She is pregnant and the relationship is in one big mess

[Wazza10]

Ok so here goes, im not sure im even posting in the right forums so feel free to remove or delete if it is not.

 

Anyway trying to keep this as short as possible, i finally came to realise that i need help, i need to talk to someone, i havent talked to anyone about it and its killing me.

 

My girlfriend or lets say my ex girlfriend is 11 weeks pregnant which is a mistake and unplanned but we had a decent almost 3 years relation till now, Im 34 and she is 28 so we are not even young. Anyway at first it was okish and occasionally we talked about names and how exciting it was to have a small family.

 

All of a sudden our relation has gotten worse and worse, she is getting totally crazy atm. i knew things were not right till a few weeks ago, she just wouldnt talk about it, we go out talk about anything but not pregnancy or anything about it. Fine.

 

She normally is pretty moody but i had got used to them by now and it was not a big issue but these past few weeks she got worse and worse which was unbearable.

I believe she got into a pregnancy depression and she has now went to a counsellor without me leaving me hanging not knowing what is going to happen as she just wont talk to me about were i stand in all of this...

 

I understand that hormones play a big part at this time of the pregnancy but she is leaving me completely out of everything, and most of the time its like i simply dont exist to her.

we dont live together altough we were planning to and i was doping everything possible to make it easier for her, i was being there for everything she needs me to, i let go of my dignity cos i was trying to be of support to her but she completely is blocking me out..

 

Im going absolutely crazy, i have so many mixed emotions right now and have absolutely no idea what to do anymore.

 

I know im probably not making sense but im so emotional right now and this **** feels so bad, it hurts too much!

[Bialy]

Why does she want to have a baby in this awful environment?

[Wazza10]

I dont know, one thing i didnt mention is that she is scared of telling her parents because they are gonna be so let down, that is stressing her out big time...

 

She was ok with it when she knew she got pregnant, but all of a sudden she got crazy about it and she doesnt want it.

I believe hormones are playing a part but she surely is not in a good state of mind.

I understand that and was doing my best to support her in every way, but she is just leaving me out of it, hanging out like i never existed.

 

And that is killing me inside.

[Bialy]

Are you two religious?

 

I know it's not a popular thing to say, but I just don't understand how having a child in this environment with a broken relationship will make things better. This sounds just terrible.

 

Whether you want to be with her or not, if she gives birth, your life will never be the same. NEVER. For better or worse. I hope you have a job because you're going to be paying for a long time.

 

Maybe everything will work out -- but from what you wrote, it doesn't seem like this is headed in a good direction. Just trying to be realistic and not paint a rosy picture.

[Wazza10]

Well no not really religious.

 

"I know it's not a popular thing to say, but I just don't understand how having a child in this environment with a broken relationship will make things better. This sounds just terrible"

 

That is exactly what i also think aswell, but i dont know if its her hormones playing up with her mind or the scary feeling she has about telling and disappointing her family.

That ive been left completely out and guessing whats going to happen next.

 

Everything was fine until a few weeks ago but this last week has been a total disaster.

I have no idea whats going to happen and this waiting game is killing me. I love her but as much as i understand she is going to get the rougher times im not feeling that im treated right and my dignity has completely gone as im suppose to support her only and my feelings dont count at all.

[Wazza10]

So here goes, my girlfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years and all was fine until she got pregnant a little more then 3 months ago. She was fine with it for the first few weeks and we were planning to move in together soon too but maybe a month into the pregnancy and it started going from bad to worse. She hardly ever talks to me she doesnt want to meet, she told me how she hates me for gettingbher into this situation etc and how she doesnt know what she wants anymore. I loved her but all this is pushing me away slowly as i always treated her respectfully and was ready to be there for her in all of this but she doesnt care. She went to a counsellor without telling me and about 10 days ago we went for the ultra sound and everything was confirned that is fine and she is 3 months pregnant, she told her parents and everything and she was like nothing ever happened, she talked to me, we met and told me how she wants to work things out with me. I said ok fine i understand sort of what she has to go through, its worse for her so i said ok lets try and forget about it and try and move on as best we can. Roll on 5 days after and things are back to the same s**t. I got frustrated 3 days ago and said things i shouldnt have and i regret but i never meant any harm, only because i had built lots of frustration and sadness inside me and i broke down. Im not gonna lie i cried, this situation is breaking me completely and its affecting everything i do, all i do is think about whats going to happen which i have no idea. Im completely in a corner, ideally i would love everything will be fine with her and try to move on but im not sure if its even possible anymore even if she wanted to, im gonna be paranoid its all gonna happen again, i cant really trust her anymore, she changes waybtoo often and there is a baby involved which i want so i cant really let her go and move on. Sorry for the long post.