soosad Posted July 3, 2005 Posted July 3, 2005 A co-worker of mine was dumped by his long term g/f(5 yrs). I was dumped by my long term g/f(14yrs) What I did: She said she didn't love me anymore.For 2 months I tried the whole friends thing in hopes or getting back together. Didn't work I felt worse. Did NC for 1 month until I called her we talked for few weeks and then I met her for lunch V-day weekend in hopes of getting back together. Lunch was perfect. She called me afterwards and she was pretty cold. I knew i had to do NC my emotions couldn't handle it anymore. Did NC for 4 1/2 months she called twice in that period i didn't answer. What he did: She left him he was devastated. She had a baby from another man while they were split. He maintained contact wrote letters sent flowers basically trying everything to get her back. She said she didn't love him anymore. He was persistent We would both talk each-other through this since he is a co-worker. He would buy and make the baby toys. He would offer to babysit her baby. She wouldn't see him or go out with him on a personal level through all this. He would make arrangements to pick up the baby and drop the baby off. He kept trying to get her back and getting shot down. He would tell me that he knows he shoudn't be doing that but he would do it anyway. His family and i advised him to do NC. He was crying all the time but he kept calling visiting the baby and professing his love to her. This went on for about 1 year he didn't see anyone for that period of time. She kept saying she didn't love him and was pretty depressed. He would tell me how much he loves her baby. I was thinking it was and excuse to see her. Well in the end after 1 year of being hurt and being persistent she is now asking to come back to him. They have seen each-other every day since she wanted him back. He's so happy yet unsure if it was worth it. He is making her work for it. I was so happy for him he's a great guy but I told him to be very very careful. I still think he deserves better though. This happened last week. He was determined and suffered a lot for it but it seems like CONTACT worked for him. I have recently sent my ex a friendly "how are you?" email. She left a friendly response. I have zero expectations. Just thought that his story was worth posting. We were both dumped by our loves. I'm am glad he didn't take my advice to NC her.
smile95 Posted July 3, 2005 Posted July 3, 2005 everyone is different....... I was with a guy 3 yrs......did NC for a month.....he called......and we tried friends for about 2 weeks.....it sucked....I had high hopes cause he would say he missed me and loved me and would marry me one day....so of course I love him and got my hopes up......now, he calls when he wants becasue we are "just friends" and it tears me up that I cannot ask him what he did or who he was with.......I am now doing NC agian....it hurts so much to still be in his life half ass.....I suggest NC and NO friends......it really does hurt a lot. If it is meant to be, she will come back. Maybe just tell her that you are there if she needs you anytime, but it hurts too much to have her in your life if you cannot love her the way you want....that way she does not have a bad taste in her mouth about you, will be impressed that you are being so independent, and maybe if it is meant to be, she will come back. Good luck-I know it hurts, but believe me.......friends is so hard when you love them. Too many things to think/worry about. The less you know the better.
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