Is he into me or not?

[sk1977]

Hi all,

I'm back into dating scene after ending 16 year marriage and not sure how to navigate the waters of dating, specifically online dating. Both female and male perspective on this would be greatly appreciated. He is sending mixed signals, and I can't figure out if he is just really guarded or maybe just not that into me.

 

A little background info. We met online. Had 2 dates: dinner & met up for coffee. I thought they both went great: nice conversation, similar interests and I felt attracted to him. Then he never asked me out for another date. I thought, fine, he just didn't like me. Then, three weeks later, he texted me out of nowhere and invited me for dinner. Again, nice conversation, but he is very physically reserved- no touching and a little "good night" peck on the lips at the end. On one hand, it's very refreshing that they guy isn't jumping on me by the third date, on the other hand makes me wonder if he is even attracted to me. Our forth date is the movie date. He did take my hand in his by the end of the movie, then a few little kisses before we said good night.

 

He is not texting me much between the dates. No flirting. I think he mentioned once that he thought i was pretty, but that's about it. We didn't see each other for two weeks, because we both have kids, and kid-free time is scarce. We exchanged a few texts in those two weeks, and he said while he is enjoying my company, he was feeling a little uneasy about me being freshly separated from my husband, that he doesn't want to be a re-bound. He also mentioned he's been hurt by women before and "tired of the game". At that point I asked him if he'd like to stop seeing me or continue to see me and proceed slowly. He said he wanted to continue slowly and see how it goes. At that point I had a feeling that although he thinks I'm not ready for a relationship, he might be the one who is not ready after having his heart broken a few times. Also, he mentioned he was a hopeless romantic, yet his behavior towards me felt very much platonic.

 

So, last weekend we spent the whole day hiking ( he initiated it). It was a great day, but again no touching, no kissing the whole time we hiked. I'm usually a very affectionate person, but because he's been so reserved, I didn't want to initiate. When we got back, he invited me to stay at his house for dinner. After dinner we set on the couch, and I was the first one to touch his hand. We ended up making out and rolling around on the couch. It was hot, at least in my opinion. We didn't have sex. Just ended up cuddling and I went home later. He took my face in his hands and gave me a nice kiss and a hug before I left.

 

There is no next date set at this point. He was the first one to text me in the late afternoon the following date, saying he was hoping i enjoyed our day together. I told him I did. I wanted to add some flirting and romance and said I couldn't stop thinking of him kissing me and that he is a really great kisser. He thanked me and said that it takes two. So, we exchanged maybe four text messages that day. The next day I wanted to see if he would text me first, but he didn't. So, I texted him first and asked him how his day was. He said, good, but didn't elaborate. Again, trying to bring some spark into conversation, I told him it was really nice to cuddle with him and that I really liked him. He responded, saying yes, it was nice to cuddle. Then said he was going to bed. Nothing else.

 

Today the whole day passed and he hasn't texted me yet. I don't think I'm needy and not expecting the guy to text me all the time, but I feel like if he liked me, he could at least say something short and sweet, like he is thinking of me, or can't wait to see me again. Considering that he said he was a hopeless romantic, it's strange that he is a complete opposite with me. I'm really attracted to him physically, but also to his personality. He is very intelligent. We have a lot in common. I'm finding myself wanting more-spending more time together, wanting him to be more affectionate with me. So far I feel like I'm the only one interested in the romantic relationship with him and the one pursuing him.

 

Is he not interested, and I just refuse to admit it for myself? Or is he really just want to take it slow because he doesn't want to get hurt? At this point I decided not to make any efforts to connect with him and see if he initiates something. I think I'm starting to fall for him, hoping he actually likes me, but just afraid to proceed, because he's been hurt. But on the other hand, I want to hear the outside perspective on this. What do you guys think? Should I just move on?

 

Sorry this is long. Thank you!!

[DramaInPajamas]

In general if you have a couple of dates and then vanish for a few weeks and then are sketchy with contact, it means they didnt like you enough but have come back because they kept dating and didnt find anyone else.