Relationship for Indian man

[spiderowl]

I don't know whether visas are an issue for you there or not. A guy who was in the UK on a short visa might have difficulty with British women if they feared he was only interested in them because he needed marriage and permanent residency. If there is no problem with regard to you staying in Oz without marriage, then it should be a bit easier.

 

I would suggest the same for any guy - get to know the girl as a friend, become a familiar face, someone she can trust, flirt a bit but don't pressure and wait for her to give hints that she might like more. I think a common mistake guys make is to move too fast so that they are still effectively a stranger. Another mistake is to be too heavy with the flirting so she cannot get to know you as a friend at the same time. Getting to know and trust a man is not instant. Show interest in her as a person, be a gentleman, and let her encourage you a bit. She'll feel more in control that way and before you know it you'll have a new friend and maybe a possible future girlfriend.

[normal person]

I don't know what you are trying to say here. The general advice I get from most people is don't just be shy and sit around if you see a pretty girl. If you like someone go up and start a conversation and see how it goes. And in the west men approach 99% of the time and get some form of communication like a phone number or email or something and go from there.

 

There's something to be said about being proactive in some way, but there's also something to be said about doing it in a nuanced way that doesn't seem quite so forward, desperate, contrived, etc. I'm not saying this is what I think you've been doing, because I don't know how you do it. I'm just saying, in the event that you are, maybe it's time to take a different strategy, and not blame it on your race just yet.

 

What you are saying is sit around and they should come up to you to start a conversation. That's not going to happen unless I'm a celebrity like Will Smith or Bill Gates.

 

Interesting, I'm not Will Smith or Bill Gates, I never "approach" women and I have no shortage of women around. If women like you, they'll let you know. They usually don't opt for large gestured "approaches," it's usually something more subtle like a look, or an excuse to be close to you when they don't have to be, or something like that. You just have to be able to recognize and decode them. Have you tried online dating? That makes the process a lot easier. You can just go out with any girl who "likes" or messages you, and there's no decoding to be done there.

 

What you are saying might happen in a corporate environment where people know your position and your power but not on the street or in a club.

 

Please. It happens in bars and clubs every night. I would suggest getting out there and experiencing some more Australian/western culture before you jump to too many conclusions about it. Best of luck.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Naveen, you've been given a lot of honest, down to earth advice. I would add a few bits of my own, take it or leave it. One is that if you have an obviously heavy Indian accent then try and soften it to make it appear more Westernized if not Australian. The other thing you could do is cultivate typically Aussie pastimes like joining an Australian rules football club as a member and attend their matches. Learn to get as excited as the Aussies themselves get during a game. Soccer is another game as is cricket of course.

You could also visit beaches and swim in the sea or develop a taste for Australian wine and visit wineries. If you can afford it get a swanky, in vogue car to drive as Aussies love big cars. I would also suggest joining an organisation such as a Youth club or the YMCA. If you are working in a corporate office you would get to meet people. Participating in the ANZAC day parade, the Bastille day celebrations or such other events where young people congregate would get you in touch with a number of young ladies. Guess these are just some thoughts that came to mind. Of course looks would also help and a suave and polished manner about you. Best of luck and happy hunting"

[kivan3x]

Hi. Well I'm Indian though was born in the UK. I have only been with white women though I should add very quickly only 3 and I'm 38.

 

I'm not playing the numbers game. And it's not a thing to have a predilection towards a certain race, I do, I can't help that.

 

I'm waiting for fate to intervene and put someone before me I might fall in love with (yes I talk like this which I guess is why) so I'm not really searching or trying but yeah there is less traffic going this way, of course there is, though as others have said it's all about confidence and erm 'game'. In fact it was on the news (!) in England recently from a study derived from social dating sites, and they should know. Indeed the race white women least went for was Asian. So there you go, it's a statistical fact.

 

But love got nowt to do with statistics...

 

xx

[Naveen2016]

Hi. Well I'm Indian though was born in the UK. I have only been with white women though I should add very quickly only 3 and I'm 38.

 

I'm not playing the numbers game. And it's not a thing to have a predilection towards a certain race, I do, I can't help that.

 

I'm waiting for fate to intervene and put someone before me I might fall in love with (yes I talk like this which I guess is why) so I'm not really searching or trying but yeah there is less traffic going this way, of course there is, though as others have said it's all about confidence and erm 'game'. In fact it was on the news (!) in England recently from a study derived from social dating sites, and they should know. Indeed the race white women least went for was Asian. So there you go, it's a statistical fact.

