Falling back in love with an ex boyfriend from years ago?

[I'msolostatthemoment]

Hi everyone,

 

I have had a very traumatic few years, 8 years in total. I genuinely have gone through hell and back. I almost died on two separate occasions, as well as having severe illness.

 

Thankfully, after getting into hospital (2 years ago) and alot of very painful trauma treatment I am recovering from severe suicidal depression, and PTSD. I am getting better, its taking a long time, but I'm finally starting to heal.

 

Anyways, over the past 2 or 3 months, my ex boyfriends have been coming back into my mind alot, and appearing in dreams. Over the past 3 weeks or so, an ex boyfriend of mine just won't leave my mind. I am back in love with him again. I miss him terribly, I miss him as much as I did when we broke up. He broke up with me over 12 years ago. I never loved anyone as much as him.

 

I was absoltuely destroyed when it ended, I went to pieces, and something in me died that time. He won't leave my mind, I am back in love with him again, and I miss him so much. It is the oddest thing I have to say.

 

I sent him a message via Facebook, asked how he was doing, and I didn't mean to bother him if he didn't reply, or get back to me. He didn't get back to me, that was over a week ago. I am heart broken all over again, and I can't stop thinking about him.

 

I don't know what to do, I am heart broken all over again. Would anyone have any advice, or maybe any idea why I am back in love with him again, and missing him so much? I had two long term relationships after him, that also ended, but I met this guy 12 years ago, and I love him so much again?!

 

Any thoughts, I would be so grateful, thank you

[I'msolostatthemoment]

I'm so sorry this might seem like an odd post, I would be extremely grateful for some advice on this, as its driving me mad, driving me mad just like how much when I missed him years ago too.

 

Thanks so much if anyone might be able to offer some advice

[mg4514]

This is just a thought that came to mind. I could be way off base. Maybe you feel like you're back in love with him again because you've recently experienced so much other unrelated turmoil. Maybe the thought of him reminds you of a happier, less chaotic time in your life. Your naturally associating that less complicated era with him, and you're longing for that peace again. My point is. Maybe you're not in love with him...maybe you're in love with the happier mindset you had back then.

[I'msolostatthemoment]

This is just a thought that came to mind. I could be way off base. Maybe you feel like you're back in love with him again because you've recently experienced so much other unrelated turmoil. Maybe the thought of him reminds you of a happier, less chaotic time in your life. Your naturally associating that less complicated era with him, and you're longing for that peace again. My point is. Maybe you're not in love with him...maybe you're in love with the happier mindset you had back then.

 

I don't know at all myself, I'm really grateful for your opinion. The same way I used to miss him all those years ago after we broke up, I have that longing and I miss him just like I did years ago. I am back in love with him again, I know that for sure, I can feel it.

 

I just can't understand why I am feeling like this 12 years later, its so bizzare!

[mg4514]

If you're missing him that much, with the same intensity as you did 12 years ago...that tells me you never truly finished processing that loss. This time do it right. Allow yourself. To feel the pain, and allow yourself to grieve. It's normal, and it's healthy. Don't try to fight the heartbreak. Let it happen. At the same time don't dwell on it...or force yourself to obsess about it. When the thoughts come, let the painful feelings happen. Soon they will become less frequent...and after awhile they will become less intense. Hang in there, and talk to people. Sometimes it's good to hear your own words coming out of your mouth. I'm pulling for you.

[I'msolostatthemoment]

If you're missing him that much, with the same intensity as you did 12 years ago...that tells me you never truly finished processing that loss. This time do it right. Allow yourself. To feel the pain, and allow yourself to grieve. It's normal, and it's healthy. Don't try to fight the heartbreak. Let it happen. At the same time don't dwell on it...or force yourself to obsess about it. When the thoughts come, let the painful feelings happen. Soon they will become less frequent...and after awhile they will become less intense. Hang in there, and talk to people. Sometimes it's good to hear your own words coming out of your mouth. I'm pulling for you.

 

I grieved over our break up that time for 2 years. I was so heart broken, and missed him so much 11 years ago, that I attempted suicide a year after we broke up. I was so tired of being heart broken and missing him so much.

 

I survived the suicide attempt, but for some odd reason after that I felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest. I continued to miss him for months after that, but it gradually wasn't as painful.

 

Almost 2 years after we broke up, I got involved with someone else, who I was with for 2 years. Then after a few years of extreme stress, I got involved with someone else for a year and a half, he was bad for me so I ended it.

 

All of this has taken place over the past 2 or 3 months where I have remembered ex boyfriends, but I am back in love with him for about the past 3 weeks. It is at the same intensity of how much I missed him 12 years ago after we broke up, and I am heart broken all over again, especially when I sent him a message via Facebook, but I got no reply :(

 

Thank you so much, I am valuing your opinion and thoughts

[mg4514]

I'm not so sure I'm being very helpful. I can't explain why you feel the intensity all over again. What I can say is, use his non-reply as fuel for getting back on track. Normally I would say it's not unusual for someone to bounce back and forth between feelings of sadness, sorrow, and reconciliation. But after 12 years I would've expected for you to be past that. I'm sorry the scab has been pulled off again. I know what it feels like to be heartbroken. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. If I think of something provocative, I'll let you know.

[I'msolostatthemoment]

I'm not so sure I'm being very helpful. I can't explain why you feel the intensity all over again. What I can say is, use his non-reply as fuel for getting back on track. Normally I would say it's not unusual for someone to bounce back and forth between feelings of sadness, sorrow, and reconciliation. But after 12 years I would've expected for you to be past that. I'm sorry the scab has been pulled off again. I know what it feels like to be heartbroken. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. If I think of something provocative, I'll let you know.

 

No, honestly I am very grateful for your opinion, I can't understand this at all myself, so a second opinion is most appreciated. I really must be crazy!