never to speak to her again, and blocked me on FB. I didn't think much else of the whole situation until I noticed she had unblocked me on FB about 2 weeks ago. Her newest profile picture shows that she has lost a LOT of weight, and she was skinny to begin with. I also noticed she tweeted out asking if anyone knows good people (as in professionals) to talk to when you're depressed. I'm so worried that she's not coping. I don't want to message her and remind her of me, I fear that would make things worse. But I don't want to sit back and allow her to run herself into the ground. What should I do? Any advice? You broke up with her, so her life, her health, her wellbeing, her Facebook is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Do not reach out and stay off her page and focus on your new girlfriend. 1
Silver_star Posted August 18, 2016 Posted August 18, 2016 The worst thing you can do is contact her right now. Leave her alone and let her heal. It's called heartbreak. How she is coping is none of your business. If you feel guilty about it that is your problem. She is entitled to be upset, and handle things her way. 1
basil67 Posted August 18, 2016 Posted August 18, 2016 If she's putting it out there on Facebook, then her close friends and family will know what's going on and they will be there for her. You need to stay away. Would also suggest that you block her so that you don't see the updates. Have you considered that she's unblocked you specifically so that you could see how much she's hurting? Nice piece of manipulation on her part.
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