 

But love got nowt to do with statistics...

 

xx

 

 

You had 3 chances after living there your whole life. You must be waiting for a perfect bollywood ending to your story. I don't know about that lol.

I have just been here for 2 months now. I can imagine how its going to be for me. But I knew that before coming here. Like some people said on this thread that most women like to stick to their own culture and race even though the men are open to interracial relationships. Women are mostly the race guardians of humanity. The only exception to this that I have seen are east asian women. They have no qualms with dating white men despite being from a different culture themselves. I have absolutely no respect for them.

[normal person]

The only exception to this that I have seen are east asian women. They have no qualms with dating white men despite being from a different culture themselves. I have absolutely no respect for them.

 

Says a guy who starts a thread asking for advice on how to date outside of his race.

Edited August 21, 2016 by normal person

[Naveen2016]

Read my post again. I said eventhough men are more open to interracial relationships it's women who mostly don't accept it for cultural reasons except for east Asian women. As a white guy obviously you would want every woman for yourself and keep your women to yourselves at the same time.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Hey guys...my name is Naveen (Indian guy) and I'm new to Australia. I'm 31 years old and I'm trying to get an Aussie girlfriend. I'm not stupid. I know its extremely hard especially coming from where I come from but what would be the best way to go about this. Most of them seem kind of closed off and busy always looking at their phones n stuff. Any advice on where n how to meet aussie girls for relationships? I tried Tinder but the girls are not swiping right on my photo lol

Not that unusual

[Imported]

Like some people said on this thread that most women like to stick to their own culture and race even though the men are open to interracial relationships. Women are mostly the race guardians of humanity. The only exception to this that I have seen are east asian women. They have no qualms with dating white men despite being from a different culture themselves. I have absolutely no respect for them.

 

Read my post again. I said eventhough men are more open to interracial relationships it's women who mostly don't accept it for cultural reasons except for east Asian women. As a white guy obviously you would want every woman for yourself and keep your women to yourselves at the same time.

 

No two ways about it, you're just like the Asian women you have absolutely no respect for, rationalize it how you want. I am sure the Asian women just "

I find a higher percentage of white women men attractive than girls guys of other races.

 

And most women are open for dating outside their race, at least in my experience.

[Naveen2016]

Not that unusual

 

So much pride. You will probably need an extra brain to store all of that. But not for long. Order is being restored. It is the Asian century whether you like it or not.

Edited August 21, 2016 by Naveen2016

[Naveen2016]

No two ways about it, you're just like the Asian women you have absolutely no respect for, rationalize it how you want. I am sure the Asian women just "

I find a higher percentage of white women men attractive than girls guys of other races.

 

And most women are open for dating outside their race, at least in my experience.

 

 

There are 2 ways about it. That's probably why Hollywood tries too hard to make sure white men play lead Asian characters in movies. That way they can get admiration from Asian girls while keeping their media obsessed women at the same time.

[normal person]

Read my post again. I said eventhough men are more open to interracial relationships it's women who mostly don't accept it for cultural reasons except for east Asian women.

 

Men are less discriminatory in general because they have a lot less to lose in relationships. "Cultural" reasons is a very broad term. For example, Let's say white women don't like you because you "approach" them randomly in some labored way, lacking total self awareness, and do your cringe-inducing pick up routine, and they get turned off by the whole thing. Is that considered a "cultural" reason because you're from a different culture? My guess is a guy of any race would likely get the same result, not because of cultural differences but because the idea is just bad to begin with.

 

As a white guy obviously you would want every woman for yourself and keep your women to yourselves at the same time.

I'm personally not attracted to other races at all.

 

There are 2 ways about it. That's probably why Hollywood tries too hard to make sure white men play lead Asian characters in movies. That way they can get admiration from Asian girls while keeping their media obsessed women at the same time.

 

You're delusional. Hollywood is nothing more than a business -- they just want your money. If they do do that thing, it's to appeal to Western audiences, which are their target demographic. People here are more likely to go see movies featuring people who look like them vs. people who don't. Asians still only make up about 5-6% of the US population. In the coming years you'll see a lot of movies made by joint US/Chinese companies as the appeal of the Asian market is growing and will continue to grow. When people think they can make more money off of Asians, you will see more Asians in lead roles. Until then, movies targeted towards Western audiences will probably continue to cast westerners.

[mikeylo]

The only exception to this that I have seen are east asian women. They have no qualms with dating white men despite being from a different culture themselves. I have absolutely no respect for them.

 

:D:D

 

Now you know why you arent getting any ?

