maryquitecontrary Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 Okay, I have been having fun for two years after a failed 17 year relationship/marriage. I feel like I'm ready to start having a serious relationship again. I decided that I definitely wouldn't sleep with a man on the first date and so as a result I don't get a second date, but hey, it just helps me sift through the "users" more quickly. So in your opinion what is an appropriate and respectable amount of time to wait to have sex with someone that you really like?
smackie9 Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 Only if we are seeing each other regularly, like three or more times a week, meeting friends. That would be an indication to me that we like being a part of each others lives. I would never waste my time with anyone that would only see me once a week or twice if I was lucky. So it's not really "amount" of time passed but more about how much quality time being spent, and how much is invested. 3
BaileyB Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 ^^ Agreed. When you feel like he is there for you, not the sex. That takes several dates... Time to get to know each other and invest in the relationship. Definitely not if he is sleeping with or dating anyone else. Good luck!
jen1447 Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 So in your opinion what is an appropriate and respectable amount of time to wait to have sex with someone that you really like? A few minutes. 4
scooby-philly Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 I think that's a personal question/standard that only you can answer. You could say yes on the first date and never see that guy again or he could turn in the love of your life that you'll spend the rest of your days with - but you won't know until you try. I'm not advocating sex on the first date. Those almost always don't work out but.....if you are focused on the number then you may lose sight of your feelings. I think most decent guys are fine with a date 3-8 rule. I've had it on the first night - crazy - 10th date - didn't end up with her. Got engaged and we did it on the 3/4 date. Whatever your formula is, you have to stick to it. And if you fee like having sex on the first date and it doesn't work out - just smile - hopefully it was awesome.
Grisho Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 Flings and relationships can end after an hour, after 1 date, after 10 years and so on and so on... Assuming you're looking for a relationship and seeking out men who say they want the same... When someone doesn't want a second date, it isn't because you had sex or didn't have sex - they either were only ever interested in a fling (and so lied about wanting a relationship), or left the date not believing you are compatible together.
Bialy Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 For me, it's about the quality & frequency of time spent together. I LOVE when I meet someone who I can talk with for hours and lose track of time. If I had a good first and second date and there was mutual attraction, chemistry, and vibe, and great conversation, it's only natural for me to want to see the person more. So, if everything is going really well - it might be around 4-8 dates before I'm ready and comfortable to see if we mesh physically.
Gaeta Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 At my age (50) I have no one to impress, no one to obey to, no virtue to save, If I feel like sex I have it, period. I have had sex on first date that turned into long term relationships. If a man loses respect for me because we had sex early than he is too prude for me. I want someone that has evolved beyond that. 5
summertitparadise Posted August 18, 2016 Posted August 18, 2016 As long as my body yearns to have it. LOL!
mbee Posted August 18, 2016 Posted August 18, 2016 This depends completely on the person. There is no rule. Personally it's very hard for me have sex with a guy that I don't know for awhile. this comes down to some very personal issues that happened to me when I was younger. I love having sex but getting to that level where I want to have sex with a new person takes awhile. The earliest I've had sex with a guy was on maybe the 6th date so it can take me anywhere from 1-3 months to have sex with a guy. The guys I end up falling in love with are the ones where the emotional connections are strong so therefore sex usually happens around the 6-8 date mark. Everyone is different. Do you. 1
joseb Posted August 18, 2016 Posted August 18, 2016 It really shytes me when people make arbitrary rules about number of dates/time before having sex. Have sex when you feel like you want to. Guys are no more or less likely to think badly of you for having sex.
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