I don't know which way is up anymore. I feel terrible for ending things

[jerrygordon3]

First and foremost, if you promise to not look at past forums of this girl, feel free to comment and help out.

 

After two years of an incredibly up and down relationship I recently ended things. How I did it though, was very wrong. I just don't know if I had every right to.

 

Pretty much we seem to bring the worst out in each other sometimes.

We fall into ruts where we fight constantly. and THere's almost permanent mismmunciaiaton. I get stressed being around her sometimes.

 

Also honestly, she has a tendency to use big words and lash out. sometimes she's starting drama and fights with me when I'm running late to work cause I'm not doing something right. After two years of off and on being a punching bag, being kept at a distance from her daughter and family, and not really seeing the relationship move forward we hit a major rut.. She broke up with me three times two days before my birthday and was just being a huge high maintenance jerk, and getting mad that I was with friends, watching a UFC fight, taking up hours of my time to argue and stuff. SO come the third time, when she was like " we are over" I agreed. I formally dumped her. She fought and begged for me back for weeks and started looking at places to move out with me, bringing her wonderful daughter around, and letting me see her family ( the things I had always wanted)... I took her back... we talked about how sincere she was about marriage and moving in together...This was all I had wanted for years, yet suddenly I had just emotionally checked out... So the next time she flipped out on me, I had thought about how conflicted I was and suddenly emotionally burnt out, and I ended things a second time. During this period she was in between living arrangements, and struggling as a single mom, and there was a major conflict with her family- essentially she was going through a lot...I slept with someone else who i met a week later and there were condom wrappers in my trash. I later had my ex over a day later to talk and she saw the wrappers. Now she hates me and is devastated, even more than before...

 

I let her open up to me and bring her daughter around, and then dumped her and started sleeping with someone else while she was at home sobbing.

 

hearing that made me feel like I made a mistake and hurt her even though she didn't deserve it..

 

suddenly I feel like I should be there for her and am upset, feeling like I never should have left her. I honestly DO NO KNOW WHAT TO THINK. I feel like i messed up for emotionally checking out.??? opinions?

[Blanco]

First and foremost, if you promise to not look at past forums of this girl, feel free to comment and help out.

 

Translation: Don't familiarize yourself with my absolutely toxic relationship with my ex, because I want you to validate my desire to be with her again.

[Redhead14]

First and foremost, if you promise to not look at past forums of this girl, feel free to comment and help out.

 

After two years of an incredibly up and down relationship I recently ended things. How I did it though, was very wrong. I just don't know if I had every right to.

 

Pretty much we seem to bring the worst out in each other sometimes.

We fall into ruts where we fight constantly. and THere's almost permanent mismmunciaiaton. I get stressed being around her sometimes.

 

Also honestly, she has a tendency to use big words and lash out. sometimes she's starting drama and fights with me when I'm running late to work cause I'm not doing something right. After two years of off and on being a punching bag, being kept at a distance from her daughter and family, and not really seeing the relationship move forward we hit a major rut.. She broke up with me three times two days before my birthday and was just being a huge high maintenance jerk, and getting mad that I was with friends, watching a UFC fight, taking up hours of my time to argue and stuff. SO come the third time, when she was like " we are over" I agreed. I formally dumped her. She fought and begged for me back for weeks and started looking at places to move out with me, bringing her wonderful daughter around, and letting me see her family ( the things I had always wanted)... I took her back... we talked about how sincere she was about marriage and moving in together...This was all I had wanted for years, yet suddenly I had just emotionally checked out... So the next time she flipped out on me, I had thought about how conflicted I was and suddenly emotionally burnt out, and I ended things a second time. During this period she was in between living arrangements, and struggling as a single mom, and there was a major conflict with her family- essentially she was going through a lot...I slept with someone else who i met a week later and there were condom wrappers in my trash. I later had my ex over a day later to talk and she saw the wrappers. Now she hates me and is devastated, even more than before...

 

I let her open up to me and bring her daughter around, and then dumped her and started sleeping with someone else while she was at home sobbing.

 

hearing that made me feel like I made a mistake and hurt her even though she didn't deserve it..

 

suddenly I feel like I should be there for her and am upset, feeling like I never should have left her. I honestly DO NO KNOW WHAT TO THINK. I feel like i messed up for emotionally checking out.??? opinions?

 

You should have left her. Don't play that mind-game with yourself. The relationship was a train wreck. Go no contact. Let her manage her own emotions and you get focused on moving forward. It's over. You emotionally checked out for a reason. You had become emotionally drained and overwrought. You were being emotionally abused!!!!!

 

I let her open up to me and bring her daughter around, and then dumped her and started sleeping with someone else while she was at home sobbing./B] -- She manipulated you by using her daughter and family. She hadn't changed. If you had continued with her, she would have gone back to her old ways.

 

Pick yourself up and move forward.