Glow88 Posted August 18, 2016 Posted August 18, 2016 (edited) Basically I met an amazing guy in early May, we then go on to have a string of amazing dates. He talks about not dating anyone else just 3 dates in. About a month an a half in we skip spending the weekend together (long distance) due to a family commitment and his texting slows down, I start to get a little anxious but the following weekend he asks to be official with me and says he loves me. So I let my guard down and relax he is very affectionate with me and we say I love you regularly. But then a month into the relationship we meet and he disguises me meeting some close friends and a holiday next year. We then part ways on Monday and he ignores my texts all week (I only sent 2 on Tuesday). So Friday night I text him asking if anything is wrong and he tells me he's not sure if he is in the mind set for a relationship. One week later I have a moment of weakness and text him I miss him and he tells me he misses me to but he isn't sure if its in that way. In my confusing I ask why say all the things you did last time we met if he you didn't mean it including I love you . He goes on to tell me he meant every word and will not be called a liar ! Everything was going so when we spent time together my only issue was his slow texting (i'm not a big texter anyway and didn't overload him with messages). I'm so confused by all this and I'm overthinking the whole time. Edited August 18, 2016 by Glow88
ExpatInItaly Posted August 18, 2016 Posted August 18, 2016 You're not over-thinking, OP. If he dropped contact for a week, he's not interested anymore. It's already over, which is good because now you can spend that emotional energy on someone who feels the same way about you.
Redhead14 Posted August 18, 2016 Posted August 18, 2016 Basically I met an amazing guy in early May, we then go on to have a string of amazing dates. He talks about not dating anyone else just 3 dates in. About a month an a half in we skip spending the weekend together (long distance) due to a family commitment and his texting slows down, I start to get a little anxious but the following weekend he asks to be official with me and says he loves me. So I let my guard down and relax he is very affectionate with me and we say I love you regularly. But then a month into the relationship we meet and he disguises me meeting some close friends and a holiday next year. We then part ways on Monday and he ignores my texts all week (I only sent 2 on Tuesday). So Friday night I text him asking if anything is wrong and he tells me he's not sure if he is in the mind set for a relationship. One week later I have a moment of weakness and text him I miss him and he tells me he misses me to but he isn't sure if its in that way. In my confusing I ask why say all the things you did last time we met if he you didn't mean it including I love you . He goes on to tell me he meant every word and will not be called a liar ! Everything was going so when we spent time together my only issue was his slow texting (i'm not a big texter anyway and didn't overload him with messages). I'm so confused by all this and I'm overthinking the whole time. we say I love you regularly. -- Don't believe what you hear until it is backed up by clear and consistent actions. he ignores my texts all week (I only sent 2 on Tuesday) - a man who loves you, doesn't ignore you for a week. If I man I was dating ignored me for a week, I would not have reached out to him first for any reason. And, if he did contact me again and want to continue things with me, he would need to have a totally credible reason for disappearing on me and clearly demonstrate that he understands that what he did was hurtful. The point in time of this relationship is often a time of uncertainty for a man or a woman. They sometimes will pull back a little because they realize that's things are developing more seriously and they will take a little time to regroup and focus. It appears to me that is where he was. If after 3 months or so, a partner seems to pull away a bit, it's best to leave it alone. You can reach out in a light way without mention of the relationship and let it be. If you do or say anything that might put pressure on them, they will pull away even more. It's possible they may not get back in touch and if that's the case, so be it. It simply means they've decided the relationship was not for them. By the way he responded to being called out says he's was under pressure and you pushed the envelope. He did say he was considering things about the relationship. He was in a period of uncertainty. I'm not saying that it would necessarily change the outcome, but it didn't help. Leave him be.
Author Glow88 Posted August 18, 2016 Author Posted August 18, 2016 Thank you redhead14 that is the best advice/ summery of the situation I have heard from anybody. I really want him back but I'm so frustrated with the uncertainty.
Redhead14 Posted August 18, 2016 Posted August 18, 2016 Thank you redhead14 that is the best advice/ summery of the situation I have heard from anybody. I really want him back but I'm so frustrated with the uncertainty. Yes, it is frustrating. If he comes back, he needs to demonstrate sincerity and be consistent from that point forward if you decide to let him come back. Some men and some women, pull away often, however, due to fear of intimacy/commitment, etc. They get close, then pull back because its overwhelming to them but they bounce back and do it over and over again. I'm not saying that this guy will do that, but you need to observe. If he keeps doing this, it's a sign of a larger issue. Just put this way in the back of your mind. Sit back and let him come to you if he's going to. Be patient, keep yourself busy. Don't put yourself on hold.
Michelle ma Belle Posted August 18, 2016 Posted August 18, 2016 Always remember, that someone's effort is reflection of their interest in you.
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