IROCAZ Posted August 18, 2016 Posted August 18, 2016 I've been with my ex GF for a year and everything was perfect till she started moving up in her company and constantly getting stuck at work (salary). She has a huge heart for helping others but when others depend on her she gets scared and finds ways out. Everytime I went to meet her somewhere like a a restaurant she would be hours late. This kept happening for so long I started to get angry and upset till we had a argument about this. Things only seem to get worst with broken promises. She promise me that she would take care of somthing the next day and not see it through. That started more arguments. For a while everytime she would make a mistake I would push her away. Then we set a vacation to go to colorado to help fix things for my birthday I asked her to pack her bags 3 days in advance and she told me that she will on day 2 before the trip. She never did it so she promised me that when she gets off of work on 1 day before the trip she will pack her bag and help me prepare. But when she got off of work she text me that she wanted to go hang with her coworkers and broke another promise plus I needed help preparing and getting things ready with everything. I told her that I needed her to choose her work or me and she went with her coworkers.(she's not cheating she just has a tendency to run away from those that depend on her because of her past) after that happen I felt let down and betrayed. I went to wallmart got some boxes and packed all her stuff and threw it in her car. So when she got home I told her it was over. She told me she couldn't breath and told me she was sorry. I didn't say much and let her drive away with her things. For one day I thought I could handle things but I'm now starting to realize that I made a huge mistake. I went to hang out with her 2 days after we broke up and went bowling I treated her like a friend the whole time. When we were walking to our cars she fell into tears and hugged me and said I hope you find somone that makes you happy. After that a day later I broke down and could stop texting and calling her for a day she didnt answer because she was going through the same pain with her phone off. After a day she text me and we went for a walk in the park. We kept things Profesional and talked about were we went wrong and our mistakes. She seemed so angry inside and informed me that she needs her space. She said she still has feeling for me but she wants a couple months to get herself together. She said it's best if we stayed friends. She told me she been staying at her mom's place and is going to get a place on her own to figure herself out. She also said that she wants to try to find somone that makes me happy. I told her I would wait for her. When we first met we did move in way too quick with each other and had sex too fast. We did not take things slow when we first met. I miss her so much and feel like I made the bigest mistake in life and don't know if I'm doing the right thing or messing things up ever worst. I want her back soo much but we hurt each other along the way. Someone please tell me what's the best thing to do in my situation. Thanks.
BlueIris Posted August 18, 2016 Posted August 18, 2016 No, you didn’t make a big mistake. She is not a good match for you at all. She wasn’t reliable and she prioritized work far above you and your relationship. While there’s nothing wrong with that in the absolute, it doesn’t suit you and you should be with someone whose lifestyle, attitudes and priorities match yours. She isn’t going to change. Find someone who fits you better than she did. 3
ExpatInItaly Posted August 18, 2016 Posted August 18, 2016 You definitely did not make a mistake. It's not your fault she consistently put her work and friends above you, and left you feeling like there is no room for you in her life. If she was running from the slightest of responsibilities, such as showing up on time for a date, she is not ready for a relationship. 2
Author IROCAZ Posted August 18, 2016 Author Posted August 18, 2016 Thank you both for your recommendations. Anyone else want to chime in what I should do to try to make it work?
spiderowl Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 Does she want to try and make it work? As you say, you have both hurt each other so it would take a lot of love and determination from both of you to get back together again. Why would you want to get back with her anyway when you were so unhappy with the way she was treating you? She is probably not going to change, whatever she says. People don't change fundamentally, only superficially. 1
preraph Posted August 19, 2016 Posted August 19, 2016 Well, if you want to "make it work," all you have to do is never act like her keeping you waiting for hours makes you mad and that it doesn't bother you she ruined your birthday and just let her have everything her way with no rules or common courtesy or boundaries. In other words, just keep being her doormat if you want to make it work. Once you have kids, how is that going to work out for you? 1
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