mallory.song Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 Let's see if I can keep it simple... [backstory] He emotionally cheated on me 3 years ago. I dumped him like yesterday's garbage afterwards. We were together for about a year, but we both knew each other for much longer than that. This was a rough break up on both sides. I completely cut off contact with him afterwards and we reconnected a year after when he texted me. I met him once for coffee through those texts, but after observing him, I realized going back to him would be a mistake. He broke my heart and I didn't think he changed in the ways that mattered. I decided to go no-contact again. He would send me messages but I didn't respond. To be fair, I did answer the courteous "thank you" when he wished me well on holidays now and then, but didn't respond to anything else . BTW, I changed numbers (not because of him, but hey, I killed two birds with one stone!) and deleted all my social media accounts so my email is his only link to me. Over a year of no response to his messages, he got really frustrated and sent me a long message as a farewell, that he apparently wanted to show me he changed but now that I didn't want to have anything to do with him he got that it was good bye for life and he wished me a good life. Okay. [Present] Now after over a year and a half since he sent that message, out of the blue, he sent me an email on my birthday with a drawing of me (He draws for a living). Yes, it's flattering, but it also freaked me out. I blocked him a long time ago, but he either created a new email account or used an alternate one that he already had to contact me. Also, he sent the email to 3 of my email addresses (I have two others), in the middle of the night. He says he still thinks about me even now and that he hopes I'm doing well. So my emotions are pretty screwed up right now. It's been three (3) years and I was (or at least I thought I was?) doing well with my life and I thought I completely moved on, but this goddamned email just opened up a ****load of floodgates. I'm trying to drink/smoke it off, but it's just not happening. After all this time, I'm so affected by this like I still have feelings. Do I? Common sense is telling me I need to move on if I have any self-respect. But my mind's playing some Olympian-level of mental gymnastics to tell myself that it's gonna be beautiful this time. I'm confused. TL;DR - Ex-BF wishes me happy birthday after over a year of NC. What am I supposed to read from this email? I'm not sure how I should respond to him. Thank you.
bummer Posted August 17, 2016 Posted August 17, 2016 Maybe he has changed and the reason for the breakup doesn't exist anymore? Maybe you too still have tons in common and could find a new thread to start over with? He's not over you. That's clear. Late night hand-drawn portraits of old ex gfs sent to all her addresses is stalkerish romance at its best. So your lonely optimistic heart thinks wow, but your standoffish bitch mind says to let cheating cheaters cheat elsewhere. You are definitely not over the thought of him at the very least. Was the emotional cheating the only reason it ended before or was it a symptom of something else? Have you dated others since then? Mental gymnastics aside, can you see yourself with him again, happy and carefree? Speculator's answer guide: 1. Likely 2. Only a date can decide 3. Symptom 4. Not seriously 5. No. He cheated...
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