[GravityMan]

The more posts I read from the OP, the easier it is to understand why he has difficulty connecting with women. It has very little to do with the OP being Indian and the women being white (or any other race/ethnicity). It has a lot more to do with his negative attitude towards race and ethnicity, and the fact that he seems to care so much about that stuff.

 

Most people these days (women and men, doesn't matter what race/ethnicity) generally don't like folks who have problems with the opposite gender of their race. Most people that date inter-racially are also willing to date within their own race. That said, many people tend to end up in serious relationships with those of a similar culture (which often means same race or ethnicity)...even if they've dated and had enjoyable casual r-ships outside of that sphere in the past. It's generally easier to "click" with someone that's culturally similar to yourself. It's not a hate thing...in most cases it's just the way things organically shake out.

 

Indian men (just like any other man) that have a positive and fun attitude, good social skills & awareness, a decent sense of humor, some direction/passion in life and presentable looks are far more likely to attract women...both Indian women and non-Indian women (including white). It's not rocket science. I have a couple of Indian acquaintances that I've occasionally hung out with while out on the town and both seem to be well-liked by opposite-gender people of all stripes, because they have engaging personalities and are pleasant to be around.

 

OP, I suggest you do some introspection and work on your attitude. The problem isn't you being Indian. The problem is you as an individual.

[Naveen2016]

Men are less discriminatory in general because they have a lot less to lose in relationships. "Cultural" reasons is a very broad term. For example, Let's say white women don't like you because you "approach" them randomly in some labored way, lacking total self awareness, and do your cringe-inducing pick up routine, and they get turned off by the whole thing. Is that considered a "cultural" reason because you're from a different culture? My guess is a guy of any race would likely get the same result, not because of cultural differences but because the idea is just bad to begin with......

 

 

Now first of all you are just assuming that's what happened. There was no pickup line. I just started a convo like I do with any other fat guy on the street. There was no nervousness or anything else. I was just talking about some random stuff and being friendly. But when I speak they obviously know that I'm not from here. They also know that I'm an asian guy who is probably not aware of the dating etiquettes or whatever else westerners or people who grew up in the west are quite familiar with. So when I ask them for their number or facebook its almost like they have made up their minds already during the conversation that the answer is gonna be "No".

[Naveen2016]

The more posts I read from the OP, the easier it is to understand why he has difficulty connecting with women. It has very little to do with the OP being Indian and the women being white (or any other race/ethnicity). It has a lot more to do with his negative attitude towards race and ethnicity, and the fact that he seems to care so much about that stuff.

 

Most people these days (women and men, doesn't matter what race/ethnicity) generally don't like folks who have problems with the opposite gender of their race. Most people that date inter-racially are also willing to date within their own race. That said, many people tend to end up in serious relationships with those of a similar culture (which often means same race or ethnicity)...even if they've dated and had enjoyable casual r-ships outside of that sphere in the past. It's generally easier to "click" with someone that's culturally similar to yourself. It's not a hate thing...in most cases it's just the way things organically shake out.

 

Indian men (just like any other man) that have a positive and fun attitude, good social skills & awareness, a decent sense of humor, some direction/passion in life and presentable looks are far more likely to attract women...both Indian women and non-Indian women (including white). It's not rocket science. I have a couple of Indian acquaintances that I've occasionally hung out with while out on the town and both seem to be well-liked by opposite-gender people of all stripes, because they have engaging personalities and are pleasant to be around.

 

OP, I suggest you do some introspection and work on your attitude. The problem isn't you being Indian. The problem is you as an individual.

 

 

1) Not really. Many east asian girls who grow up in the west are really adamant that they won't date men of their own race. You might be talking about white and black people.Might be true in their case.

 

2)You are right. I have seen Indian guys with white girls here. Although I'm not sure if they are aussie indians or the ones that came here recently.

[normal person]

Now first of all you are just assuming that's what happened. There was no pickup line. I just started a convo like I do with any other fat guy on the street. There was no nervousness or anything else. I was just talking about some random stuff and being friendly. But when I speak they obviously know that I'm not from here. They also know that I'm an asian guy who is probably not aware of the dating etiquettes or whatever else westerners or people who grew up in the west are quite familiar with. So when I ask them for their number or facebook its almost like they have made up their minds already during the conversation that the answer is gonna be "No".

 

Here's a question: why do you assume they would give you your number if all you were doing was just having a friendly, random, conversation -- regardless of race? I have friendly, random conversations with people every day, in no way do I ever think that's an indicator that the person wants to go out with me. This has only happened to me once or twice, and it was only after the conversation had made a distinct evolution from "friendly" to "more than friendly."

