Asianasian22 Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 I'm 22. She's 22 with a 2 year old. She ended things with a 3 year boyfriend. She had a kid in between from another person. Dad is out of picture. Former boyfriend was father role. We met through friends roughly 2 months after they broke up and seperated from their up down mess. Red flag I know. We hit it off well hung out for about a month, before I left for boot camp. She was afraid of a relationship, but didn't want to lose me so we started it. She wrote and motivated me consistently during the next 3 months. She also met up and was having lunch with my mom on a consistent basis when I was gone. So I thought good right? I came back for a week, we were together most of it, I met rest of her family, and I don't know I may have slipped the l word in sex. I felt it. I was really for it and her letters I thought said so to. I left again for 3 months, it was up and down, argued, pretty much she was stressed with work, home, baby dad court, ex boyfriend drama. She got mean towards me at times then apoligized and didn't seem to really want to keep putting in effort. It was a headache of missing her, being gone, and training. This went on for 2 months. It came to the point she wanted a break, I said let's end it, because all efort was from my end. I got sent home for a 30 day duty. I bought flowers met up it was just causal. I wanted to work things, she just seemed preoccupied with everything else. So we were in this weird friendship. She took me out to dinner before I left again just casual ahe said she didnt want to completely lose me. I went back to base. It just seemed pointless I was hurting so I told her we need to cut off. Took her off fb snap. Couple weeks pass. I told her happy b day. Light convy nothing bad, i just told her since we arnt working things out I need to distance. She even told me it ended cuz she stopped putting in effort. So I don't know, I'm lonely in my woes, I can push through, but damnit, I liked her a hell of a lot, I liked her daughter, and this base is 99% men. I can talk to her but I know it won't go anywhere. It just drains all the effort, time, I wrote in a notepad to her every night in barracks, or field training when I couldn't call. I was good to her, family liked me, she just didn't want to put in the effort. What do you guys think walk away? Oh and my duty station, I'll be stationed near home in 2 months.
summertitparadise Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 She doesn't want to put in the effort. Pointless to spend your time on her.
dpass Posted August 16, 2016 Posted August 16, 2016 It's extremely difficult to have a new relationship when you are always gone. Long distance relationships are hard, harder when one or both parties are under a lot of stress. Military life is stressful and it is not something everyone can handle. She is not willing to put in the effort, she admitted that. Let her go. You need to go no contact (NC). Remove her from everything and stop talking to her, you feelings are going to keep coming back if you keep talking to her. No "how are you's", no 'happy birthdays" or "merry christmas". Cease contact. She is in no place to be in a relationship. She needs to fix all the other drama in her life first.
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