Notsurehwattodo Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 Hi guys, Im new on here an want to post to ask for advice and support. my story is long please read it. i was with my ex boyfriend for 7 years. My parents and friends never approved of him which let me to running away from home. mind you I'm 22. i ran away with him and he took me in he rented a house. bought me everything tried to take care of me so much. but at the same time he was hitting me. always at 4 am in the morning waking me up. he started drinking and taking drugs 4 nights a week he was always angry. he has been diagnosed with bi polar, ADHD, anger management issues. he never trusted me. he used to say he loves me and kiss me and all that. i love him and i still love him so much and that my problem. he kicked me out multiple time at 4 am and said he doesn't want me then we got back together and i felt so **** because my family wasn't with me i had no one. i mean it no one to talk to . i study full time. but lost my job. so the story is, 3 days ago he decided to drink at night and i was watching a movie. he accused me of doing something behind his back he always accused me of cheating ( no i didn't cheat) i even cut all my friends out to not upset him. he went on to search the room and was upset. however i was so angry that he always does this that i had enough and i started saying things like. I'm sick of this **** and so sick of how you treat me and how you do you. I'm sick of being treated like that and i went on and i made him feel down. which i feel horrible about. he didn't hit me that day but he went to sleep. woke up the second day and called me name so many names and said to me its over for real. then i got pissed and asked to meet someone older then him so he can add some sense on to the situation. he said to take a brake and we agrees but i told his friend that he always hits me drinks and takes drugs and this pissed him off the most. He came home picked his things up and left then called me saying its over and that its my fault as he always amused me its always my fault. he didn't come home two days then i went to see him. i begged him i didn't know what to do i was so broken and he just said to **** off and that he hates me and will never be with me again and can't stand me. mind you this has been happening for a while. then i decided to finally try and connect with my family and i told him he said okay go **** off he offered to pay rent for 3 months and for me to stand up on my feet but he wasn't going to come back. he wanted me to sit and wait if he has a ' change of heart' he could come back. then couldn't do it. i knew its over o just couldn't force my self on him anymore. so i took my bags and went to my family begging them. they still haven't helped me but said i can stay for now until they decide. but I'm so so so broken i can't study i can't think. i miss him . I'm starting to think his right its all my fault. he left and his all happy and out. i haven't spoken to him for 2 days and i miss him so so so so so much. please help me
ExpatInItaly Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 You need help. On a professional level, I mean. This man has been abusing you for years and it's not your fault. Make no mistake, he doesn't love you. You did the right thing going back to your family. Be completely honest with them about the abuse. You need all the support you can get right now. Good for you for exposing him to his friends, also. This punk has been hedging on you not being brave enough to come forward and it's a good thing you finally did. He doesn't care enough about you to protect you, after all. Stay far, far away from him. Try to find a counselor who can guide you through this process. This isn't something you'll be able to do on your own, I fear. I have a sinking feeling you'll run back to him, which is very dangerous. He isn't a good person. You aren't loved or even liked by this clown. He loves the control he has over you, but he doesn't love you. Seek out support services for domestic violence victims in your area. They are there to help you. Please take care of yourself. 1
whatnot Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 If you want your family's support....stay away from this mad man. It's impossible to help anyone who refuses it. Find people who care about you (They're there). You have to begin to do this as well...by staying the heck away from this animal. I'm sorry for your pain and circumstances. There is a way out....but the way out will never include this man. Ever. Never. Good luck to you.
whatnot Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 (edited) This relationship is a drug to you. It's your heroin. You have to get out of this relationship to give yourself a chance. Edited August 16, 2016 by whatnot
Author Notsurehwattodo Posted August 18, 2016 Author Posted August 18, 2016 Hi, thank you so much for your rely. the support means a lot to me. i wanted to update you guys on what happened. he called me yesterday randomly when i started to feel a tiny bit better. He asked how I'm and stupid me started crying. we then ended up having a one hour conversation. him asking me if he should leave the place we rented together as its too much to afford now. anyway he went on to say he really doesn't want me he can't trust me he hates our relationship then he stated that he loves me and he did grow up with me and will most likely never get over me but at the moment he is very angry and need to calm down and this could take between 6 month to even a year. he said to me to live on the thought that we will get back together and i stated this is his last chance and i can't do it after. as soon as i said i will need to move on he started calling me names and saying that I'm selfish and all i want is to sleep with people. i cried my eyes out then i realised he wants to play me like a toy. it hurt heaps i don't understand how someone could do that. i won't be answseing his calls again. but i need to vent when i talk about it i start to feel better.
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