 

 

My guess is that it's not that they don't like you just because you're foreign, however, being foreign, you're prone to making a lot of missteps, and those are the things they don't like or that hinder you.

 

It's like if I went to China and tried to meet women like I do here, I'd probably fail miserably. Not because I'm American, but because I don't know anything about Chinese dating culture (as a result of being American). You're assigning blame to your race when anyone with a different race and the same ineptitudes would have the same problem.

 

Fix your view of western dating, not your skin color.

[Naveen2016]

Here's a question: why do you assume they would give you your number if all you were doing was just having a friendly, random, conversation -- regardless of race? I have friendly, random conversations with people every day, in no way do I ever think that's an indicator that the person wants to go out with me. This has only happened to me once or twice, and it was only after the conversation had made a distinct evolution from "friendly" to "more than friendly."

 

 

My guess is that it's not that they don't like you just because you're foreign, however, being foreign, you're prone to making a lot of missteps, and those are the things they don't like or that hinder you.

 

It's like if I went to China and tried to meet women like I do here, I'd probably fail miserably. Not because I'm American, but because I don't know anything about Chinese dating culture (as a result of being American). You're assigning blame to your race when anyone with a different race and the same ineptitudes would have the same problem.

 

Fix your view of western dating, not your skin color.

 

 

Whats the misstep? I mean if I use some pickup lines n act like a sleazeball then that would probably be the reason why a girl rejects me because I came off as too needy and desperate and showed my interest too early. If I act like a normal person and have a normal friendly conversation then the question is "why am I not being more than friendly?" I think its pretty obvious that if you are talking to a stranger of the opposite sex for no particular reason at all (like selling them something or asking directions) and getting to know them then its because you are attracted to them.

[Chris2016]

OP, go for Indians ladies. Indian ladies are attractive. Hooking up with a white lady isn't really all it's cracked up to be. Great, you managed to hookup with her, now what?

[normal person]

Whats the misstep? I mean if I use some pickup lines n act like a sleazeball then that would probably be the reason why a girl rejects me because I came off as too needy and desperate and showed my interest too early. If I act like a normal person and have a normal friendly conversation then the question is "why am I not being more than friendly?" I think its pretty obvious that if you are talking to a stranger of the opposite sex for no particular reason at all (like selling them something or asking directions) and getting to know them then its because you are attracted to them.

 

The misstep is thinking that someone would be attracted to you and want to go out with you by mere virtue of you talking to them. It's asinine. If a random stranger strikes up a conversation with you about something relatively meaningless, do you suddenly fall under some spell of charm and attraction and hope that they ask you out? No? So why do you think it would be different if you're the stranger to someone else? Revisit my earlier post in the thread about why "approaching" is a bad idea. To maintain relevance to the thread: it has nothing to do with race.

 

Also, you didn't answer the question. Why do you assume they would give you your number if all you were doing was just having a friendly, random, conversation -- regardless of race? What do you think is going to make them going from feeling indifference to attraction? Your comment about how "it looks like it might rain later?"

Edited August 21, 2016 by normal person

[losangelena]

It's certainly not unheard of. Most of the women I've dated are white and my current girlfriend is white. It just takes more effort to find those women. I ask out a lot more women to compensate for my lower response rate. My current girlfriend was nearly the 200th woman I had messaged that month on Match.

 

My ex is Indian, but pretty non-traditional. He's got no interest in an arrangement, but his parents still bang that drum. Anyway, his experience is similar to SO, in that he dates white women, but had to look for a long time before he found me. Have no idea what his success rate has been post-breakup, but I can tell you any trouble he's had is probably not because he's Indian.

[Naveen2016]

The misstep is thinking that someone would be attracted to you and want to go out with you by mere virtue of you talking to them. It's asinine. If a random stranger strikes up a conversation with you about something relatively meaningless, do you suddenly fall under some spell of charm and attraction and hope that they ask you out? No? So why do you think it would be different if you're the stranger to someone else? Revisit my earlier post in the thread about why "approaching" is a bad idea. To maintain relevance to the thread: it has nothing to do with race.

 

Also, you didn't answer the question. Why do you assume they would give you your number if all you were doing was just having a friendly, random, conversation -- regardless of race? What do you think is going to make them going from feeling indifference to attraction? Your comment about how "it looks like it might rain later?"

 

 

Depends on who the random stranger is. If he is an old man or some guy on the street then I wouldn't care. If it's girl just trying to start a conversation for the sake of it without any purpose then yes it means she is up to something or finds me attractive otherwise what's the point of that interaction? What I do is called the cold approach. You might not be a fan of approaches at all but I am and I think its fun to talk to strangers and try to get their number in the right circumstances.

 

Your rain comment is more like a conversation starter. Then I would talk about different topics. The point is they know why I'm talking to them. But maybe you are right. Since many of them act like they don't get it I need to be more aggressive with my comments and make my intentions clearer. I will try that next time.

[Els]

So much pride. You will probably need an extra brain to store all of that. But not for long. Order is being restored. It is the Asian century whether you like it or not.

 

Read my post again. I said eventhough men are more open to interracial relationships it's women who mostly don't accept it for cultural reasons except for east Asian women. As a white guy obviously you would want every woman for yourself and keep your women to yourselves at the same time.

 

There are 2 ways about it. That's probably why Hollywood tries too hard to make sure white men play lead Asian characters in movies. That way they can get admiration from Asian girls while keeping their media obsessed women at the same time.

 

Jesus. And you wonder why you're having problems dating...

[EMT girl]

OP, you have been in Australia for 2 months? You sound rather impatient about finding someone. Have you decided you only want a white girl? You're painting yourself into a corner with that outlook, is it white girls looks that you are only attracted to? (Because us white girls come in so many variations, it's not just one look)

 

If I were you I'd relax, make friends at work, be a good man. Odd are, if you work with white people, they know some white women they can introduce you to, but honestly, I think you should keep your options open.

 

In addition, please stop trying to give props to "asians" as if they are one race. They are not. Asian men from different countries and cultures look different and behave quite differently from each other. Are you Hindu or Muslim ? I'm assuming you are not religious, since not many white people are either of those religions. Do you attend worship at all? That may be a place to find a like minded woman.

 

Bars are a terrible place to meet people for any kind of relationship, do things that you enjoy doing, a woman doing those same things may be there for the finding.

 

Good luck!

[normal person]

If it's girl just trying to start a conversation for the sake of it without any purpose then yes it means she is up to something or finds me attractive otherwise what's the point of that interaction?

 

If it's a girl starting a conversation with you, then you might be on to something. However, that isn't the case here. In the real life scenarios that were describing, you are the stranger walking up to someone and starting a random conversation, and somehow assuming they'll like you just "because." You don't understand that when you do that, all that's happening is you are showing your cards -- not the other way around.

 

What you seem to think they think: "Wow, a stranger is talking to me. I'll just engage in some meaningless small talk with him (that I could have with anyone else on planet Earth) and then give him my phone number for some reason even though he's done absolutely nothing to make me attracted to him."

 

What they actually think: "Ugh, this weird guy is talking to me for some reason, he's probably hitting on me because guys don't just walk up to people and start talking unless they're weird or desperate. He probably has to do this because no other woman will give him the time of day because there's probably something inherently unappealing about him. He's probably just going to ask me some bulls*** questions and then think I'll be charmed by him enough to give him my phone number. Jesus, please make him go away right now."

 

What I do is called the cold approach. You might not be a fan of approaches at all but I am and I think its fun to talk to strangers and try to get their number in the right circumstances.

 

And what you do is not at all conducive to success hence why you had to start a thread on a forum complaining that it didn't work and blame it on your race. You don't seem to understand that just because it's fun for you doesn't in any way make you more appealing to them, and they're the ones who control your fate if you put in their hands like you have been.

 

Your rain comment is more like a conversation starter. Then I would talk about different topics. The point is they know why I'm talking to them.

 

Yeah, exactly. They know, they don't like it, and they can't wait for you to leave.

 

 

But maybe you are right. Since many of them act like they don't get it I need to be more aggressive with my comments and make my intentions clearer. I will try that next time.

 

Listen to me -- it's not that they "don't get it." YOU ARE THE ONE WHO DOESN'T "GET IT."

 

They get it. They don't like being approached by some random guy and asked a bunch of banalities. They aren't stupid. They know what you're up to. They see through your act long before you've even realized it. Being "more aggressive" is the last thing you should do.

 

Approaching women randomly is a loser's game for desperate, insecure men. When you do that you're basically just advertising how much all the other women don't like you.

 

If you just chill out, stop acting so desperately forward and heavy handed, take the time to learn the nuances of western dating, and wait for the right opportunity, you will have much better luck. The way you're doing it could not be more wrong. The women are laughing at/creeped out by/scared of you and your behavior, I guarantee it.